[BeckyBozeman]

Hi Ladies,

It's still early, and I know my body has some healing to do, but DB and I talked about getting pregnant again last night. He's really worried about me right now, but I'm feeling an unbelievable sense of urgency. What we've agreed is to give it a couple of months and let my body recuperate and then we'll think about trying. I'm hoping that by September we'll both feel ready. And that my cycle will regulate quickly.

I'm wondering if anyone knows of any really good resources as far as preparing for this second go - physically and emotionally. I want to do everything I possibly can to try and make this one stick. I may be looking for something that doesn't exist, I know. There are a lot of common sense types of things... eat well, exercise a lot, etc. I guess I'm just looking for those extra little things that might help me feel like I can actually do something to control the outcome.

Can you tell I'm a little bit of a control freak??

[melissalaw]

I don't think there is anything that you can really do to control the pregnancy. It was nothing you did wrong to cause your first loss. That was the hardest thing for me to get through my head after my loss. I kept asking my doctor questions about what to do differently next time and he told me to just do the same thing as before, take my prenatals, exercise, get enough sleep and eat well.

I just bought this book Taking Charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler which Katie recommended. It really helps with figure out your body and your cycles to help conceive. Good Luck when you do start trying and I hope you get your sweet rainbow baby!!

[BeckyBozeman]

Thanks Melissa...

It's funny, I keep almost wishing that it WAS something that I did. At least then I'd know what it was and be able to avoid it the second time. And I'm a little scared because I've never tried to get pregnant. It happened when we were preventing so I'm hoping that means that I won't have any problems if I'm trying, but who knows?

Part of me wants to start trying right now...

[melissalaw]

I completely understand. And yes it would be wonderful if we could pinpoint the reason for the loss so we could change it next time to ensure that it didn't happen again. My DS was conceived while we are preventing and when we started trying for this last one it only took 2 cycles so hopefully when you start trying it will be very easy for you.

I wanted to start trying immediately after my D & C but since the doctor said to wait until after AF arrived my husband wouldn't even considered it. So here I am waiting for AF to arrive so we can get started. For me anyway, the trying to conceive another one helps with the pain of the loss.

And yes I am sure once we get our BFP again we will be filled with fear of another loss. I'm so looking foward to that BFP but dreading that fear.

[BeckyBozeman]

Yeah my DB is the one that wants us to wait too. I think that the fear is effecting him more than me right now. I told him last night that if someone came to me and said that I had to go through this 2, 3, 4 more times in order to get a baby then I would say okay without hesitation. It hurts, it sucks, I'm angry... but I want a baby more than anything else in the world. I can wait a little bit if that's what he needs to feel ready... but not too long.

And I dread the fear too... I look back on the past few months and the pregnancy was never "real" to me. I planned, I was excited, I couldn't wait to meet this little person. But even after hearing the heartbeat I don't think I ever quite believed that it was happening. And now I wonder if I just knew on some level that there was something wrong. And I'm really afraid that the fear will make me distance myself when I shouldn't....

So many emotions... this is all too raw and new for me to be rational in any way. Another reason that I'm willing to give DB the lead and wait a bit...