Slightly B*** moment (pg and loss ment)

humnck · #1 September 12th, 2011, 07:45 PM

Ok, so I was on FB trying to catch up because I haven't been online much the past couple of days. I get to my sister's SIL's status (she happens to be about 32 weeks) and it is, once again, complaining of the baby moving too much, blah, blah...well, my sister posted, I love that feeling, I posted (and here comes the b*** moment) "I wish I was feeling that..." - I just am so fed up with her complaining about being pg, she is the one that wanted to be, she has had a fairly easy pg and she has 2 (plus one - they have custody of her niece at the moment) healthy kids. I probably made her feel bad, but it is just so irritating to see people complaining, they should know how lucky they are! Our other friend just lost a 2nd baby at 7 months and is trying to figure out why, it's just not fair...I am glad that she is having a healthy pg and that her baby is moving so much, but don't complain about it, be thankful out loud! Ok, sorry, I was just having a moment, I think AF is coming (lol)...still hasn't shown, but have been having all of the signs!

(Calebs_Momma) · #2 September 12th, 2011, 09:57 PM

I'm sorry :hugs: I know it's hard especially in that type of situation. My dh's little sister got pregnant on purpose at 15 and it was really hard on me the entire time, still is. At least when we get our bfp's everything will be enjoyable, even the morning sickness

pepper73 · #3 September 13th, 2011, 03:14 AM

I'm so sorry! I totally understand your frustration and hurt! I have two very close friends who have recently had their babies. During both of their pregnancies, they'd complain about the morning sickness, fatigue, not being able to move, aches & pains, etc. One of them eve went so far as to tell me I should stop TTC because pregnancy is so brutal (she was exhausted and it was very hormonally driven, but it still stung bad) I finally got so fed up, that I said the same thing you did. They stopped for the most part, but one of them continued to complain about throwing up...she was sick through the entire pregnancy. I get it...it's not fun, but when you're saying this to someone who would give anything for those symptoms, it's like a slap in the face. Not to mention the fact that both of these women have had miscarriages. You'd think they'd be more understanding. It's hard too because I love both of them dearly and am very happy for them...plus, they have both been extremely supportive & caring toward me. It was just those little digs that hurt so much.

I say good for you for saying that. I don't think it was nasty at all. It was honest..and on a site like FB, people need to take into consideration that there are people out there who have been through what you are going through.

Quote:

Originally Posted by (Calebs_Momma)

I'm sorry :hugs: I know it's hard especially in that type of situation. My dh's little sister got pregnant on purpose at 15 and it was really hard on me the entire time, still is. At least when we get our bfp's everything will be enjoyable, even the morning sickness

I can definitely imagine how hard that must be to deal with! Wow!! Pregnant on purpose at 15???? That is insane!! What did her parents say about that? Why did she decide to do that?

I totally agree about everything being enjoyable. We might be feeling miserable, but we'll welcome it with open arms. We will definitely appreciate our rainbow babies more than they'll ever know!

.:Shortcake:. · #4 September 13th, 2011, 03:33 AM

((hugs))

3Sapphires · #5 September 13th, 2011, 04:52 AM

why would anyone complain about the baby moving "too" much - that is just stupid.

I'm sorry you have to read that kind of garbage

(Calebs_Momma) · #6 September 13th, 2011, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pepper73

I can definitely imagine how hard that must be to deal with! Wow!! Pregnant on purpose at 15???? That is insane!! What did her parents say about that? Why did she decide to do that?

Ugh, its a whole messed up situation. Luckily my dh was raised by his grandparents (on the other side of the family) so he doesn't have the same mentality, but his mom also got pregnant on purpose at 15. So basically is supportive of her daughter b/c she understands @@. She plans to live off welfare and her mom, and her mom is excited to essentially be a mother again. We were there for the birth, got to hold him afterwards.. it's hard when that should have been me but instead it's this little girl who smoked weed throughout her entire pregnancy (w/ her mother!) plans to live off the system, has no father figure for this baby in her life, and she can get that baby right away. It's just not FAIR!

Sorry for hijacking girl

lindsey2000k · #7 September 13th, 2011, 09:09 AM

I am so sorry. I have had to remove so many people from my friends list over the last year because of this.... even a couple girls who have been where we are.

Spahr · #8 September 13th, 2011, 11:43 AM

I'm glad I'm not the only person who feels this way. A girl who is due around the same time I was recently posted about how she can't wait to be done, so I blocked her from my news feed. I wanted to say something but theres enough drama on fb already.

BeckyBozeman · #9 September 13th, 2011, 01:02 PM

I'm really glad that you said something... sometimes people need a wake up call. And I also know that there have been times in the past that I've said things without thinking them through and I appreciate having someone say "you know it really hurts me when you say that." Much better than having someone mad at me and not knowing it or not knowing why. I like to think that most people don't want to hurt others, they just don't realize that they're being insensitive. And some people just never get it and it can be cathartic to say something to them!

KaiyaRae'sMomma · #10 September 13th, 2011, 04:43 PM

I have definitely had those moments, especially on Facebook!! People just don't realize what they are saying, they need to be put in our shoes and realize it!

pepper73 · #11 September 13th, 2011, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (Calebs_Momma)

Ugh, its a whole messed up situation. Luckily my dh was raised by his grandparents (on the other side of the family) so he doesn't have the same mentality, but his mom also got pregnant on purpose at 15. So basically is supportive of her daughter b/c she understands @@. She plans to live off welfare and her mom, and her mom is excited to essentially be a mother again. We were there for the birth, got to hold him afterwards.. it's hard when that should have been me but instead it's this little girl who smoked weed throughout her entire pregnancy (w/ her mother!) plans to live off the system, has no father figure for this baby in her life, and she can get that baby right away. It's just not FAIR!

Sorry for hijacking girl

I am speechless!

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeckyBozeman

I'm really glad that you said something... sometimes people need a wake up call. And I also know that there have been times in the past that I've said things without thinking them through and I appreciate having someone say "you know it really hurts me when you say that." Much better than having someone mad at me and not knowing it or not knowing why. I like to think that most people don't want to hurt others, they just don't realize that they're being insensitive. And some people just never get it and it can be cathartic to say something to them!

Very well said Becky. I think you have an excellent point!

humnck · #12 September 13th, 2011, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by (Calebs_Momma)

Ugh, its a whole messed up situation. Luckily my dh was raised by his grandparents (on the other side of the family) so he doesn't have the same mentality, but his mom also got pregnant on purpose at 15. So basically is supportive of her daughter b/c she understands @@. She plans to live off welfare and her mom, and her mom is excited to essentially be a mother again. We were there for the birth, got to hold him afterwards.. it's hard when that should have been me but instead it's this little girl who smoked weed throughout her entire pregnancy (w/ her mother!) plans to live off the system, has no father figure for this baby in her life, and she can get that baby right away. It's just not FAIR!

Sorry for hijacking girl

No apologies needed! Vent away, it's not fair! I have a friend who spent years TTC and finally got her baby (by accident, but her dream finally came true) and she has a hard time watching others have babies so easily, even after she had her son. I do too, how does it make sense that we actually have to TRY to get pregnant, but there are others that just do...they DTD once and get pg from it - UNFAIR, but I guess we all know that life isn't fair right!? UGH!

I have such a hard time with the fact that any parent would support such behavior, living off of the system is not just to do it, it's for those that are actually struggling and trying - it shouldn't be used just to use it - makes me so upset when people just abuse the system that was put into place for those that just really needed it and are really trying, but just struggling.

HUGS to you too!