May I join you? (loss mentioned)

GG1995 · #1 August 19th, 2011, 07:53 AM

My name is Dara (I will be 35 in December) and my husband is Jason (38). We have 1 DS named Trevor that is 20 months old.

We have been TTC our 2nd since January 2011. I found out I was pregnant on August 8, 2011 and then I suffered a miscarriage on August 13, 2011. I have had an ultrasound and was told that I had passed all of the baby and that my uterus is "clean." My doctor said that 1 out of every 3 pregnancies end in a miscarriage, and I was unfortunatley that 1 in the 3 this time. I am healthy, and I did not do anything different with this pregnancy than I did with DS. Basically, it was just bad luck.

That statistical mumbo jumbo doesn't help ease the pain any. I know that God has a way of taking care of things, and maybe there was something "wrong" with that particular baby and he has his reasons.................but that still doesn't make the hurt go away. I still cry when I think about it......and I ask even though I know I am not supposed to.."Why did this have to happen to me Lord?"

I am sorry that all of you know what I am going through right now........does it every get any better or easier?

Thanks for listening.

.:Shortcake:. · #2 August 19th, 2011, 07:59 AM

((HUGS)) I am so very sorry for your loss. The ladies here are amazing and so supportive. I can tell you that after time it does get easier to deal with but you will never forget your little one. Take things one day at a time for now and if that's too much take it an hour at a time. Grieve for you baby and know that it's "normal" to feel this way. I hope you get a sticky BFP quickly.

GG1995 · #3 August 19th, 2011, 08:08 AM

Thank you Katie.

Hopefulpinkangel · #4 August 19th, 2011, 08:11 AM

I agree, it does get easier I think, but you never really forget.

Welcome!!

*SamF* · #5 August 19th, 2011, 08:26 AM

Hey Dara!! Glad you came over here. It does get easier with time, it doesn't seem like it would but it does.

Shadeauxe · #6 August 19th, 2011, 08:42 AM

Hello! Everyone in here is very supportive. I'm not a great emotional support, but my job is to provide comic relief. Also, I am a good reality check. Oh and I retain a lot of useless information. For example, did you know that the strawberry is the only fruit with the seeds on the outside?

Also, Katie's uterus only knows Spanish, so if you must have a conversation with it, bring a translator.

Adios!

pepper73 · #7 August 19th, 2011, 08:55 AM

Hi Dara!! I'm happy to see you over here! I hope that you are beginning to be able to heal and that this board helps you through it. The ladies here have been an amazing support system for me and I hope you find the same is true for you. I totally get your feelings about the statistics. It definitely doesn't help when you're in the middle of something that. I hope & pray that you are able to get your rainbow baby very soon!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadeauxe

Also, Katie's uterus only knows Spanish, so if you must have a conversation with it, bring a translator.

Adios!

LOL!!!

acchickpea · #8 August 19th, 2011, 08:55 AM

Sorry for your loss... It's hard to deal with at first....I've started to notice that everything and everyone around me would have some association with baby related topics... hurts... but it really gets better..... Just don't let it break you emotionally so that you can continue to try again..... We're here for you....

.:Shortcake:. · #9 August 19th, 2011, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shadeauxe

Also, Katie's uterus only knows Spanish, so if you must have a conversation with it, bring a translator.

Adios!

This is true

GG1995 · #10 August 19th, 2011, 09:56 AM

Thank you Ladies for the warm welcome!

I just feel so hollow and empty inside right now..........everywhere, not just my tummy. I can never really remember feeling like this before in my life. I just feel so BLAH!

I know we will start TTC again in a fews weeks, but that seems like a lifetime away right now.

joanna26 · #11 August 19th, 2011, 10:19 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss sweetie

As the other ladies mentioned it does get easier, although even several months later I still don't feel "normal" per se. Right now it is especially tough because your hormones are still so out of whack and the pain is still fresh. Hang in there and try to take it one day at a time

.:Shortcake:. · #12 August 19th, 2011, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GG1995

Thank you Ladies for the warm welcome!

I just feel so hollow and empty inside right now..........everywhere, not just my tummy. I can never really remember feeling like this before in my life. I just feel so BLAH!

I know we will start TTC again in a fews weeks, but that seems like a lifetime away right now.

Let yourself grieve for your baby you lost. It's hard but sometimes grieving is the best thing for us so that we can continue on. ((HUGS)) I'm here if you ever need to talk. You can PM me at any time.

StaceygirlPa · #13 August 19th, 2011, 10:39 AM

Sorry for you loss Dara! Welcome to the board. The ladies here are wonderful.

EJsMommy · #14 August 19th, 2011, 10:44 AM

Hello Dara, I am sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to go thru because you get attached really quick to what is growing inside and when you lose that then it feels like a part of you is gone. It will get easier with time but take small steps toward it. Remember that the part of making it easier for you later on is to greive your loss now and don't bottle it up.
You will get great support here on this board.

sandiegomom · #15 August 19th, 2011, 11:03 AM

Hi, I am sorry to welcome you over here. (i was in the april ddc too) the good this is that there are soooo many supportive ladies over here. they are amazing. Also, I just wanted to tell you that I think it is ok to ask why. I believe that he knows we have questions and don't understand why things happen. it doesn't mean you are blaming him. (i asked this same question to my pastor's wife...am I allowed to ask why this happened again....so soon? i just didn't get why I was allowed to get pregnant right away if it were going to end that way) and although I didn't get an "answer" I felt better just asking and grieving. anyways, I hope you get your bfp really soon!

BeckyBozeman · #16 August 19th, 2011, 11:59 AM

Hi Dara,

So sorry for your loss... It's been about five weeks since my loss and in some ways it has gotten easier. I still think about my little bean and what should have been every day, but life goes on and with every day I find myself able to enjoy things again and look forward to trying again (with a lot of fear that wasn't there before, of course).

Hope for you that your stay here is short and you get a sticky BFP very soon!

WoahMama83 · #17 August 19th, 2011, 03:33 PM

Welcome and Im so sorry for your loss.

melissalaw · #18 August 19th, 2011, 06:58 PM

Dara I am so sorry for your loss. It does get easier with time. I hate the statitics also. My doctor used alot of numbers after our loss and it didn't really help. The ladies on this forum are amazing. I don't know how I could have gotten through without them. I hope you find the same support.

Cait&AngelAbove · #19 August 20th, 2011, 06:10 AM

Welcome! I am so sorry for your loss!

Ana*Addey*OliveMommy · #20 August 20th, 2011, 12:39 PM

Sorry for you loss. I had my loss on 8/6/11 and it has been so hard. My midwife and the ER dr I saw told me the numbers too. Well great wonderful that is not helping my pain of losing my baby!