:( blah

ninja_mommy · #1 October 17th, 2011, 06:51 AM

Last night was the first time we DTD since the m/c. It went alright, not the usual though. I just got really sad at the end and wanted to cry. It just reminds me of how we have to try again and how I already was pregnant, but lost the baby

Stupid hormones.
I know we all cope differently but does anybody want to share how they coped early on?

jay03 · #2 October 17th, 2011, 07:00 AM

So sorry for your loss.

I allowed myself time to cry I mean really cry. Then I found things to keep myself busy and held on to hope that the next time will stick!

Good Luck!!

acchickpea · #3 October 17th, 2011, 07:05 AM

You're going to make me cry too! I was in that situation also.... It was really hard to cope but time makes it better... I just kept on thinking forward and tried to stay positive... Mission Baby....

joanna26 · #4 October 17th, 2011, 07:16 AM

I just took it day by day and kept going. There were horrible days where I felt like hiding under the covers and crying all day and then good days where I functioned pretty normally. Over time the good days started outnumbering the bad days. Let yourself grieve however you need to right now sweetie, and know that it will get better

Hopefulpinkangel · #5 October 17th, 2011, 07:23 AM

I had to give myself a break from DTD. I just needed to come to terms with the loss first. That's just the only way I could deal. I cried . . a lot. This is our 3rd cycle since my loss and finally felt right enough to start trying again. It will get better.

.:Shortcake:. · #6 October 17th, 2011, 08:04 AM

I allowed myself to cry, I grieved my baby and I wrote down how I was feeling. Also talking to the ladies here really helped me. ((HUGS)) I am so very sorry for your loss.

~*Kel*~ · #7 October 17th, 2011, 08:12 AM

I cried for an hour after we dtd for the first time after my m/c. I wasn't expecting to be that emotional either. I haven'nt told anyone, not even dh, until now. I still have days when I cry in morning of the baby, but for the most part I try to keep my mind on the future and my rainbow baby.

cheeky_monkey · #8 October 17th, 2011, 08:43 AM

If it can be of any help, after more than 8 months there are still days when I cry for my little baby.

At the time I refused to anything related to dtd. Could not even give a hug to DH

Even though you did it and now might feel like taking a break from it, there's nothing wrong. Just take all the time you need

Nia1978 · #9 October 17th, 2011, 08:56 AM

I almost cried the first time I had sex after the miscarriage as well. Every now and them I tear up thinking about the miscarriage, but I dealt with it by telling my best friend what happened, talking to people that had already had miscarriages, and joining this forum! All of those this helped a lot.

humnck · #10 October 17th, 2011, 09:09 AM

I experienced the same thing, I just told myself that something must have been wrong and the time wasn't right for me to have a baby (cliche and what people tell us, but we won't listen) - I listen to myself much better than anyone else

I actually felt better when I talked about the loss, it helped with closure I think and helped me to move on. I still get upset every now and then and keep thinking, I should be about 22 weeks and showing and blah, blah, but then I tell myself, things have a way of working themselves out. YOu have to let yourself go through the stages however you need to, cry, don't DTD, etc, whatever makes you feel the best! I can tell you that time does help with the healing process. I went back to work and tried to keep my mind busy, I also really found this board especially helpful!

HUGS and I hope you feel better soon!

junie22 · #11 October 17th, 2011, 09:32 AM

Oh, Nena, I'm so sorry. I can't really offer words of advice, but I'm sending you virtual

.

BeckyBozeman · #12 October 17th, 2011, 12:00 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss... the ladies above have given some really great advice.

I remember that I did cry the first time we DTD after our loss... Crying is such a normal, cleansing thing....

Hugs

Ana*Addey*OliveMommy · #13 October 17th, 2011, 12:11 PM

Sorry for you loss. I cried for a month after our loss after we DTD.

ninja_mommy · #14 October 17th, 2011, 12:19 PM

Thanks ladies. I was ready to DTD, I guess I wasn't thinking the train of thoughts it would set off---> sex=pregnancy=baby= me not anymore.
I have been talking to people about it and that definitely helps too. I know the pain will never fully go away and that bugs me

roziecakes · #15 October 17th, 2011, 01:26 PM

I've cried a couple of times after DTD since the m/c. The first time (and this is a little TMI, but appropriate) was when I thought the bleeding was done, so we DTD, and afterward there was a little blood on DH, and it REALLY upset me. It was this horrible reminder to me of what had just happened, and that in that moment I couldn't enjoy something beautiful about being with him. I cried for a long time that evening.

For me what has helped me to cope is journaling, just allowing myself to grieve and talking to my mom. She has been my rock through this. My mom has had a couple of m/c herself, including one at 5 months in between my sister and I, so she has been really helpful.

I understand how you're feeling, and I'm sending you big hugs!