Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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October 20th, 2011, 08:36 PM
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Hopes To Be A Mommy
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 851
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So tonight I finally gave in and tested! AND I got a very dark BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But... on the sad note... I dont think Its gonna end in a baby.
I had a dream few days ago I got a BFP and then started bleeding.
I wasnt taking my baby aspirin and BARELY started my progesterone.
My boobs have been killing me lately and tonight they arent.
I have been working out like crazy.
Im crying because I dont think its gonna make it. Already. Im like already ready to check add angel baby number 4 to the list...
My husband is so MAD I am thinking like this I just cant help it.
I am excited... dont get me wrong... but I just know how this usually ends.
Blah. Im such a downer.
I am going to call my midwife ASAP in the morning see if I can get HCG numbers done ASAP.
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Preparing for our rainbow baby girl Avalynn June!
My Angels: Sep 16th, 2010. Nov 22nd, 2010. Jan 29th, 2011.
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October 20th, 2011, 08:41 PM
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Expecting #1
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 7,997
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October 20th, 2011, 08:42 PM
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Super Mommy
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chicago!
Posts: 777
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Aw hun congrats! You never know what will happen, try to stay as positive as possible, this could very well be your rainbow baby! That is a really nice dark line, so I think this is it. Can't wait to hear your awesome numbers and watch your pregnancy ticker.  Very sticky baby dust! 
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Surprise! We're Pregnant! Always Remembering Our Baby Angels
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October 20th, 2011, 09:19 PM
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Surprise! We're Pregnant!
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Dover, DE
Posts: 5,343
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Congrats on the BFP!!!!!!!!!
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October 20th, 2011, 09:20 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Colorado.
Posts: 2,841
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That is an AWESOME line! I dont even think I have ever seen such a good line lol. I completely understand your worries, it's so hard not to be. But dreams are just our own worries and subconsciousness going into our thought and dreams- maybe your body and instincts already knew your were pregnant and you fears kicked in and caused you to have that dream. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. KUP 
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October 21st, 2011, 12:10 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,078
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That's so great Kayla!! Hang on to the fact that you are pregnant RIGHT NOW and while that's true there's hope!
Congratulations!!
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October 21st, 2011, 01:26 AM
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It's me
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,066
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Congrats!
How far along are you?
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October 21st, 2011, 02:55 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 14,553
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Congrats Kayla! Start on the progesterone & baby aspirin and yes call your doctor Don't give up on your little one!!!
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October 21st, 2011, 04:28 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: the mountain state
Posts: 9,451
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that is one heck of a dark BFP! that Baby wants to be here! *hugs*
I am praying this is it for you!
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October 21st, 2011, 04:49 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,189
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 That is a beautiful BFP!!! I agree with the others...try not to worry! Just take your meds and get in touch with your midwife. I'm sure you'll feel much better once you meet with her!
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October 21st, 2011, 05:03 AM
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Veteran
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 216
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Beautiful line! I know it's hard, but try not to worry (says she who checks the toilet paper every time she wipes). I barely have any pregnancy symptoms myself, only slightly sore bbs. Congrats!!
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October 21st, 2011, 05:08 AM
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Nov 2012 DDC Co-Host
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 5,313
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That line is awesome!!! How many dpo are you? I know it's so hard to not just assume it isn't going to work out, but you've got to think positive for your litle bean. I bet you get some good numbers with a nice dark line like that! Congrats!
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October 21st, 2011, 06:03 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,285
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start everything now! And don't worry about the dreams. I had several early on this time that I started bleeding. Ones that were so realistic they had me running to the bathroom to check in the middle of the night. It's just anxiety talking!
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Waiting for our ELF to get here!
Thank you .:Shortcake:.!! for my awesome siggy!
My Forever Babies- 07/20087.5 weeks, 10/2008 4.5 weeks 12/2008 4 weeks 06/2009 our twin 7.5 weeks 08/2010 4 weeks 10/2010 Mr. Spud 9.5 weeks 04/2011 twins 6 weeks
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October 21st, 2011, 06:24 AM
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Wookie's Girl
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,491
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Congrats! That is a VERY dark line! Stay positive girl, I know it is hard, but stress is not good for you or the baby.
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Link to my belly pics: 
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
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October 21st, 2011, 07:14 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: IL
Posts: 5,019
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 That line is awesome! Try to think positive and don't stress yourself out! I was just talking with a woman who had 3 m/c in a row and was pg a 4th time. She refused to go to the doctor until she was about 22 weeks because she was so sure the baby wasn't going to make it. Her little girl is 8 now! Don't give up!
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October 21st, 2011, 08:05 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4,365
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I know how you feel! I was always so negative when I got BFPs!. If it makes you feel better, I only had a line that dark with my successful pregnancy!
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Erica, Mom to Peter. TTC#2 after 13 losses
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October 21st, 2011, 08:23 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 3,800
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Big HUGS sweetie! First of all congratulations  Secondly please try not to give up yet and just try to enjoy the fact that you are pregnant. I know it must be incredibly hard but why stress/freakout until you have to, KWIM?
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October 21st, 2011, 08:23 AM
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Bébé Cowgirl
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,638
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congrats!!!! it's a great line and i understand your fear...i had dozen of dreams i was having a m/c with Savannah's pregnancy and we'll be celebrating her 2nd bday soon. I know nothing will keep you from worrying, but try to relax and focus on the now - right now you're very, very pregnant  I hope you're able to get in to do betas and give yourself some comfort on hcg levels. HUGS
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Lara
Under The Sea Savannah!
Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d)
10/18/2011 (@8w5d)
2/12/2012 (@4w3d)
~It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. ~ Oscar Wilde
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October 21st, 2011, 08:28 AM
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Weiner Dogs Rock!
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Maryland
Posts: 7,682
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I had a dream I gave birth to a cat...a really ugly hairless one. And yet I had a gorgeous (very not cat-like) little boy. Dreams don't mean anything...they are anxiety, worry, events taken out of context and played out in your subconscious. I had MANY dreams that I lost my rainbow baby, almost nightly for the first few weeks. I used to wake up crying, panting, and flipping out. I even once had a dream that I killed my living child (which I am assuming was something of the fear of losing a child I was attached to). I really would not put any stock into what you dream. Look at the tangibles...your breasts ARE sore (it varies day-to-day how sore, I remember that) and your line is incredibly dark. You are on progesterone (I didn't start mine til I was already pregnant for about 4 weeks) and starting aspirin. You are obviously pretty emotional (perhaps the crying is to do with hormones?!). I would venture to say with a line that color, your betas are well over 100. If not higher. Congrats. And try to stay positive. You can handle whatever comes your way. I think it might be in the form of a cute, squeaky newborn who keeps you up at night 
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Big thanks to tasha_mae for my perfect siggy!
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October 21st, 2011, 09:22 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 13,404
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Congratulations on a super duper dark line! Praying that this bean proves you wrong, and sticks for 9 long months!
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I am bawling my eyes out. (Preg ment)
