[AnAngelsMommy]

Hi ladies, I have just recently joined here as my fiance and I are TTC in november after our wedding. I had a couple questions for anyone who is willing to give their input.

I had a m/c at 16 weeks, Meredith, a baby girl that would be 2yrs old now. I also m/c another little boy just a couple months ago. My family and friends don’t know about either one, only my fiancé.
I mostly didn’t tell them cause it hurt too much then, and afterwards i thought it would hurt my mother more telling her i didn’t trust her enough to tell her then. As well as his family is very religious and would have freaked out.

I think about both of them every day, and it makes it worse because i am a nanny of a little girl a month younger than my daughter would have been.

When I found out i was pregnant the first time, I went to 'Build a bear' and made her a teddy bear. After i miscarried I named the bear after my daughter Meredith Serephina, and i still hug and cuddle her every time it hurts too much to do anything else.

My questions are:

How young were you when you first became pregnant?

How have you dealt with your loss, or commemorated your angels?

How did you tell people if, or when you did?

And when you have a child that stays with you, are you going to tell him or her about their brothers and sisters that didn’t, or is that weird?

[joanna26]

Welcome

How young were you when you first became pregnant? I was 26 when I got pg the first time (sticky one), 29 with my loss

How have you dealt with your loss, or commemorated your angels? Good question and when I figure it out I will let you know Still dealing with it.

How did you tell people if, or when you did? Initially we only told immediate family (they were the only ones who knew about the pg). Later I told a few close friends because I needed the support. Very few people know to this day (no one either of us works with for example). I'm not sure what you mean by "how"?

And when you have a child that stays with you, are you going to tell him or her about their brothers and sisters that didn’t, or is that weird? Well I have a 2-year old but he knows nothing about the m/c at this point. I can't imagine telling him anything about it until he is much, much older if at all. That being said, my mother lost a baby at 8 mths (born pre-maturely) before I was born. I don't remember when I was told about my sister, but I must have been young because I always remember knowing about her.

[pepper73]

First of all, I want to say hi and welcome to the board! It is full of amazing and supportive women and I hope that you find comfort here. I know I certainly have. I am also so sorry for your losses. It is so hearbreaking!

How young were you when you first became pregnant? I was/am 37...it was just in February when I found out & also lost my baby.

How have you dealt with your loss, or commemorated your angels? I think about him/her every day and also talking here has helped me in so many ways. I think eventually, I would like to get a tattoo as a tribute.

How did you tell people if, or when you did? The only people who knew I was pregnant were my very best friends and my little sister. Two of my friends knew when I was miscarrying and they helped support me through it. I told my sister a couple of weeks afterward.

And when you have a child that stays with you, are you going to tell him or her about their brothers and sisters that didn’t, or is that weird? I will definitely tell my child(ren) about the angel sibling.

[lindsey2000k]

How young were you when you first became pregnant?24

How have you dealt with your loss, or commemorated your angels? Still trying to deal with it. Pretty much I just take it a day at a time. But I think I will never be the same.

How did you tell people if, or when you did? I told everyone right away with some and with others they found out after I miscarried.

And when you have a child that stays with you, are you going to tell him or her about their brothers and sisters that didn’t, or is that weird? I have a 3yr old and have not told her because she is to young to understand. Our doggy just died this weekend and she doesnt understand why he is not here so I can not imagine trying to explaine a baby that is gone that she never saw before. But they are not something I will keep from her and I do talk about in front of her but we never talk about it.

[.:Shortcake:.]

How young were you when you first became pregnant?
21

How have you dealt with your loss, or commemorated your angels?
I openly talk about my babies. I don't hold it in. I have 2 tattoos for my angels and I also let balloons go on EDD's and Angelversaries.

How did you tell people if, or when you did?
With my first one everyone knew I was pregnant so it was super hard because then they all needed told that I lost my son, with the others it was only immediate family and we are super close so they helped.

And when you have a child that stays with you, are you going to tell him or her about their brothers and sisters that didn’t, or is that weird?
I will tell them but probably not until they are older and understand.

[*SamF*]

How young were you when you first became pregnant?
37- I got started late.

How have you dealt with your loss, or commemorated your angels?
I have a memory box of u/s pics and other things form the ones I have stuff from. I plan on getting a tattoo after we are done TTC with my living childrens footprints and stars around them for my angels. Also co-workers gave me a rose bush when I lost Spud, I plan on getting a little memorial statue to put under it,

How did you tell people if, or when you did?
Our first we had to tell all of our family as we were so excited, had never been pregnant before let alone had a loss. The next couple only our close family knew. Some also knew about Spud, but I have stopped telling them anything due to lack of support.

And when you have a child that stays with you, are you going to tell him or her about their brothers and sisters that didn’t, or is that weird?
When they are old enough to understand I will tell them. Especially with DS because if he looks at his early u/s pics, he will see two babies.

[ashj_1218]

How young were you when you first became pregnant? I was 22 the very first time I got pregnant. I lost that baby (although reacted totally different from the later losses). I got pregnant with my son at 24 and the following angels were when I was 25 and 26.

How have you dealt with your loss, or commemorated your angels? I think I have dealt with it the best way I knew how. I still think about them and ocassionally talk about them with people who knew. I have a necklace I wear (a heart) that reminds me of them. I remember their due dates and when we lost them. I think I have reached a place of peace with it.

How did you tell people if, or when you did? I never told anyone I was pregnant with my first. Only a couple know about that one and his/her subsequent loss. I told everyone under the sun with my third pregnancy (my son was my second one) and then had to turn around and tell them about the loss. So it happened right as things were happening. I just said I lost the baby and we would try again. The ones that followed the third pregnancy I never told anyone except my DH and mom. So we did not have to go through the pain of telling everyone again. But I do talk about them in hindsight, since lots of people now know we had issues getting pregnant/keeping a pregnancy.

And when you have a child that stays with you, are you going to tell him or her about their brothers and sisters that didn’t, or is that weird? I *may* tell them when they are older. I don't see telling them now/when they are young, since it is a very hard concept to grasp. I won't make a secret about it. But I also won't make it huge, sad issue. Especially if I have sensitive children, who might react strongly to the idea of loss.

[WoahMama83]

How young were you when you first became pregnant? I was 19 when my first was born 20 with my second and 21 with my third and 28 with my first loss

How have you dealt with your loss, or commemorated your angels? By talking about the pregnancy and baby. I dont want people to pretend that it never happened or wasn't there because I most definitely saw a baby on u/s I just didnt get to bring them home with me

How did you tell people if, or when you did? I think the majority of people who are close to us knew pretty much right after we found out. My mom was the one who let everyone know family wise. A lot of friends found out through FB.

And when you have a child that stays with you, are you going to tell him or her about their brothers and sisters that didn’t, or is that weird? Since I have three older children already and they know that something went wrong and that the baby didnt make it and get to come home. My daughter was in the room with me for the u/s when the doctor told us. As far as telling any future kids I'm not sure about that yet....I guess Ill cross that bridge when I get to it.

[Celena]

My questions are:

How young were you when you first became pregnant?
21 for 1st pregnancy ever, 23yr with my 1st loss ever (with ex)
DH & I lost our 1st when I was 32yrs old

How have you dealt with your loss, or commemorated your angels?
I haven't done allot, have a cross that says Bless This Baby and I have named a couple of our little ones with nicknames

How did you tell people if, or when you did?
Because Dh was a tad excited a few of the times I had to tell people when they would ask how I was feeling or congratulate me... was NOT easy

And when you have a child that stays with you, are you going to tell him or her about their brothers and sisters that didn’t, or is that weird?
We have had to, but it's gotten to the point where I'd rather not even tell them I am/was pg at any time because it's hard to explain to them. They want to know why I keep losing all of our babies. It just hurts too much