[owensmom]

What was/is your dream for your family? You know - like when you were younger and dreaming of how you would meet the man of your dreams and live happily ever after in some house with a white picket fence!

How many kids did you want - any specific gender, spacing, or order?

What has changed? what do you want now? (besides the obvious happy healthy sicky bean) do you look back at what you wanted and laugh at how rediculous it was?

I used to dream of having 4 children spaced exactly two years apart. And there for a while I wanted to have 3 under 3.

now that my son is already two, that's never going to happen! I still want them closely spaced, but I'm not sure how many we will try for. I would like one more for sure....after that we'll see.

looking back i realize that I was a little delusional about how easy it would be to get pregnant and 3 under 3 would have been a HUGE challenge - well worth it, but I don't think I fully understood the challenges of having a baby before my son was born.

[kaylakay]

I've always wanted a big family 4-6 kids. I didn't really care about gender but I at least wanted boys and girls. I didn't want just one gender. I wanted them 2-4 years apart probably the first ones a little closer together. My husband and I when we were dating both wanted big families so when we got a BFP just days before our wedding we were estatic. But obviously lost that one a couple weeks later.

All in all now that I've had 3 pregnancies and non of them stayed I would be grateful to just have one biological child. I just want 1 and I'll adopt the rest...
So yeah things have changed a lot. Especially because if our first pregnancy stayed we would of had a baby in our arms just a couple weeks ago. It's really heartbreaking.

[melissalaw]

I always wanted to have 3 kids spaced about 2 1/2 years apart. We have a 22 month old and when I got pregnant in March that dream looked promising but then with the miscarriage in June it looks like it will hopefully be more like 3 years apart.

We plan on TTC our second beginning in August. Hopefully we will get our sticky bean quickly and it will stick with no more miscarriages. I'd still like to have 3 kids but I am so blessed to have my son.

Kayla, I'm praying that you get your sticky bean soon and no more miscarriages. I'm so sorry for your losses.

[kaylakay]

Originally Posted by melissalaw

I always wanted to have 3 kids spaced about 2 1/2 years apart. We have a 22 month old and when I got pregnant in March that dream looked promising but then with the miscarriage in June it looks like it will hopefully be more like 3 years apart.

We plan on TTC our second beginning in August. Hopefully we will get our sticky bean quickly and it will stick with no more miscarriages. I'd still like to have 3 kids but I am so blessed to have my son.

Kayla, I'm praying that you get your sticky bean soon and no more miscarriages. I'm so sorry for your losses.

Thank you so much. Really. I truly do appreciate all the prayers I can get.

[acchickpea]

I wanted to have my first baby at age 26....4 kids (2 boys and then 2 girls), at least 2 years spaced apart......
Truly making me depressed right now
I'm 32 with no sticky bean....... I'd be lucky to have at least one....

[JessP]

I think over the years (before having children) I changed my mind lots of times. I went through times where I didn't want any children. When I seriously started thinking about my family I always said I would do them in pairs. So 2, 4, 6 ect. I really liked the idea of a big family 4 or more. After my first DH was good with 1 . I convinced him to have a second and they were closely spaced. I liked that. I was good until he got to about 1 yo and then I really wanted another. When we got pregnant after my second was 2 I was like cool a little seperation and perhaps we could have two more closely spaced. Since my youngest at the time would be 3. DH was sure we were done . When we lost him I was devestated and it really changed how I looked at having kids. We tried again the next year and lost her too. We were done.... I was going to just have to be happy with my 2 and not want anymore kids. DH wasn't open to adoption. Well I will get to have three and honestly with all we have been through to get here I am content to have three . They still outnumber us haha. I have to say having a loss really changed how I viewed getting pregnant and having kids. If I didn't have problems I would keep asking for more but since pregnancy is more stressful now I won't be having more. So yes my dreams have changed but its ok.

[.:Shortcake:.]

How many kids did you want - any specific gender, spacing, or order?
I always wanted a big family at least 5 kids and probably more. It didn't matter spacing or anything like that
What has changed? what do you want now? (besides the obvious happy healthy sicky bean)
Now I would be happy with one healthy baby. I of course would continue to try but I would be satisfied with one.
do you look back at what you wanted and laugh at how rediculous it was?
It makes me sad to think that my dreams of having a large family have now dwindled to just wanting one child.

[StaceygirlPa]

I always wanted a big family. When I met Dh and he wanted a big family I thought we would be set. After having 3 losses I will be happy with 1 biological child.

[owensmom]

I'm sorry that I've caused so many bad feelings to come up to the surface with this post. That was not my intent. I am truely sorry.

[EJsMommy]

I wanted to have mixed children when I was younger and I did not set a number of how many. DH wants 2 children does not matter with gender. I want a boy just to break the string with girls for the rest of my side of the family. My DH is african american so I will certainly get the mixed child and the light brown complexion and curly hair. At age 38 I am hoping for 1 child and we are going to a fertility clinic on July 12 to see what can be done to help us get that.

[pepper73]

I always wanted 3 or 4 children. Usually, I wanted a mix of boys & girls. I went through a period of time when I wanted all girls (just because of the fun girly clothes and watching too many episodes of The Gilmore Girls). I had wanted to be a "young mom" but had no chances for a family until I married my ex-husband when I was 30. I thought I still had time for a decent sized family but then he dropped the bomb that he didn't know if he ever wanted kids. After our divorce, I actually contemplated going to a sperm bank. Now I am 37 and finally with a man who wants to have a child with me. I was so happy when I got pregnant but then devastated when I had my loss. I am too quickly approaching 38 and my dreams have changed in that I would be happy with one child. I really would like more, but I know that my chances are getting slimmer and slimmer. Owensmom, please don't apologize for starting this post. I think it's good for us to get it all out. When you go through a loss, your dreams do change. It's just another one of the harsh realities of a loss.

[queenofthecastle]

I always thought I would have 3 kids...now we are TTC #4...LOL Since I had my oldest, I've always seen myself with all boys. We will see what the last one ends up being!!

[jessjillmama]

I always wanted 2 children about 3 years apart. Which I actually had...but my first born had severe disabilities. That wasn't in my dreams of course. Then when my son died that sort of changed everything. We wanted more but didn't think we could handle more since Jakob had special needs. Plus its genetic. Then when he died I knew I could have more now. Of course the risk is still there. I want to have 2 more kids only spaced no more then 2 years apart. Will that happen I am not sure.

[doremi]

I always said I wanted two with room for an accident I used to think I wanted one of each, or two girls. Then I had my son... he is the joy of my life, and I LOVE being a mommy to a boy. So, I can honestly say that I will be happy with either gender for #2. After having a c/s with DS, and knowing I'm not a very good vbac candidate, that kind of nipped the idea of a possible third baby in the bud. As for spacing, I always thought I wanted my kids between 2 and 3 years apart. We started TTC when Josiah turned 2, and it took 8 months to get pregnant with our angel baby. Now, it is looking like our kids will be around 4 years apart (hopefully!), which is more space than I had wanted between them. But, my brother and I are 6.5 years apart and really close, so I am okay with the spacing thing.