I lost my child this week.

Samoy · #1 May 21st, 2011, 01:40 PM

Hi Ladies.

Looking for some support. Went for my prenatal visit this past Tuesday and found out my baby died at eight weeks and two days.

I had a D & C yesterday.

I'm numb and in pain. I talked to my sister who told me that being a mother is not all that and not for every one and God has a plan. She has four kids. My aunt was sarcastic with "well you can afford it." My husband has a son, so he's looking at it as something that happened to me, not him. He's been disconnected from my pregnancy and need to be a mother, so he's become irrelavent to me. If I hear him talk about his nephews, or son I will scream!!!!!!!

I feel lost and all alone and i'm AAAAANGRY! I'm AAAAANGRY! I've cried! I've cursed GOD! I want to fight everyone with a bump and a child!

I need a place to say those words. I hope I didn't scare you guys away because I need some support right now, and I'm all alone.

Samoy

luvmykids623 · #2 May 21st, 2011, 02:43 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss! I can assure you that you will not scare away anyone who is on this board. We all can identify with the anger and sadness you are feeling. I have been HATEFULLY angry in the midst of my 3 losses, and even after I thought I was doing better it has a habit of coming back. As for not wanting to hear about others who are pregnant or see them, that is natural too. I had my third loss in September, and then found out that 3 of my friends at work were due 2 days-2 weeks of me. It was hell on Earth. Like I said, what you're feeling is completely normal, and I'm so sorry that you have to know what this is like. This is a great place for support. The ladies here are amazing. I hope you are able to find some comfort here!

Mom 2 Avery · #3 May 21st, 2011, 02:44 PM

And now you know you're not alone!!!
I'm very sorry for the loss of your baby and I'm glad you found us!
Hugs from Houston!!!
Dawna

lindsey2000k · #4 May 21st, 2011, 04:38 PM

I am so sorry. And yes being a mommy is all it's cracked up to be how dare she say that to you!

TnPhotoMama81 · #5 May 21st, 2011, 04:50 PM

your sister sounds like a wonderful mother *eyeroll*

you are not alone in your feelings

I am so sorry for your loss.

StaceygirlPa · #6 May 22nd, 2011, 05:25 AM

Welcome! I am sorry for you loss. I will tell you what you are feeling is totally normal. When we have a loss we go through so many emotions. The ladies on this board are amazing. Please feel free to vent whenever you want.

Jen71 · #7 May 22nd, 2011, 06:00 AM

Yep, I get what you're saying. Nope, not scared away at all.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I really hope that you find the support you need. This is a great place. My husband was very disconnected from my miscarriage too. It makes it hard. I think that people who "get it" are those that have gone through it. Others just can't understand, not because they are bad or thoughtless, it's just that people can't fully comprehend.

We are here for you.

.:Shortcake:. · #8 May 22nd, 2011, 06:09 AM

Please know that you are NOT alone. You have every right to feel angry, you lost your child. We are here for you to scream, rant, cry, whatever your needs may be we will support you. *HUGS*

missy123 · #9 May 22nd, 2011, 06:56 AM

Hi Samoy. I am so sorry for your loss ((Hugs)). Men and women think differently... The minute we see that + pregnancy test we bond with our child while men do not. I had 4 losses in 2.5 years and while my husband was very supportive, he admits that he did not feel like I did. His biggest scare was the depression I feel into with each loss.

Feel free to openly vent here... You are among friends and we understand.

EJsMommy · #10 May 22nd, 2011, 08:20 AM

Hi Samoy, I am so so sorry for your loss. You are welcome to post on this board about what you are feeling and we will be here to support you. My husband was supportive of me and emotional rollercoaster and he almost slipped into a depression due to our loss (2nd trimester) and I had to do a delivery. Again men and women think differently and feel about this differently.

outnumberedX3 · #11 May 22nd, 2011, 11:13 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss

. Sometimes people don't know what to say, so they end up saying the wrong thing and feelings get hurt. As for men, they aren't as attached to the baby as we are since they don't carry it.

I wish you much luck and baby dust when you start TTC again. HUGS!!

Samoy · #12 May 24th, 2011, 04:25 AM

Thank you ladies sooooo much! I thought I was going crazy, and I'm so glad that I am not, and that I'm Ok.

It feels good to not be alone anymore.

.:Shortcake:. · #13 May 24th, 2011, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samoy

Thank you ladies sooooo much! I thought I was going crazy, and I'm so glad that I am not, and that I'm Ok.

It feels good to not be alone anymore.

We are always here for you. No matter what!

JessP · #14 May 24th, 2011, 08:46 AM

You are always welcome to join Pregnancy Loss Pregnancy Loss - JustMommies Message Boards. It is a wonderfully supportive group. I am so sorry for your loss and that you are feeling so alone. Welcome to TTCAL. I am glad you found us.

Samoy · #15 May 24th, 2011, 10:23 AM

Jessie P

Thank you so much. In reading someone else post, I stumbled into Pregnancy Loss - Just mommies Message Boards.

I'm happy I'm here, as I don't feel all alone anymore. Thanks. HUGGS

Samoy · #16 May 31st, 2011, 12:16 PM

I was keeping a journal for Morgan to give on her 18th birthday. I said goodbye in it and put it in the back of my closet, along with her u/s's.

Last night after my husband and I made love I cried for her, with my back to her. I feel so empty inside. I miss my baby. I miss my baby.

My life seems incomplete without my pregnancy and growing baby. I'm trying to adjust without her. I've been reading other member's journal and found comfort in their success stories after a pregnancy loss. I thank God for this sight, but question why he took my child. Why he left me so empty inside.