6/18 FRER BFP pic edited into post 1

Erin84 · #1 June 17th, 2011, 06:58 AM

My Wondfo BFP looks the same as yesterday.

My FRER BFP looks the same as the one I took on 6/14.

I actually used two FRERs from two different batches and one even came back negative.

I know we shouldn't base our stuff off of HPT darkness or whatever but it's pretty hard to argue with a test coming back negative several days after a faint positive...

I don't think it's my time after all. We had told most of our family and some close friends (and my old DDC), but DH went and accidentally blabbed it on FB yesterday, so I did the same, so now everybody knows. ****. I have to work tonight, wait stupid tables. You think I'm going to want to smile at these people? And lord knows there's gonna be a **** ton of babies everywhere.

I think I'm out. Great. Now AF's just gonna take forever to start 'cause there's HCG in there. I don't have a lady doc, and even if I found one to take me in today and do betas, I'm leaving to go out of town Sunday and I don't think my insurance covers "routine" medical visits where I'm going. It's a different network I think, Tricare South instead of Tricare West.

I just want to crawl in a hole and die. There's still, like, 2% hope inside of me, but I'm very angry at that hope for existing and screwing with me. Stop hoping, stupid. I feel like **** today.

No idea what to do with DH. I guess not tell him? Don't take him on the rollercoaster? Wait and see if/when AF comes and just tell him then? I just don't know if I can handle this without him...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Update ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My number was 21. That's not a bad number. That COULD be a perfectly fine number. Run with me down my train of thought...

FRERs are advertised as sensitive as 25, but have been found to sometimes be as sensitive as 8, depending on the batch. Wondfo sensitivity is unknown. Early-pregnancy-test.com brand is sensitive to 10. My first day with a BFP I got a + on FRER and Wondfo and a - on EPT. (Not EPT like in stores, the EPT website...) So that might put my HCG at 8. Let's assume that # for now, because those BFPs were SO faint.

6/14 BFP assumed HCG = 8.
6/16 BFPs on everything, assumed sensitivity = 16 if my number doubled exactly.
6/17 HCG = 21. Which is right on track. It makes sense that it wouldn't be 24 because there are fewer cells to divide, so as more cells become present, they divide faster, so the number will be low until after the halfway mark. And would explain a BFP on Wondfo this morning and a BFN on a Frer, because they're not necessarily more sensitive than 25.

I'm still nervous, but more hopeful now... I'll be nervous until my follow-up Sunday morning. We're hoping for a minimum of 42. (Which some may know that 42 is the meaning of life, so that's a fun coincidence.)

I'm scared, but not feeling devastated like earlier. Between when they drew the blood and when they came back with results (which was 10 minutes shy of 2 hours) I actually felt really calm, like I was freaking out over nothing, that it's way too early to be able to rely on HPTs to be accurate enough to really gauge things. So yeah. That's where I am right now. Nervous, scared, hopeful, no longer devastated, but wouldn't be surprised if I am in a couple days.

Love you guys. Thanks again for playing along...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Update ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My HCG was 21 yesterday morning, so theoretically my HCG should probably be somewhere around 30 in these pictures

I'll take one more tomorrow before I go to the hospital, then I'll get my new number, and then I'm retiring the pee-sticks

lindsey2000k · #2 June 17th, 2011, 07:08 AM

I dont know if this helps or not... but this was my progesssion from last time... granted it was an ectopic but they look just like my last pregnancy... I will see if I can get a pick of that too.
I did not notice a change in about 4 days between each.

pepper73 · #3 June 17th, 2011, 07:09 AM

Oh Erin! Big hugs to you! Have you tried a digital? How concentrated was your urine when you got that neg? Did you get a positive after that? What about going to the ER & getting them to do bloodwork? Would your insurance cover that? Try to stay positive (easier said than done, I know). I think you should talk to your DH about it. You two are in this together and are there to support each other. You need him to lean on right now. You shouldn't feel like you need to take all of the burden on yourself. I think that if you let him know your concerns, you will feel better...just letting it out if that makes sense. Hang in there and know we are all here for you!!! I pray that it's just too early and your little bean sticks around!!

melissalaw · #4 June 17th, 2011, 07:15 AM

Erin I'm so sorry you are going through this. I agree with Sarah, I would talk to DH and let him know what's going on. You really need his support during this time. I would try a digital test and see what it says. I will be praying that it turns out you have good news. Sorry you have to work tonight. I know working when your going through all this is difficult.

Erin84 · #5 June 17th, 2011, 07:24 AM

I started crying and told him I had a bad dream last night. He believed me, but I started sobbing and breathing funny and he knew it was about the baby. So I told him.

Even if I go to the ER and get bloodwork done, what does that matter? Will they even do that, if I go in there and request bloodwork? That's not really an emergency, is it? Then do the same thing 48 hours later, like I don't have a doc or something? Which I don't... That just seems dumb. If I'm gonna ... then I'm gonna ... I don't want to say, but just fill in the blanks...

I'm freaking out right now.

lindsey2000k · #6 June 17th, 2011, 07:31 AM

I am so sorry Erin.
I totally know where you are coming from.
Do you have a family DR? I know mine will do HCG is I ask.

Erin84 · #7 June 17th, 2011, 07:34 AM

I have a sports medicine doctor, but they have to send off for lab results and it takes 2-3 BUSINESS days. I'm going down to the ER. I have diagnosed and untreated depression and anxiety disorder (because I only took one pill and then got my BFP and stopped) and to me, this IS an emergency. I'm just gonna fight to get what I need. Then if no AF, even if the lines are getting darker, I'll go back again 48 hours later, Sunday morning, to see if the #s are doubling.

lindsey2000k · #8 June 17th, 2011, 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erin84

I have a sports medicine doctor, but they have to send off for lab results and it takes 2-3 BUSINESS days. I'm going down to the ER. I have diagnosed and untreated depression and anxiety disorder (because I only took one pill and then got my BFP and stopped) and to me, this IS an emergency. I'm just gonna fight to get what I need. Then if no AF, even if the lines are getting darker, I'll go back again 48 hours later, Sunday morning, to see if the #s are doubling.

Good luck. I am so sorry you have to have this stress. You really diserve for this to go perfect.
I will be checking for updates.

momof6lopez · #9 June 17th, 2011, 08:04 AM

Praying and thinking about you Erin, I know how difficult this time is and wish to God it would go perfectly for you, Im so sorry for the stress.

pepper73 · #10 June 17th, 2011, 08:06 AM

Good luck to you Erin! I hope you get great numbers today and even better numbers in 2 days! Please keep us posted!

.:Shortcake:. · #11 June 17th, 2011, 08:24 AM

Good luck Erin! Please update us when you can. We love you and are here for you.

doremi · #12 June 17th, 2011, 08:37 AM

Good luck, Erin! I hope you get good news from the bloodwork. I'm glad you told your DH what was going on... regardless of how it turns out, you guys will want to know you got through it together.

LilHerndon · #13 June 17th, 2011, 08:45 AM

Erin, you can do this, keep your hope, you know the tests can be finicky and each one is different. You are still pregnant, tests are still coming back positive. I definitely think you should go to the ER and get some bloodwork done, and when you hear a doc say "yes you're pregnant, it's just very early" you will be able to relax a little bit better. Find someone to cover your shift tonight if you can, or maybe the work distraction will help you to not think about your fears.

Keep in mind hun that your pregnancy with Drew was perfect, there is no reason this one will be any different. Of course you will be scared, but try the best you can to stay calm, because more anxiety won't help right now. Give me a call later if you want to talk some, I work tonight too, but I'll be around til about 430 our time. Try to Stay Positive! This will all be sorted out soon. We all love you, and keep us updated. Good luck at the ER today.

StaceygirlPa · #14 June 17th, 2011, 08:48 AM

Erin, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I hope you can fine out some answers. Thinking of you.

missy123 · #15 June 17th, 2011, 08:57 AM

Huge Hugs Erin. We love you and are all praying for you. Keep us updated.

nala139 · #16 June 17th, 2011, 09:46 AM

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this anxiety. I so hope your numbers are good.

Erin84 · #17 June 17th, 2011, 12:08 PM

Update in first post <3

Micksbabe · #18 June 17th, 2011, 12:12 PM

I am glad that you are feeling better! This are great numbers and I am sure that everything is fine!!! I Wish they made a pack of twenty frer from the same batch so that you could compair

LilHerndon · #19 June 17th, 2011, 12:19 PM

That makes perfect sense. Now you need to take some time to relax, do something fun/entertaining to get your mind off of the worry, and anticipate even better news for sunday. I have everything crossed for you that numbers will be jumping with joy at you on sunday.