Im bitter...

.:fearless:. · #1 July 11th, 2011, 01:17 PM

I am SO bitter! Is this a farily normal emotion going thru this?! I can't stand it, I am normally not a bitter person and not a judgemental person, but the last couple of days I have been. I went out with Mike Saturday (the day the bleeding started) to the parts store and I seen a young pregnant couple. I got so bitter. Thru my head things like "oh you can't possibly want this child as much as I wanted mine, I deserve a child more than you". That is NOT me! I don't think like that at all. My previous 3 children were unplanned so I know very darn well that you love that child just as much. I wish I didn't feel so bitter, it makes my heart even sadder

sandiegomom · #2 July 11th, 2011, 01:34 PM

I think it is a pretty normal reaction to feel that way. Don't beat yourself up over it. When we are grieving we can have very different thoughts than we would at other times in our lives. hugs!!! I think most of us have been probably been guilty of thinking along those lines during such a difficult time.

melissalaw · #3 July 11th, 2011, 01:37 PM

I went through all kinds of emotions. From being jealous of my pregnant friends to being said to being angry. don't feel bad about your feelings. What you are going through is such a terrible loss that many kinds of emotions are expected. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I wish none of us had to have this kind of loss in our lives.

mmllhh · #4 July 11th, 2011, 01:59 PM

100% normal.

3Sapphires · #5 July 11th, 2011, 02:02 PM

I hope it is normal, I went through so many different emotions, I still struggle with jealousy.

Jessido · #6 July 11th, 2011, 02:14 PM

That's very normal although its very sad and I hated feeling those feelings too. Even as I try to work through it and stay positive, those thoughts creep in and just make me really upset. I'm sorry youre going thru this.

LindseyE117 · #7 July 11th, 2011, 02:19 PM

Thoughts like that drove me nuts for a few months after my miscarriage. I put on the most happy face for everyone around me, while deep down inside I was in so much pain and so jealous of those who were having children or getting pregnant around me. I still struggle with seeing those pregnant around me, especially because of everything my husband and I are going through to have a child together. It hurts, your feelings are normal. It really is not fair that anyone should go through what all of us have gone through. Time will make it better.

(Calebs_Momma) · #8 July 11th, 2011, 02:27 PM

It's normal

. I know what you mean. I've never ever been like that with anything but pregnancy. It's hard when you want something more than anything and it seems everyone else can get it even when they don't "deserve" it.

doremi · #9 July 11th, 2011, 02:27 PM

I never felt bitter, but I definitely feel jealous of those who I see with sweet newborns. I want #2 so very badly. What you're feeling is totally normal. Everybody handles loss differently, and the best thing is to just acknowledge whatever feelings come so that you can keep pushing through this, moving to a happier place.

TnPhotoMama81 · #10 July 11th, 2011, 02:59 PM

very normal...I struggle with Jealousy a lot

kaylakay · #11 July 11th, 2011, 03:05 PM

One hundred percent normal sweetie.

I feel the same way sometimes... Losses really make it hard to be happy for someone else... Or think "people like THAT have a baby and I don't?" it's what comes with TTCAL.

I'm so sorry.

luvmykids623 · #12 July 11th, 2011, 03:10 PM

Totally normal! I was consumed with bitterness and jealousy after each of my losses for a while. I still feel it sometimes.

.:Shortcake:. · #13 July 11th, 2011, 04:38 PM

It's 100% normal. You are grieving the loss of your unborn baby, the plans you made with that child. I can tell you that you will never get over this but things will get easier to deal with day by day.

Twoboysmaybemore · #14 July 11th, 2011, 04:56 PM

It is hard especially when the wounds are so new. I still have pangs of bitterness and jealousy that strike when I see a round belly or hear of a pregnancy of someone that I, for whatever reason, feel like they don't deserve as much as me. But it passes. You will find that some days are better than others. Sending you a ton of hugs. I am so very sorry for your loss.

This might help too. It is a post I wrote called The Miscarriage and Infertility Phenomenon.

outnumberedX3 · #15 July 11th, 2011, 07:11 PM

I'm sorry that your feeling bitter. I'm still feeling like that and my m/c was 2 months ago. It's SO hard to get past a m/c and there are so many emotions that go into them. Don't feel bad hon!!

missy123 · #16 July 11th, 2011, 07:59 PM

Totally normal... I still feel bitter at times. Like why me? Why did I have to suffer through so much pain, heartbreak, and anguish?

JessP · #17 July 11th, 2011, 08:25 PM

Totally normal. Every pregnant woman smoking I would want to punch them. I wanted to scream at parents smoking with their kids (the smoking one bugged me lots) and be like why do you deserve one. I did everything right and lost mine and you can stand here and poison yours and go on to have that child. GAH!! So unfair

You are not alone, in fact in good company here. Why does my meth addicted cousin and his meth addicted girlfriend get to have child after child addicted to meth weighing one pound while I lose mine? Why does my mom have to tell me

? Sorry hyjacked your thread. You are 100% normal sweetie.

LilHerndon · #18 July 11th, 2011, 09:04 PM

I definitely understand where you're coming from, I still get my bitter moments a lot, and I had my ectopic 2 months ago. Seems like everywhere I go there is an immensely pregnant woman or a newborn...just gets so frustrating sometimes. It didn't help that at the restaurant I serve tables at, 6 weeks after my ectopic I had to serve a baby shower party...I about broke down. Once some time goes by I've found it's easier to think positive thoughts about ttc, and become a bit less bitter about people that are pregnant around you. So sorry to hear about your loss, I hope you feel more like yourself soon. <3

StaceygirlPa · #19 July 12th, 2011, 04:21 AM

What you are feeling is normal. In my old job there was a women who was expecting the same time I was in October. This was going to be 4th baby. She hates being pregnant. I just wanted to punch her and say don't you know how lucky you are to be able to have 4 kids.

acchickpea · #20 July 12th, 2011, 07:40 AM

I read your post and it's a post that I would have written myself. Completely me and I'm sure like most of the ladies on this board. It hurts more that my SIL announced her pregnancy two weeks after my loss. It stares me in the face everytime I visit them. So bitter but getting better through time. I look to the positive and take it day by day now. Knowing that I may Ovulate this month truly helps and gives me hope.....
You will get there.....