Therapy....

Cartersmommy08 · #1 August 1st, 2011, 04:39 PM

So it's come to this

First appointment scheduled for Thursday. I don't know how I feel about it. Anyone in here go? What's it like? Does it help you process the loss easier? Harder?

EJsMommy · #2 August 1st, 2011, 04:45 PM

I went to therapy for another reason when I was in my early twenties and it helped me with my issues then. I did not go to therapy for the loss of our baby but I am sure that a neutral person (therapist) can help you by talking it out and show your emotions even if it feels awkward at first. Are you going alone or is your significant other going with you?

pepper73 · #3 August 1st, 2011, 04:56 PM

I have also gone to therapy before but not for my loss. I found it to be an amazing experience. One important thing to keep in mind is that it is not a quick process. It takes time and sometimes you may feel that it isn't working. Then one day, you will wake up and realize that there is a spring in your step that hadn't been there in a long time..or you laugh (really laugh) for the first time in months...things like that. It's really hard to explain but I hope I've given you some idea. Another important thing (VERY IMPORTANT) is that if you don't feel completely comfortable with your therapist, then find a different one. You really need to have a good rapport with your therapist. He/she needs to be someone you feel comfortable telling absolutely everything to...because therapy will not be effective if you aren't completely honest with your doctor. It makes a huge difference! And don't feel guilty if you do need to switch. Doctors understand that it isn't always a perfect match.

Cartersmommy08 · #4 August 1st, 2011, 05:00 PM

Thanks ladies. It's not just the loss, but work and other things. They all kind of snowballed. I haven't really slept in weeks and I just know I'm not myself. I feel isolated and withdrawn. I've never been through something this traumatic before. I know a lot of people get help through therapy but part of me just feels it's another "failure." Hopefully it will help. I appreciate everyone's input!

BeckyBozeman · #5 August 1st, 2011, 05:45 PM

I haven't been to therapy per se... but I have joined a support group for those that are dealing with pregnancy loss. It really helps to be able to talk and cry with a group of people that understand what I'm going through.

.:Shortcake:. · #6 August 1st, 2011, 05:46 PM

I haven't. I deal better with writing out my feelings. Getting things out talking to a stranger doesn't help me but it does for a lot of people. ((HUGS)) I hope it helps you. Please know we are here too if you want to talk.

doremi · #7 August 1st, 2011, 11:19 PM

I haven't been to therapy, but am considering going for some grief counseling at some point to process my Dad's death (it was really traumatic for me). My DH is trained as a marriage and family therapist, and we are both firm believers in seeking therapy when needed and NOT being ashamed of it! I totally agree with the pp who said that it is really important that you find a therapist you feel entirely comfortable with, and to not be afraid to shop around if the first isn't a good fit for you. I think it is admirable that you are taking the step to get help since you don't feel like yourself. I hope the therapy helps get you to a good place.

JessP · #8 August 1st, 2011, 11:27 PM

I went after my second loss. Between work, home and a second loss I just needed a little help. I had been before so I knew the drill. I found it to be very helpful. It helped me to feel ok with what I was feeling. That it was ok to be sad and ok to mourn in my own way. I found it to help me move forward and gave me some coping tools. I also started running at the same time and that helped to work out some of my anger as well. I had a lot of anger with my losses. I hope it helps you.

JessP · #9 August 1st, 2011, 11:34 PM

I also did retail therapy after my first loss

. I bought a new truck or DH bought me one. My Therapist said there was nothing wrong with that

.

StaceygirlPa · #10 August 2nd, 2011, 03:50 AM

I went to Therapy when I was younger to help me deal with what I was going through at the time. After my mom's death I thought about going to therapy to help me deal with her death. I am lucky that Dh knows what I am going through since he lost his dad. Dh and I have talked and said that if the time ever comes to it we would go to therapy together if we needed it. I hope it helps you.

jessjillmama · #11 August 2nd, 2011, 07:22 AM

I haven't gone to therapy for a miscarriage but I have gone before I lost my son and after I lost my son. I went for a total of about a year and a half. I would say it has changed my life. I had a lot of issues from my childhood (and still do) that I needed to deal with. Its taking me years to fix myself but its working.

When I went to therapy I didn't feel like it was helping at all but I still kept going. Now that I am no longer going I realize it did help even though I didn't realize it at the time.

I hope that is what you need to help you. Big hugs to you.

cheeky_monkey · #12 August 2nd, 2011, 11:58 AM

I started going for therapy since we got to know that our baby had died. I can say that it has helped both of us a lot as it was the only time were we managed to actually talk about what we were feeling (DH is not a very talkative guy when it comes to feelings). At times I have to admit that I do find it frustrating as she does not seem to get it how much it means to me to get preg, but on the whole I don't regret it. In that office I found 4 walls I felt comfortable crying and letting it all out (feelings wise)

Good luck! Hope that it will help you to slowly start to feel a bit better xxx hugs