just experienced first m/c....

TyceBrielle · #1 September 30th, 2011, 10:26 AM

i just posted in TTC because i had joined them ladies back in July, but i think maybe this is where i need to be/post.

We succesfully got pregnant our 2nd TTC cycle in august....i lost the pregnancy a few days ago at 7 weeks. This is my first m/c. And its awful

Im still on an emotional rollercoaster and im not yet sure if we will TTC again or not, and if we do, im not sure how soon. I have very mixed emotions about it. Part of me feels like another pregnancy is the only thing that will heal this hurt....the other part of me is too afraid of another loss to even try. (side note...we have 5 healthy beautiful children...we just wanted one more. After so many succesful pregnancies, this was a shocker!)

While in the hospital i was so shocked/sick that i didnt even think to ask questions about my cycle. How long will it take for my cycle to return to "normal"? And i know everybody is different and handles things in their own way...but do u ladies jump right back up and keep going/trying?? Or do u take a step back for awhile?? Like i said, this is too new for us to even make a decision yet. I need time to sort things our mentally...i guess what im feeling is normal, just kinda curious how u ladies deal with a loss and the decision to TTC again

Leanne78 · #2 September 30th, 2011, 11:04 AM

(((Hugs))) again and sorry you are going through this. It took me 4 weeks to get my period back and to have a "normal" cycle. What you are feeling is completely normal. Take some time to process what has happened and mourn your loss. No need to make a decision yet. You'll have time while you heal.

cheeky_monkey · #3 September 30th, 2011, 11:26 AM

I'm so sorry about ur m/c. Emotionally it will take much longer to heal than physically unfortunately.

i agree with Leanne. Take as much time as you need. At first I did not even want to hear the word pregnancy for about two months. Now it's been neatly 6 months that we've been trying again.

Hope that ur stay here will be short xxx

roziecakes · #4 September 30th, 2011, 11:35 AM

I just had my first m/c too, and it was also my first pregnancy. Since I'm so new at all of this my emotions have been all over the place. I thought we'd wait a little bit to try. I haven't had a normal cycle yet since the m/c, but I think I O'ed recently, and we decided to give it a shot anyway, just in case. Where I'm at personally, is now I just want to have a baby so much, that I'll do whatever it takes to get there in regards to my health, and the health of my future LO, and DH too of course. I wish you the best, I can see how you would feel shocked by having five healthy children and then a loss. I would be pretty devastated and unsure myself about how to proceed. I say just give yourself the time you need and take care of yourself! I think you'll know when you're ready to try again.

*SamF* · #5 September 30th, 2011, 11:37 AM

sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board, its a very supportive place. And definitely only move on to TTC when you are ready.

TyceBrielle · #6 September 30th, 2011, 11:55 AM

Thanks ladies! i was just googling stuff, (gotta love google lol) and read that "most" women are more fertile right after a mc....??? Wonder if this is true. One doctor quoted "pregnancy makes pregnancy"....meaning ur extra fertile right after a miscarriage or giving birth. Thought this was interesting

Leanne78 · #7 September 30th, 2011, 12:06 PM

I'd heard that too although I don't know if there is really any science behind that or not. I did get pregnant again right away after my mc but it also ended in a mc. I don't know if my body just wasn't ready or if it was just completely unrelated. My doctor said that 1 out of every 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage so it is a lot more common than I ever knew.

sweet.hun · #8 September 30th, 2011, 12:29 PM

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. After my miscarriage in March (at 10w) I was told to wait 3 cycles before trying again which wasn't a problem since DH was deployed at that point. If you do decide to try again right away, you may get pregnant quickly as right after a m/c you are said to be incredibly fertile. However there is controversy as to whether that is good for you or not. Some go on to have perfect pregnancies and some miscarry again. I personally would wait.

BeckyBozeman · #9 September 30th, 2011, 12:37 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss...

I agree with the ladies above that said to take your time. You'll know when you're ready to start again and remember that your SO will have to deal too.

As far as being more fertile right after, from what I can tell that kind of depends on how far along you were when you had your loss. If it was a really early m/c then it sounds like your body can be primed because of hormone levels, etc. But all of us are very different and you just can't know how your body will react. I didn't ovulate the first cycle after my loss. So try to be patient with yourself and give yourself the time you need to heal.

Best of luck for a quick sticky rainbow baby and hugs...

Moldovandish · #10 September 30th, 2011, 01:02 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. I've also read about being more fertile right after the M/C, but I didn't even feel like I ovulated the first month after. And my body is still out of whack 6 months after and no luck in TTCing yet, so I think it's an individual body thing.

acchickpea · #11 September 30th, 2011, 01:22 PM

So sorry that you had to experience the loss... Was this natural or did you go through with the D&C? You are right that everybody reacts differently to a miscarriage so you might be one where you are able to regulate fairly quickly. There are up days and then there a quit a few of down days... especially when close friends and relatives say that they are pregnant during a vulnerable state. Give yourself time to adjust and you'll know what is best for you... My cycles are all still messed up after my natural MC. I was told to not try until after 3 cycles because this would allow a person to be "OK" with everything... not true... was put on birth control for 2 month to regulate my cycle... (didn't work).. and I listened but wish I did start to try sooner after the miscarriage....

dbusenbark · #12 September 30th, 2011, 01:52 PM

I am so sorry for your loss :-( I m/c at 7wks and had a D & E on Aug 23rd. I am still waiting for AF to show up (it's been over 5 wks). Not sure if I O'd or not but because of my age I'm TTC as soon as possible. My Dr. didn't give me much warning about trying right away. The most frustrating part is waiting for a starting point to start testing, temping, anything. I was hopefully that I would be more fertile after my m/c too. Because it's been over 5 wks I took a HPT which came back as BFN. But again I was nervous that if it came back a BFP would that mean I still had the HCG hormone from the m/c or would I truely be pg. Aaaggghhh!!!

Sierra.Sparling · #13 September 30th, 2011, 02:32 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. Last year in May I mc at 7ish weeks. I had to have a d&c unfortunately and was a wreck as was my dh. He was so exicted about it because that would of been our second child. It takes time for your body to heal and it takes time for you to heal emotionally. You will know when you are ready to try again. For us, this is our first offical month of TTC. We are just now finally ready for that. Its hard, but in time you will get your BFP again. When you are ready. My ob said not to give up, that mc are one of those hushed things that not everyone wants to talk about. Especially if it is your first it is extreamly common. Not that thats a good thing. He told us to wait one cycle and then we can try whenever we are ready. I wish you the best and hope you get to feeling better soon! HUGS!!!!

TyceBrielle · #14 September 30th, 2011, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by acchickpea

So sorry that you had to experience the loss... Was this natural or did you go through with the D&C? You are right that everybody reacts differently to a miscarriage so you might be one where you are able to regulate fairly quickly. There are up days and then there a quit a few of down days... especially when close friends and relatives say that they are pregnant during a vulnerable state. Give yourself time to adjust and you'll know what is best for you... My cycles are all still messed up after my natural MC. I was told to not try until after 3 cycles because this would allow a person to be "OK" with everything... not true... was put on birth control for 2 month to regulate my cycle... (didn't work).. and I listened but wish I did start to try sooner after the miscarriage....

So far this is natural. I did go to ER because even tho i "knew" what was happeing, it happend so fast and out of nowhere! And i wanted to make sure it wasnt tubal. I went from very little brown spotting to literally keeling over in pain and passing huge blood clots. I was standing in my kitchen, all of a sudden i got cold sweats, felt like puking, my hands started shaking and my teeth started chattering, i felt like i was gonna pass out. So i went to bathroom, sat down and thats when everything happened. I looked down in complete shock. Very Scary! When i got to ER, on tuesday...my levels were 1850. Which is very low for 7 weeks, so thinking i probably lost the pregnancy earlier, it just took some time for my body to expell it. Anyway, they did an ultrasound and didnt even see a sac. Doctor said i either passed it or it never formed. I guess theres no way of really knowing. HOWEVER i have to get my blood levels checked again, If they dont drop then they want to schedule a D&C....im PRAYING my body takes care of this naturally, i do NOT want to have that procedure done. As of today, i am still bleeding very heavily. Still clots and still bright red. I have no idea if that is common or what to expect. All i was told by this foreign doctor that i could barely understand was, that i should expect to bleed 7-10 days, they dont want it to stop much short of that and dont want it to go on much longer than that. And come back for another blood draw to check levels, then go from there. Sooooo im just kinda going day by day. Im still cramping off n on, but now its just like bad period cramps, its tolerable. Emotionally DH is taking this harder than i am. He wouldnt even sleep with me the first night. Not bcuz he was mad at me, thats just his way of coping with sadness...he wants to be alone. Now he is being extra lovey to me and really seems concerned, yet is still very upset himself. He said he just doesnt understand and cant make sense of it. I am more at peace with and try not to question God. I would drive myself crazy if i did. I know there is a bigger reason behind all of this than DH and I will ever understand...and thats ok. I trust God and i know he has a plan. It does hurt tho and it is very sad. It is confusing and really makes ya think about things. I think DH will come around. However i think he is really gonna push for a re-try. And thats ok. His feelings and desires mean everythign to me...I just need to make sure we are BOTH ready emotionally before we make that decision. I am still on fence :/

JulieMc · #15 September 30th, 2011, 07:57 PM

I just experienced my first m/c too, and I have two healthy babies. My bleeding lasted about 7 days heavy and a few more light days...so about 10 in all. It was really bright red blood most of the time.

I think it varies from person to person how we handle it. Personally, I couldn't bear to wait. I am already super anxious and am hoping my levels go down fast enough that things get back on track and I can aim for a June or July baby. Others need more time to take it all in and reevaluate. Do whatever feels right for you...

Sorry you are going through this.

sandiegomom · #16 October 1st, 2011, 02:10 PM

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss

I had a m/c in july and immediately got pregnant again....against my dr's advice. I have read on here there are quite a few people who get preg. right away and have healthy pregnancies....however, mine ended in M/C again. I went back to the dr. and he said people who have healthy pregnancies right after are not the norm. he said he has been doing this for 20 yrs and most, unfortunately, end in m/c if you don't wait for your body to recover. Even early m/c's. I was like, oh...well...the internet said,

.. i know better. i am an RN, but I just wanted it so bad and wanted it to happen and be the one that was ok. now, i am stuck waiting the 2 cycles like he says and that actually means i have to wait until april, due to my husband's deployment schedule. anyways, if i could give any advice, it would be to wait. i should have taken my own advice.

I hope you are able to recover very quickly and painlessly and again, so sorry you have to join this forum....but welcome. it has helped me a lot.

Ana*Addey*OliveMommy · #17 October 1st, 2011, 04:17 PM

Sorry for your loss. I had my loss in Aug of this year at 5 weeks 4 days. I only bled for about 5 days total if I remember right. We did try last month and had a chemical but we did not skip this month and I just Oed.

Good Luck! Welcome.

lindsey2000k · #18 October 2nd, 2011, 07:14 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. I followed your story in the May DDC.

My A/F would come about 6 weeks after my losses.
My DR says I do not have to wait, but 1 cycle I did end up pregnant the same cycle as the miscarriage and it ended ectopic and I wonder if I needed to wait for 1 A/F to clean things out and it might not have happen?

If they saw nothing on your ultrasound I would say you will not need a D&C.

Again I am so very sorry for your loss.

humnck · #19 October 3rd, 2011, 07:33 AM

I am ss for your loss! Welcome to the board, wish none of us had to be here, but this is a great group of ladies! I had to have a D&E back on Aug 19. I bled for about a week, I am pretty sure I o'd (based on my body) exactly 2w1d after the procedure and then AF showed exactly 2 w after that. However, I am now using OPK's for this cycle and still not a positive in site, although (TMI warning) last night CM seemed to say fertile! Cycles can be wacky after a loss for some. Anyways, my doc said to wait 2 cycles, we are waiting 1...we are sort of trying this cycle, but not really, whatever happens happens is what we are saying for this cycle, next we will actually start TTC. Allow yourself the time you need to heal emotionally, as others have said, the emotional can take longer than the physical, but you will know when you are ready. HUGS and again, welcome!

acchickpea · #20 October 3rd, 2011, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TyceBrielle

So far this is natural. I did go to ER because even tho i "knew" what was happeing, it happend so fast and out of nowhere! And i wanted to make sure it wasnt tubal. I went from very little brown spotting to literally keeling over in pain and passing huge blood clots. I was standing in my kitchen, all of a sudden i got cold sweats, felt like puking, my hands started shaking and my teeth started chattering, i felt like i was gonna pass out. So i went to bathroom, sat down and thats when everything happened. I looked down in complete shock. Very Scary! When i got to ER, on tuesday...my levels were 1850. Which is very low for 7 weeks, so thinking i probably lost the pregnancy earlier, it just took some time for my body to expell it. Anyway, they did an ultrasound and didnt even see a sac. Doctor said i either passed it or it never formed. I guess theres no way of really knowing. ... :/

TyceBrielle... So sorry that had to happen like that... My natural MC happened at home.. and similar to you I went to the bathroom and that's when it all passed. When you had your Ultrasound and there was no sac present that means that it passed so I'm questioning why you would have to schedule for a D&C. When I went in for an ultrasound they found no tissues and that I was clear to not go in for a D&C. Check with your dr. (Hugs)