AF :( (Mini rant...sorry!)

pepper73 · #1 June 23rd, 2011, 12:46 PM

The witch showed her ugly face today.

I knew she was coming but it still didn't make it any easier. I was literally swearing at her when she showed. It always sucks when she shows up, but for some reason, it really hit me hard today. I have had worse than usual PMS anyway so my emotions have been heightened for the last few days. It just makes me so angry and I want to know why. Why is this not happening? Not just for me, but for all of us who go through this month after month. The hope and disappointment is the worst roller-coaster ride ever. We all need and deserve to get our BFP's. I went through a year of this disappointment already a few years ago. Now I'm in an even better place emotionally, with a wonderful man who supports me and wants this as much as I do. Why is this so hard? I think part of it too is the fact that I'm 37 so I have this nagging voice in my head saying "you'd better hurry...it's almost too late!" and that just makes me that much more desperate to have a child. I am so scared that my pregnancy that ended in loss was my last chance. I'm seriously considering having my doctor run some tests. I know that most won't do it until you've been TTC for 6 months to a year but I don't have time on my side.

I'm sorry for the rant but I know you all know exactly what I'm feeling. I love this board. The only other people I can vent to are my friends who are currently pg and I always get the "don't worry, it will happen if you just don't stress about it" and all that crap. You ladies are the best and have been such a wonderful support system for me!

*SamF* · #2 June 23rd, 2011, 12:51 PM

UGH Sorry AF showed!

I understand about the time running out thing, that always goes through my head- what if the last loss was my last chance..it sucks. Because of your age the doctor might consider testing now, can't hurt to ask! I was able to get a referral to the RE after my second loss, which was technically only about 6 months of trying, including the two losses- because I was 37.

melissalaw · #3 June 23rd, 2011, 01:03 PM

I am so sorry AF showed up. I would definitely call you doctor and set up an appointment. See what your option are and what test he can run to see why you are not getting pregnant.

.:Shortcake:. · #4 June 23rd, 2011, 01:08 PM

I'm sorry AF showed. It does get worse when she shows each and every month and you have to keep pushing forward. We love you and are here for you!

pepper73 · #5 June 23rd, 2011, 01:30 PM

Thank you ladies! I really don't know what I'd do without this board! I seriously appreciate each and every one of you! I think I will call my doctor and see what she can do. She's not an OB/GYN (but she does deliver babies so I was going to keep her when I get pg), but she is awesome and will listen to me and send me to someone else if she feels it would help.

Again, thank you for your support. You are all amazing women!

nala139 · #6 June 23rd, 2011, 07:11 PM

The 1st day of AF is always so hard for me too

. I hope that you can get a plan going with your doctor. It always makes me feel better to have a plan with my doctor, it makes me feel like I have a little bit of control in this whole process

TnPhotoMama81 · #7 June 23rd, 2011, 09:26 PM

I say definitely go for the testing...it might give you some piece of mind too...just knowing you have a "plan"...

*hugs*

StaceygirlPa · #8 June 24th, 2011, 04:07 AM

Sorry the witch showed her head. I agree with the other ladies about calling your doctor. Maybe she can run some test. By the way it is important to have a doctor that understands you and listens to you.