[TGill]

I dont understand how some people can be so cruel and insensitive about the loss of a child. Its been 5 weeks since I MCed and I still get from people "I dont understand why you would be upset. You never saw the baby nor did you hold it. You should just get over it." Really?! Come on now!! I also have a coworker whos wife is pregnant. Her and I were only 3 weeks apart and he always makes it a point to show me ultrasound pictures. I just want to scream when he does that. I know he is excited but have some class and understand my feelings when your doing it. Just wanted to vent....again!

[owensmom]

I'm so sorry that people are being so insensitive. a loss is a loss - no matter if you saw the baby or not!

[melissalaw]

I am so sorry. I don't believe that a person can understand the pain or loss you feel unless they have been through it themselves. I probably would have to scream at them and tell them how insensitive they were being.

[*SamF*]

I'm sorry! People can be really insensitive, especially when they have never experienced it.

[.:Shortcake:.]

I'm so sorry! Most people unless they have been through what we have been through do not understand at all. But the moment you get that positive test you have hopes and dreams for your baby and your life.

[newmommysarah]

im having exactly the same issue - my sister in law is pregnant - we were just 8 days apart - and im really trying to act "normal" around her and be happy for her but everytime she mentions the pregnancy, her morning sickness, everytime she moans about how tired she is i just want to scream at her AT LEAST YOU STILL HAVE YOUR BABY. its horrible but i cant help it.
Then you have the not so helpful friends who cant seem to understand why im not my usual happy self. its as though everyone has forgotten and im going through this on my own.

[StaceygirlPa]

Sending you lots of hugs. I agree with the other ladies if they have never experienced it they don't know understand how we feel.

[EJsMommy]

I am so sorry, the insenstive comments only come from people that do not understand the depth of how much the experience of being pregnant and then losing the child effects you. Your hopes and dreams get shattered on what you were hoping that you would have but did not get. I sincerely hope that you also have people around that understands, can console and support you in what you are going through. Vent here when you have a need and there is always someone here to give you support, a "shoulder" to lean on and listen to you.

[luvmykids623]

I agree with the others, unless people have been through it themselves, they can be so insensitive. With this last loss I had one coworker who was due 2 days before me, one 2 days after me, and one two weeks after me. It was pure hell. If I were you I'd tell your coworker that you are happy for him, but he needs to ease off on showing you pics and talking to you about his wife's pregnancy. I would tell him that you will seek him out for info when you are having a stronger day, so that you won't be hurt by his news on a weaker day.

[Jen71]

I agree that you have to have gone through it to understand. It continues to amaze me how much the little things sting so much after my m/c. A coworker was going on and on about her friend who just had twins a week after my m/c. It hurt so much to hear about a woman I didn't even know having a successful pregnancy. At the time I thought my coworker was being so insensitive, after some time had passed, I realize that I am aching to have baby, and anyone mentioning anything about pregnancy makes my heart hurt. Thank goodness not everyone is walking around with this much hurt all the time. It reminds me that I too will not have this much hurt in me forever (at least I can hope.)

I wonder how many times I have thoughtlessly said something that has poked at someone else's broken heart. If there are any silver linings to all this, I figure my understanding of people's grief and issues is heightened.

Anyhow... I'm so thankful we have this place to vent about stuff like that. I'm so sorry you are dealing with these people. You absolutely should not "let it go" until you are good and ready in your own time.

[TGill]

Thank you ladies! You are all so amazing!!

[TnPhotoMama81]

yeah I really dislike people sometimes ... I am sorry that is so mean I cant believe someone would say such a thing.

[doremi]

I would definitely gently let your co-worker know that he needs to back off a bit. Sometimes people just don't realize how hurtful they're being. I'm so sorry!

[pepper73]

I had a hard time reading your post because I totally understand how you feel and it makes me so angry that people can be so insensitive. When you first get that BFP, you are instantly in love and bonded with that baby. People just don't get it. And the people who are constantly complaining about everything during their pregnancies drives me nuts. I have a friend like that and I can't even acknowledge it. It really does hurt.

[Twoboysmaybemore]

We all know it is not the same thing but maybe try giving the people a hypothetical to ponder. Tell them that they have been offered the job of their dreams, in the city they have always dreamed of living in, making 4 times as much money as they currently make. Tell them that that job has a lot of mandatory training but after that, they will be on their way! Then after a few weeks of training, the job offer is revoked and given to their best friend. Then the best friend comes back to them and tells them all about the fun training and all of the perks of the job. Now, wouldn't that suck?! It is kinda like that with a miscarriage.

Do you think "they" would get it?