[acchickpea]

My husband and I (I can't even stomach using "DH" cause right now he's anything but "Darling")
had a littlle tiff last night. All over the silliest thing. I was asking too many questions about a show he was watching in the History channel (yawn). He was watching some extraterestrial aliens and how they came to be and I must have annoyed him big time because he switched the channel to my "Real Houswives" and went to the basement to watch his show.... He was so defensive and all I was doing was questioning the plot of the show!!!!
Well..... to get to the point... we went to bed not talking... woke this morning with a strange vibe in the room and still hardly ever talking except that he said that he would walk our dog....

We were supposed to do the BD this morning in order to cover our basis (BD every other day because I apparently "O"ed for one day (based on the digi)

GUESS WHAT HE SAID??????????
".... No... I don't want to...." .... I'm like "what do you mean you don't want to?" and he said that he just can't......
That's just wrong!!!! I got turned down........ Honestly... Why do we need men?

Ohhhh that's right... for their little men........ ugh........

If this keeps up I should as well skip this cycle and wait for the next.. if there ever is going to be a next....... Men just don't understand the things we go through...... I can really go on and on......

[luvmykids623]

I'm sorry he threw a hissy fit. Ugh!

[pepper73]

Oh geez! I'm so sorry! Men can be so impossible sometimes. I swear they get PMS...and worse than us! I hope that he gets over it so that you and he can BD later.

[acchickpea]

Originally Posted by pepper73

Oh geez! I'm so sorry! Men can be so impossible sometimes. I swear they get PMS...and worse than us! I hope that he gets over it so that you and he can BD later.

I Could not have said it any better!!!!! MAN PMS!!!!!!!!

[Shadeauxe]

I don't much care to have sex with my husband either when I am mad at him. I don't see the illogic in this.

Generally when people get upset over something minor, there is something bigger going on. I doubt that this whole issue was simply about the TV.

I understand that it's frustrating and while it's true that your husband may not understand what you are going through (I refuse to generalize ALL men and women), it's also true that you do not understand what he is going through either.

Don't judge. Don't assume. Communicate.

[*SamF*]

Hope he gets over it so you can get some BDing in today! It's funny, when they are single it's all about sex, men are the ones who supposedly can separate emotion from sex, but when it comes to TTC they become so whiny about it.

[acchickpea]

Originally Posted by Shadeauxe

I don't much care to have sex with my husband either when I am mad at him. I don't see the illogic in this.

Generally when people get upset over something minor, there is something bigger going on. I doubt that this whole issue was simply about the TV.

I understand that it's frustrating and while it's true that your husband may not understand what you are going through (I refuse to generalize ALL men and women), it's also true that you do not understand what he is going through either.

Don't judge. Don't assume. Communicate.

To tell the truth... I really didn't want to do the BD this morning either... He really got under my skin... I just wanted to get the "little men" swimming for that possible chance that I would see the "BFP" down the line..... I was so stuck on a schedule of BDing every other day that we just sucked the romance out of it.

[acchickpea]

Soooooooooo.... my DH just let me know how he really felt..... He said that he just feels pressured and he's just not that excited anymore.... I wasn't like a drill sargent or one that keeps to the books... I just wanted to make sure that I covered all possibilites for catching the eggies....
He said to go with the flow and that I shouldn't feel the need to catch up. I admit... I feel like I'm falling behind with no babies still...... We've been trying for almost 3 years now...
I think "going with the flow" just isn't going to work in the future......

[-hopeful-]

our relationship was the same way before we seeked ma. i was the drill sergeant when it came to BD and let me tell you neither one of us was "into" it and it was NOT romantic. it was horrible!! i finally had to cool it because we were constantly fighting. although we are doing IVF we BD when we feel like it. DH said to me yesterday lets try the old fashioned way for a while and i told him its only this month because i have to get on BCP next month to start the sept IVF. he literally said "i'm ready for you to pressure me to have sex everyday" lol.

[lindsey2000k]

I'm sorry you guys are not getting along so well.
I have seen a pattern with that on this board. What other ladies have done is not tell Dh when they are close to ovulation and they just jump on them and that seems to make them think they are getting a treat with out the stress on them....lol

My husband get cranky during my 2ww and says I dont love him anymore..lol. I'm so sick of DTD by this time I just want to be left alone.

[nala139]

My DH and I have gone through this many times in the last year and a half. It SUCKS!! Last month I was so upset because I didn't feel like I always had to be the one to initiate it and I didn't want to get turned down anymore, I really just felt like it would be easier to do IUIs instead of bding. Its like I feel like every other part of our relationship is perfect except for this one issue. Talking to others who have been through this stuff, I think it's pretty common. I hope things get better for you and your hubby.

[.:Shortcake:.]

DH and I have also been through this. Sometimes you need to take a step back and make sure your putting your relationship first and not TTC. I know it's hard but what's the point in bringing a child into this world with someone your going to be fighting with 24/7. TTCAL takes a toll on a relationship and it takes work to keep you together. ((HUGS))

[joanna26]

I'm sorry sweetie. TTC is tough on everyone, men included, and like prior posters mentioned I think it is fairly common for the men to feel more stress/pressure to perform than they let on. Big HUGS!

[melissalaw]

Originally Posted by lindsey2000k

What other ladies have done is not tell Dh when they are close to ovulation and they just jump on them and that seems to make them think they are getting a treat with out the stress on them....lol

That's what we try to do. I don't let him know when O is soon, I just jump him and he's fine with that.

Hope you guys can work it out and get in some BDing.

[terajet]

We also went through this as well and decided together that we would work on our relationship and not focus so much on TTC. Well after 5 years of trying we finally got our BFP....twice. Unfortunately we lost both babies at 10 weeks but at least now we know that we can get pg.

Maybe try it for a few months and see how it goes. It definitely made things more exciting for us!!!!

[StaceygirlPa]

DH and I also went through this. After our last loss he said he didn't want to try anymore. He said I get to upset. Although he also said he loves me for me and wants me to be happy. Since we had that talk I don't let Dh know when I am O'ing. I just jump him and it has seem to be working. This way he doesn't seem pressured. I hope you and your Dh can work things out.

[ttcivfma]

I agree with the other ladies. It does seem that he is pressured with the TTC journey too. Believe me with over 7 years of TTC it takes a toll. But dont tell him when you are Oing. Just take it as easy as possible. I know it is hard but maybe just not even test yourself. Try taking a little of the pressure off. I want to start TTC already but we have decided to just let things be for a while. We have two frozen embryos but even IVF is stressful. I hope it works out and he is ok later tonight!