[cheeky_monkey]

for Friday 26th. So in 1 week I am going to have 3 u/s!!!!! Yikes!!!! OB emailed with an app but had to move it. I really appreciate it when he books the app's for me coz it was a total hassle, but now it's fine. We have an app we are happy with. The receptionist was great coz when i explained the situation to her she was very accomodating. Hopefully next month when I'll call again when she'll ask if it's gynae related I will be able to tell her no - it's a preg visit

Started Follistim this morning. It wasn't bad. Didn't even feel the prick.

so the appointments now are: next monday (and probably wednesday as well) tvus at hospital, friday tvus at ob. Hopefully by sat 27 or sunday 28 I'll O and hopefully this month we'll catch it

[.:Shortcake:.]

Awesome I hope this brings you your rainbow baby

[cheeky_monkey]

I'm keeping everything crossable crossed. DH phoned to see how i did with the Follistim

Now the only problem I have is where to find the urge to do it

I was talking a few minutes ago with a friend who has just had her second loss and now I'm really scared of getting preg and loosing the baby again

[.:Shortcake:.]

It is hard. I have had 7 losses with 8 babies and it's still hard. But I want to be a mommy and if I don't try it's not going to happen.

[cheeky_monkey]

Do you ever feel crazy about not wanting to stop trying? At times i end up asking myself and DH whether I'm crazy or not. I've been pricked and prodded only God know hoe many times, been to hell and back with the m/c, now doing Follistim (which I'm not too happy about) but on the other hand it does not even cross my mind to stop trying

[.:Shortcake:.]

No I honestly don't think it's crazy. I know in my heart I'm meant to be a mom. And I'm willing to do everything in my power to become a mom.

[cheeky_monkey]

Ppl here have called me crazy and obsessed, still i don't seem to be able to want to give up. At times I admit I wish I could stop myself from wishing I had kids. It seems easier to ppl who do not want kids to have them

[.:Shortcake:.]

((HUGS)) It will happen. I know you want it to happen right this second but it will happen.

[cheeky_monkey]

So true! *sigh*

Hope that it will happen to all of the ladies on this board and that we never have to come back. Even though I have to admit it that I would terribly miss you all

It feels like 'home' here now

[.:Shortcake:.]

That's because on this board we are "family"

[cheeky_monkey]

so true

[joanna26]

Good luck sweetie! FX that this is your month

[cheeky_monkey]

Originally Posted by joanna26

Good luck sweetie! FX that this is your month

Thanks!!! Hope that it will be yours too

We need another baby boom in here for all the ladies who have remained here this month (lol and hopefully I wouldn't be the only one who is left behind even then )

[lindsey2000k]

Good luck.
I have had 4 miscarriages now and keep going so no I do not think you are crazy.

[Cait&AngelAbove]

God luck! I hope you get your sticky bean very soon!

[StaceygirlPa]

Wishing you lots of luck. I don't think you are crazy. I am 41 with 3 losses and I wont give up. Like Katie said I know I am ment to be a mom.

[cheeky_monkey]

Thanks Lindsey, Caitlin and Stacey.

Actually that is why I think that I keep on going. I know that I am meant to be a mum (Even though it scares me enough to make me nearly poop my pants - coz I'm so afraid of not being a good mum)

That's why I don't think I will stop keeping on trying until we'll have kids - naturally or not

[pepper73]

Good luck with all of your appointments! It sounds like you're really going to be busy and hopefully it will end up with good results!!

I don't think you're crazy at all. I feel the same way and Katie is so right...it won't happen if we don't try.

Don't worry about being a bad mom. The fact that you are working so hard for this already proves you will be an amazing mother!!

[cheeky_monkey]

Originally Posted by pepper73

Don't worry about being a bad mom. The fact that you are working so hard for this already proves you will be an amazing mother!!

Thanks! Lol that means that I am going to have to end up semi naked in front of ppl more next week basically it will mean getting my kit off one day on/on day off

That is what ppl who know about our struggle keep on telling me and I hope that it is true, but I worry about how we'll cope. DH woks a lot so I will be on my own with the baby most of the time and for the life of me I do not know how I'll cope. I do not have any idea of how to wash/bath/burp a baby. I do not have any idea of how to change a baby's nappy (the only nappies I changed belonged to a three year old I work with at school and I kept on asking him to move here and there to help me change him). I do not even have any idea what yo feed a baby - if not breastmilk - and after that? no idea!

Dear Jesus I can barely hold a newborn in my hands coz I would be so scared that the baby would fall that I do not even move - and nearly hold my breath all the time.

I would love to have a baby and am more than willing to go through the pricking part (even though I hate it with a passion), am looking forward to the looking like a house on the move/looking like a whale phase - that does not scare me. I am not as scared of all the pain it involves with the giving birth part as I am of the getting baby home and helping him/her to grow up into a decent child/adult.

Guess I want the best for my baby - I just do not have any idea of how to go about giving it to him/here

Sorry for all the rambling but once i start thinking that I might have a decent chance of getting pregnant while I really enjoy it all these thoughts come to the surface as well