[ttcivfma]

So the last few days all I have done is argue with my DBF. The stress of the miscarriage on top of life is sooooo overwhelming. Today I found I had milk coming out of my nipples. Never happened before. I feel so ugly and that God doesnt want me to have a baby. I feel so depressed and wondering what I am going to do with my life. On top of all the stress, DBF is not sure that he wants to do this again anytime soon. I feel so horrible. I just needed to vent.

[3Sapphires]

I am so sorry

DH and I fought for months after our m/c, nasty dirty below the belt fights. I was in tears most nights because of us fighting.

We finally managed to get it all on the table and we started taking, he was so scared, and upset, and felt he needed to hide it so that I didn't see it.And I hadn't realized just how much the m/c shook him.

He was also hesitant about ttc again, but he knows how much it means to me.

I hope you can get to the bottom of what your BF is feeling..

[Mom.to.PinknBlue]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Its not easy for anyone involved. My DH and I were at each others throats after the m/c. We are having a difficult time financially and with my ILs (we live with them), and then this happened at just kind of snowballed. I hope things settle down soon and you both can have a calm conversation about how you are both feeling. And I know that is easier said then done. Did your SO say why he doesn't want to TTC again anytime soon? Maybe he is afraid of another loss and seeing you upset again..
(((hugs))) I wish I had better words for you my dear.

[doremi]

I'm really sorry you're having such a rough time right now. I think it is hardest when you feel like your body is still messed up from the m/c. I know for me, it was easier to get to a good place once I felt like my body was back to "normal". Try not to stress about the TTC stuff... give yourself and your DB time to work through the emotions you are feeling, and I'm sure in time you will both feel like you are strong enough to TTC again.

[Banned-elly03]

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope things get better for you soon. It can be very hard after a loss, and I hope you are able to find some peace soon!

[luvmykids623]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. DH and I were at each other's throats after each of my losses, and sometimes when it gets close to EDDs or angelversaries... or just when the stress of it all gets to be too much. It's completely normal, but it's so miserable. Chances are the reason he's not sure if he wants to do this any time soon is because he sees how badly you're hurting. When you're ready to try again I would sit down with him and tell him how much trying means to your healing. Until then, I hope things get better soon. It is definitely a rough road, and I wish you didn't have to go down it.

[Blue_fire]

My hubby and I don't fight about much, but I sure have been making an *** of myself. It's like I needle and needle him, and i can't stop. He's so patient, and I'm not sure why he even puts up with me....
I know what your talking about the milk, it makes me sad to see that too.

[.:Shortcake:.]

((HUGS)) DH and I fought many times after most of our losses but eventually I figured out that his way of grieving was to get angry. After we sat down and talked we both felt alot better. Sometimes telling him you know how hard this is for him too helps. I'm sorry your going through this.

[ttcivfma]

Thanks so much ladies. We are due to move in two weeks and that is stress. And money to get everything stress. And DBF job is just not giving him hours. and I am starting new jobs next week. Then the miscarriage. I think he is afraid of a lot of things but at the same time wants me to be happy. So it is a catch 22. I feel horrible. I just cant stop feeling sorry for myself and that doesnt help anyone. I just want to cry and scream and fighting with him is not helping at all. But I cant stop becuase I want to feel sorry for myself but DBF doesnt want me to stew about it. He doesnt know what to do when I am in pain so we argue. It is a vicious cycle that I just want out of.

[LindseyE117]

Stephanie I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I am so sorry for everything you have been through. I knew you were so excited about the pregnancy and it is just not fair at all. I know the pain you are feeling, all the ladies on here do. It is a great place to vent, cry, get angry, get depressed, and just let it all out.

[ttcivfma]

Thanks Lindsey. I am just not sure where to go from here. Plus I started leaking and had to change my shirt. It is like a reminder of what could have been.

[StaceygirlPa]

Dh and I have argued a lot after our losses. He said he couldn't understand how attached I got to the baby already. At one point Dh said he didn't want to try again which really upset. He was worried how upset I get when we had a loss. He said he hates to see me upset. He just wants to see me happy. We finally sat down and talked. During that talk we were able to get our feelings out. TTC is hard on everyone.

[pepper73]

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this! Everything you are going through is hard enough to deal with one at a time, but when everything piles up, things can definitely get unbearable. I agree with the others that he is probably scared because he knows how much it would hurt you if you have another loss (and it would hurt him too). I'm sure he feels an instinct to protect you and this is one situation that he can't protect you from. I really hope the two of you are able to sit down and talk it out. I know a lot of times, writing it all down helps. If nothing else, it would help you sort through your emotions and help your grieving. We are all here for you and I really hope things get better for you soon!

[joanna26]

Like the other ladies have said I think everything you are feeling/going through is totally normal - which doesn't stop it from really sucking I know. For us, I know that DH had a very tough time after our m/c, both dealing with the loss and trying to figure out how to help me/what to do with me. Frankly normally I am the strong one (emotionally) in our relationship, and to see me come apart and shut down (which I had to do to survive) was really hard for him. Adding all the other stressors that you two have going on would make anyone crazy!

Just try to take it day by day sweetie. And remember that we are always here to vent to.

[nlyates]

i can completely relate... while DH and I aren't arguing... i can't stop crying... i'm so angry at myself... at my body... even at God... why would he give us something we've been trying for 2 years (well, it will be 2 years on August 28th) to get... then take it away so quickly? I only found out i was pregnant on Sunday July 24th... and by Thursday, July 27th, I miscarried... i was 6wks and 4d when it happened. I can't stop asking why.... i've turned to the bible.. while i understand that God gave up his Son for us... he had his son for 33 years... i had my baby for 6 weeks... i didn't even get to meet him/her... i'm just so so angry... i can't sleep either... everytime i go to sleep, i wake up in tears... i relive the nightmare of thursday's trip to the ER over and over again... i even relive it when im awake and not keeping myself busy... it's rough. and to top it all off... my lovely in-laws are the holy roller type of Christians...fire and brimstone type... and my FIL had the nerve to pray for my baby's soul.... i KNOW where my baby is... he/she is in heaven... being rocked by my grandmother... (she was well known baby hog) My baby's soul doesn't need prayed for... my sanity needs prayed for... i just dont want to cry anymore... and i dont want to be angry..... 8/