Ever feel like

*SamF* · #1 August 8th, 2011, 06:26 PM

That girl at the school dance that never gets asked to dance?

I'm very happy for all the girls that get their sticky BFP's but sometimes it feels like it will never happen again for me. It's been over a year of TTC this time with three more losses. If I do manage to get pregnant this month I would be due in May which is when Spud was due, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Also this will be our last cycle of TTCMA this year. If it doesn't work we will have to wait till January to try again.

.:Shortcake:. · #2 August 8th, 2011, 06:31 PM

All the time... It's hard being a veteran.

Sam it will be our turn... it sucks that it hasn't happened yet but it will. Love you hun and I'm here anytime you need to talk.

missy123 · #3 August 8th, 2011, 06:31 PM

Yup... I felt that way for 2 years. I was honestly so happy to go on and watch everyone graduate and have their babies but there was still a stinging feeling like "WILL it ever be my turn"? ((Hugs))

kaylakay · #4 August 8th, 2011, 07:22 PM

I feel like that so much.... I feel like I'm going to be the one that ends up with no kids at all just miscarriages... I fear I will never be one of the lucky ones :/ I may just be a pessimist but I sometimes I believe I truly will never be lucky. Ever. :/

Celena · #5 August 8th, 2011, 08:13 PM

YES
YES
YES

Sam my heart goes out to you

you've always been a kind, sweet, supportive sister here to me and many. I'd love to see you go on and gradute forever from here! Never to be back again! Please don't lose faith and hope and your dream... because it will come true for you I just know it in my heart

You're more than deserving sweetie.

On the flip side...

I definitely have and do feel that way.... a veteran as well, been here at TTCAL for over 2 years and trying for, well, since that date in my sig. It doesn't get easier, but you do get callaused and numb. Well all the wishes in the world for girls to graduate it stings every time. Most especially when it's someone who comes in and leaves just as quick while whinning about "will I ever get pregnant" and they haven't even had a period yet. It's like "REALLY???" be considerate of those who've been thru far more far longer. Some people don't have a filter or sensitivity of others with what they say or do. Granted we all live in our own bubble, but there's more going on beyond that soapy orb.

doremi · #6 August 9th, 2011, 12:46 AM

I'm one of the newbies, but every cycle that I DON'T get pregnant, I have all the same feelings and fears as those of you who have been at it much longer than me. My biggest fear is that Josiah will be an only child. I know in my heart that probably isn't going to be the case, but it's hard when your "timeline" for things in your mind was much different than the hand life dealt you. I expected to be done having kids by 33, and that bday is coming up in just a few short months. I will be so thankful when TTC is over and done with, and I am far enough along in healthy pregnancy #2 to breathe. We're DONE after that... no way do I want to be in this holding pattern again trying for a third.

Shadeauxe · #7 August 9th, 2011, 04:54 AM

Sometimes.

So far I am 1 for 1 with my pregnancies, so I have no idea if I have a miscarriage issue yet. I hope not. My trouble is the conceive part. We'll soon be passing the conception date of my last pregnancy. :/

Most of the people in here are younger than me, so it doesn't surprise me that they move on faster.

lindsey2000k · #8 August 9th, 2011, 05:47 AM

Yes I feel this way too.
It has been a year since TTC # 2.

cheeky_monkey · #9 August 9th, 2011, 05:51 AM

Even though I am a sort of newbie here, I am no newbie to this IRL

At times I too feel like I will never have any kids. I am all my friends, who got married after I did, have beautiful kids by now. I had hoped that if not a mummy at least I would have been pregnant but here I am dreading the next two weeks and not really looking forward to the future with hope.

joanna26 · #10 August 9th, 2011, 05:52 AM

Yes - which is why I simply can't stand frequenting the TTC board and sometimes go awol from this one. Some days I just can't take the BFPs.

melissalaw · #11 August 9th, 2011, 05:59 AM

Sam I really hope that it happens for you soon. I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. Keeping my fingers crossed that this is your lucky month.

StaceygirlPa · #12 August 9th, 2011, 06:36 AM

Sam, I feel llike that all the time now. I am so happy for all the one's that got their BFP's and are moving on. I am so scared with my age that I will never be able to live my dream of being pg and holding a baby in my arms. I keep asking myself when will it be my turn. I feel like my time is running out. Here I sit and af is late and really no signs of starting. I took another test and BFN. I wish I knew what was going on so I could just start a fresh cycle.

On a side note Sam I feel like your turn is coming real soon.

3Sapphires · #13 August 9th, 2011, 06:48 AM

absolutely, we have been ttc for 2.5 years with only one pregnancy (and loss). I am always wondering if that was my last shot.

It is very hard to watch the people who were ttc with me move on, have their babies, ttc again, and move on with those babies. It sucks actually.

Blue_fire · #14 August 9th, 2011, 07:59 AM

I'm right there with ya doll. Its so fresh with the sting, and so dang hard to be happy.

fromustobaby · #15 August 9th, 2011, 10:48 PM

ttcivfma · #16 August 10th, 2011, 11:44 PM

I totally agree. With TTC for over 7 years in total and having three losses it stings to see BFP's. Some days I can look at them and other days I cant. I am happy when women can have their rainbow babies but at the same time I want mine. It may be selfish but I want to know what it is like to be 9, 10, 11 weeks and so on. What it is like to hold my child in my arms and know that I carried it for 10 months. It sometimes feels like I am not meant to have a child and all the people saying " It will happen when it is supposed to" just doesnt help when you see babies being born or women having surprise pregnancies. I feel the same as you all the time.

pepper73 · #17 August 11th, 2011, 03:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StaceygirlPa

. I keep asking myself when will it be my turn. I feel like my time is running out.

That's exactly how I feel too. It doesn't sting as much here because I know how hard everyone works to get their rainbow baby and the emotions that surround TTCAL. What really hurts the most is all of the Facebook pregnancy announcements and progress tickers. I feel like it's nonstop! And I know I should be happy for all of them, but I can't help but feel angry. Then I get ashamed of myself for being so selfish. It's not a fun cycle.

If I could have one wish, it would be that we all graduate from this board and no one ever has to join it again. (don't get me wrong...I LOVE this board...but I wish we could all move to a different one-I'm sure that didn't really need an explanation but I wanted to make sure)