my early miscarriage

elizabethchallis · #1 September 7th, 2011, 12:39 PM

I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy yesterday. I would of been 5 weeks on Friday. I know there was nothing I could of done, but I feel like I did everything wrong. There was a night I drank before I found out, I took IB profen for two days because of a UTI and I never went to the doctor for it because I was working... I almost want to take a break and just stop thinking about TTC but it's something I want so badly. DF and I agreed to start ntnp until after my vacation. I'll be back the beginning of November. I'm debating to still temp or not. I'd feel like I was cheating. I miss my little bean. Two days ago I was incredibly happy and yesterday was the saddest thing I had to go through.

lindsey2000k · #2 September 7th, 2011, 01:07 PM

I am sorry for your loss.

melissalaw · #3 September 7th, 2011, 01:25 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending lots of hugs.

joanna26 · #4 September 7th, 2011, 01:47 PM

I am so sorry

humnck · #5 September 7th, 2011, 01:54 PM

I am ss for your loss! None of the stuff you did before you found out would have affected the bean - it was probably not implanted, so don't blame yourself for that!

HUGS!!

L-SBB · #6 September 7th, 2011, 02:01 PM

i'm so very sorry for your loss...ditto that nothing you did had any impact on an early loss, so definitely don't beat yourself up thinking it could have been prevented. HUGS

.:Shortcake:. · #7 September 7th, 2011, 02:17 PM

((HUGS)) I am so very sorry for your loss! Nothing you did caused you to lose your baby. We are here for you and please if you need to talk you can always PM me.

KaiyaRae'sMomma · #8 September 7th, 2011, 04:25 PM

I'm glad you found your way here, these girls are amazing will be with you every step of your journey!

elizabethchallis · #9 September 7th, 2011, 05:30 PM

Thanks so much ... it's been really hard. Mostly the "why me's?"

doremi · #10 September 7th, 2011, 11:55 PM

I'm so very sorry. I just had my 2nd early miscarriage this past weekend. Both of mine were right around 5 weeks too. Hoping the healing happens quickly physically for you. Please do not beat yourself up about the things you could have done differently. With these early losses, they are almost never preventable. Huge hugs to you!

missy123 · #11 September 8th, 2011, 06:27 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))

The loss of a pregnancy/child is the hardest thing to go through. It is so painful and you will go through many stages of grief. Don't quote me on this but there is sadness, anger, denial, and then acceptance with sadness. (not in that order) Feel free to post away - we understand your pain. And the minute you get your bfp there is a bond between mother and child that can not be explained but is real - Do not let anyone undermine your feelings and say "it was an early loss, you can try again". It doesn't matter - it still hurts.

We are here for you.

elizabethchallis · #12 September 8th, 2011, 06:37 AM

Thanks everyone. I did pick a good board!
I only bled for two days and now I'm spotting again. Also my temps are still high. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up... I guess I'm at that denial stage

You know what's weird, seeing my DF makes me more sad. He'll just look at me and I'll start to cry. It took him a while to come around, but now he'll hold me until I let it all out.

humnck · #13 September 8th, 2011, 07:23 AM

I don't want to get your hopes up either, but did you have the m/c confirmed? Or at least checked to make sure you are healing? I would at least call your doc and explain what is happening and see what they say. We are here for you! It's hard, time will help, but it is never easy!

elizabethchallis · #14 September 8th, 2011, 07:46 AM

I had blood drawn the day I started cramping and bleeding and I had an hcg level of 5. But I was still testing positive on FRER 6 hours later. They called me back to tell me pretty much not to get my hopes up that 5 is really low. And the next morning my doctor's nurse called to say she wants me to come in a week from the first draw to make sure I'm back at zero. I asked if she wanted to see me and they said no. I never had cramps like AF which are unbearable. Just dull and achy but my boobs don't hurt anymore.

elizabethchallis · #15 September 8th, 2011, 08:03 AM

I just had the darkest line on FRER yet... is this old from before I started bleeding?? I'm going in right away for a 2nd draw

KaiyaRae'sMomma · #16 September 8th, 2011, 08:38 AM

Go find out what is going on! and Keep us posted! I'm stalking your thread!

owensmom · #17 September 8th, 2011, 09:02 AM

it is possible that it's still ok, but my HCG went up for a week after my m/c was confirmed on the u/s. sometimes it takes a while for all the parts of your body to get the same message. hopefully your blood draw is good! i've known lots of people who bled during the first trimester too and were fine. keep us posted!

p.s. i'm from WI too!

elizabethchallis · #18 September 8th, 2011, 09:38 AM

I'm from Appleton, where about in Wisconsin are you?

I just got back from the hospital. I should know sometime this afternoon. My bleeding wasn't even for 2 days. Right now it's only when I wipe and its a red discharge. I didn't have severe cramps like I do with AF and my temp went way up this morning. My boobs don't hurt anymore though. Which was pretty much my only pregnancy symptom but they always hurt before AF. The last test I took was at 1pm on the 6th and it doubled in darkness on the same brand today which was with an hour hold and barely peed on it for 5 seconds.

owensmom · #19 September 8th, 2011, 10:45 AM

I'm from southwest WI - about an hour west of Madison.

I'm glad you don't have to wait long to hear back from the dr. It's the waiting and wondering that sucks the most with losses. hopefully its somewhat difinative for you. i know sometimes once you do get the beta numbers it can be hard to interpret what they actually mean if they don't jump as high or as fast as we expect.