I'm Nervous

sweet.hun · #1 July 17th, 2011, 07:49 PM

As of Wednesday, I'll finally be TTC (Jesse is intransit home). And I'm scared, nervous, anxious, etc etc. I'm mostly nervous. I haven't been with my husband in 6 months. Last time he came back from deployment, it HURT when we finally got to be together and it made me not want to be intimate with him what so ever. Even on our honeymoon we barely did anything because of me (which I felt horrible about). Not only physically,but emotionally. I felt like when he came home, the only thing he wanted was sex (DUH) but when I had AF, it hurt, and he didn't care...it made it horrible for me.

I'm just so scared that it's going to be like last time.

doremi · #2 July 17th, 2011, 10:56 PM

Oh hun, that must be really hard! When we're intimate with someone, it makes us feel so vulnerable, and to feel like they are somehow not caring about how you feel must be just awful! Have you ever talked with your doctor about how much it hurts? I only ask because a friend of mine actually ended up needing a surgical procedure to be able to enjoy dtd with her husband. It turned out she had an extremely small opening down there. Just try to get him to go slow, use lots of lube, and take hot baths afterward... that really helped me a lot on my honeymoon

Good luck, and I hope the reunion is a happy one, and that you get BFP news in the near future!

sweet.hun · #3 July 17th, 2011, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doremi

Oh hun, that must be really hard! When we're intimate with someone, it makes us feel so vulnerable, and to feel like they are somehow not caring about how you feel must be just awful! Have you ever talked with your doctor about how much it hurts? I only ask because a friend of mine actually ended up needing a surgical procedure to be able to enjoy dtd with her husband. It turned out she had an extremely small opening down there. Just try to get him to go slow, use lots of lube, and take hot baths afterward... that really helped me a lot on my honeymoon

Good luck, and I hope the reunion is a happy one, and that you get BFP news in the near future!

After a while it didn't hurt anymore (and that's how I got pregnant in January, LOL). It's just that initial few (ok a lot) times that really really hurts.

.:Shortcake:. · #4 July 18th, 2011, 04:26 AM

((HUGS)) I'm sorry that it hurts! DH has to TMI warm me up before we DTD or it is super painful for me. Try lots of foreplay and lube before DTD and see if that helps.

LindseyE117 · #5 July 18th, 2011, 04:46 AM

If it hurt a lot, then I would definately see a doctor. There may be something wrong. I agree with the other ladies though, use lube (if you are dry then it will hurt badly), and foreplay always gets me started too. The more we tease each other, the more we get rared up and ready to go. The more you hold back, the better it feels.

AMiner86 · #6 July 18th, 2011, 05:09 AM

That has happened with us too. When we have gone without DTD for long periods of time, not as long as 6 months (I think the most was 3-4 months) it really hurts the first few times (the first time usually takes me back to how I felt when I lost my virginity!). I always talk to him before we even start to fool around and let him know to take it slow and easy and that I need a lot more attention beforehand. For us, that always works and we never need to use lube.

If you do need to use lube, I've heard that a lot of lubes actually kill sperm and Pre-seed is the best way to go. I've also heard that Robotussin is a good way to get a good amount of CM. I'm not going to swear by either of these because, I've never used either one, but it's just something that's come up in a lot of my TTC searches online.

Good luck! Hope your reunion goes well!

acchickpea · #7 July 18th, 2011, 05:46 AM

Hopefully he can be gentle and caring of your feelings... Hope that when you both reconnect it would be like fireworks and you can have a sticky bean....

StaceygirlPa · #8 July 18th, 2011, 06:15 AM

I agree witht he other ladies. If dh and I go a period without dtd it huts me to dtd. If we have a lot of foreplay before hand it seems to help. Good luck with your reunion.

pepper73 · #9 July 18th, 2011, 07:37 AM

I totally agree with the others, and would also recommend Pre-Seed over any other lube since it is sperm friendly. Just a word of caution...you only need a tiny amount! I really hope your reunion with your DH is wonderful and that you two have an easy transition reconnecting emotionally and physically. I totally understand how you feel when it seems like they only want sex. Women need romance too and when you have been apart for so long, you need that emotional connection.

mom2moose · #10 July 18th, 2011, 08:07 AM

I agree with trying lube, but perhaps is more your nerves than anything physical?? When my first husband got sick, we didn't do it for a few months. Then we decided to do it again, and I was SO nervous!! It was like I was sleeping with a different man because it had been so long. So for like a month, it hurt. I was dry, yes. But I think my nervousness and almost shyness made things worse. Just focus on how glad you are to have him home with you, and less focus on the TTC and the (possibly) painful sex. Good luck! I hope you get pregnant fast and that your reunion is a special one!!!!!

melissalaw · #11 July 18th, 2011, 09:27 AM

I agree with the other other ladies. Pre-Seed lubricant seems to work great for us. Just tell DH to take it slow and lots of foreplay. I hope you guys can reconnect and get your BFP quickly.

sweet.hun · #12 July 18th, 2011, 10:28 AM

Thanks everyone. We do have some Pre-Seed left, so I'll make sure we use that along with having him "take it easy". I'm actually getting excited now. Only 2 more days! I couldn't sleep at all last night. LOL!