[mojo-risin]

I found out on Thursday that my LO had no heartbeat. We'd seen the heartbeat on Friday (8/12) but LO was measuring only 7w2d, and the earliest I could possibly be was 8w even. I went into the u/s on Thursday just knowing the outcome wouldn't be good, but even though I had mentally prepared myself, I still was pretty devastated. It's just heartbreaking to see no motion. I never thought I'd be in that place. Not to mention there was a vanishing twin. So not only did I lose one LO, but had another embryo that wasn't healthy enough to continue.

The scientist in me is saying that the impossibly high betas in the beginning, and the slow growth indicated a chromosomal issue. That this was for the best. However, the Mama in me is impossibly sad. I never thought I'd feel like this. My husband is having a hard time understanding why I am more upset than he thinks I should be. I keep trying to explain to him that it's different when it happens to you. He also keeps telling me that "maybe we just got lucky with our son". He never really wanted another child, so I feel like he isn't mourning this one like I am.

Ugh. I am just ready to get started again, and it's so frustrating that now I have to wait for those stupid quants to go down to zero, and then wait 2 more normal cycles before we can. I have required clomid to get pregnant both pregnancies, so it is pretty futile to try before the dr. okays it and writes the script. I hate that it isn't as easy for us as it is for others. Not to mention I get to endure my husband's reluctance to TTC again.

I am just angry. Sorry for the rant, and I am glad to find a place where I can let it out!

[melissalaw]

I am so sorry for you loss A loss is something that no woman should have to endure. I hope you find the comfort from this forum that I have. The women here are so awesome and we are here anytime you need to vent. I hope your stay here is short and sweet.

[lindsey2000k]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[humnck]

We were on the same board before together and I think we both went through this on the same day. Glad you found your way here, I have only been on for a day and have found many kind words from these ladies! So sorry you are having to go through this and hope that you get to join another board soon!!

[.:Shortcake:.]

((HUGS)) I am so very sorry for your loss. The ladies here are amazing and so supportive. I hope that your levels drop quickly and that your able to try again really soon.

[pepper73]

Hi and welcome! I am so sorry for your loss. It really is devastating and it is so unfair that it has to happen to anyone. I'm sorry your DH isn't understanding and supportive. Could it be that he's just having a hard time coming to grips with it himself? So many times, men have a harder time with their emotions and they don't know how to comfort us, knowing that there's nothing they can do. It's a totally helpless thing. I really hope he gets on board when you get the OK to TTC again. Just know that all of us here will be there for you and will support you every step of the way. Best of luck to you!

[Hopefulpinkangel]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[joanna26]

I am so sorry for your loss Welcome to the board and feel free to vent away. That is what we are here for

[GG1995]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I just had my first loss (and I hope only) as well. I found out I was pregnant on 08/08/11 and I lost it on 08/13/11.

Please hang in there...................we are all in this together. The Ladies on this board have been so sweet and understanding. I hope and pray that we ALL get our Rainbow Babies really soon!