[cheeky_monkey]

Sorry guys I have been keeping a low profile lately but I am still in a dark place and I do not want to be the one who is always down and so on but today my world has crashed again.

Went to the monthly OB visit and he found only a small follie (it's only a 1.65 one and he does not trigger unless it is 1.8 or over) and my lining is really thin - only a 5. He told me to wait 2 days and then trigger just in case but I'm going for another follie scan at hospital tomorrow. If there will be no change I do not think that I am going to trigger coz it would be in vain. He also told me that if I do get pregnant I would have a bigger chance of miscarrying.

I feel like my world has crashed again. I really do not know what I am doing wrong

Also, now it's definite - no more clomid for me. I had massive headaches this month. He wants to switch me to Gonal F but we're going to try soy for a month. I have been putting so much fake hormones and things in my body that I think it does need a break.

[missy123]

Dont hide from us just because you are sad. When you are down is when you should be here more than ever. We are here for you!!

How many cycles of clomid did you do? So you know, clomid was not my friend at all. It basically thinned my lining so bad that I never had a chance. 1 month my lining was a 3! 3 I tell you!

I would not take the soy next month either (unless you are going to be monitored with ultrasound). The reason I say that is because there are no real studies out there with soy and the lining. With it acting like clomid it may just thin you out again. I would do a natural cycle and give your body a 1 month rest. (just my 2 cents)

(((hugs))) It is all so hard.

[*SamF*]

I'm sorry things aren't looking better! Goanl F and Follisitm were exactly what I needed, and I hope they help you too!

I agree with Missy, taking a month or so off sounds like a good idea, but I wouldn't do soy. Let your body build itself back without any interference.

[cheeky_monkey]

I know missy but with so many people managing to get pregnant and being so happy it is sooooooooooooo hard to come in here at times. I hate to admit it coz it's so not me but I am soooooooooo jealous of all the pregnant ladies.

I don't know what cycle it was. I think around 6 or 7 though. Yes I am going to be monitored. I have to go mid cycle for another TVUS. Hopefully soy, since it is made out of natural things, will help my body to regenerate a bit in a natural way.

Sam I did Follistim already and it was a big bust. By the time I went in for the trigger my follies had shrunk. When I'll do Gonal F next time going to inject every day, unlike with Follistim when I had to inject every other day. I do not have much faith that injectibles can actually work for me.

If I let my body work on its own steam nothing will happen coz we've already tried that.i have pcos and endo so my body is not in a tip top position and it needs all the help it can get. I feel sooooooooooooo broken inside.

[ninja_mommy]

Sorry I don't have any advice to offer, but I can give a

[cheeky_monkey]

Thanks sweet. i really feel like I need a lot of hugs now

[acchickpea]

many hugs to you...
clomid really thins the lining????? never knew that....

[cheeky_monkey]

thanks

Yes it can do that to the lining. This is the first time that it has happened to me. Usually I have a very thick lining, but this time it's quite the opposite.

[LindseyE117]

I am unsure if soy thins the lining, but I know it helped us and a few others on the boards. It doesn't hurt to try, but Missy is right, maybe they can just monitor a normal cycle with soy to see how it goes. I took mine days 5 through 9. Good luck! Keep faith.

[cheeky_monkey]

Lindsey maybe you can help since you took it. The soy isoflavone i bought are 910mg. On the side of the pack there is written that each tablet contains

Soy isoflavone complex 910mg
Total Soy Isoflavone 100mg

Clomid I used to take 150mg so how much do I have to take? I mean each pill is 910 mg or 100mg?I'm so confused. OB does not really support this idea but he's allowing me to try but I have to find my own doses. I know that I have to take 300mg of it (so that it will be double the clomid dosage) but I do not know if I have to take 1 pill or 3?

[FL Mama]

I'm really lost on all those terms and procedures, but I just wanted to send lots of hugs your way. I'm so sorry you feel so lost and confused.

[cheeky_monkey]

Thanks Heather.... I really appreciate it

[3Sapphires]

big *hugs*

I know exactly how you feel - people are passing me then lapping me, and it sucks big time.

I really hope the soy does the trick for you.

[cheeky_monkey]

Thanks Ami.

I know what you must be feeling. In a few weeks it will be a year since we conceived our little bean. I had hoped that at least by now i would have at least been pregnant again. Ugh life really sucks

[junie22]

Ditto the girls sending hugs. I can't offer advice, but here is a giant virtual

[Zoey1981]

I don't know anything about fertility meds but sending you lots of hugs! And prayers that you will get your rainbow baby soon. My heart breaks for you.

[cheeky_monkey]

Thanks girls.

I don't know what is going on in there. It seems like my body is trying to O but I can't understand how since the follie is so small

[doremi]

I am so sorry. And I totally get feeling like you need to stay away from here... all the BFP's (as wonderful as they are) this month kind of put me in a bad place. I haven't been checking in quite as regularly because of it. Thinking of you, and praying that you find the right combination of things to make your dream of a rainbow baby a reality.

[cheeky_monkey]

Thanks doremi. That is why I have been keeping a low profile. I am very happy for every single lady who got her bfp but at the same time I am so jealous. I can't understand what I am doing wrong. I have been risking my eye sight for these past three months (coz after the last big scare, every single month I've had a few seconds scare every month).

Today we went for another follie scan. The nurse said that it has grown a bit. From 1.65 she found it 1.77 (don't know why but before she left I want to double check with her and she said 1.7 only). I hope that the first measurement was right. Lining is still thin 0.535 but she said that if I do manage to get pregnant I still have a chance that it would stick. I don't know if I even should start to get some hope back. Yesterday I had loads ewcm (which usually is impossible for me) so I really don't know what is going on in there.

[StaceygirlPa]

I am sorry you are going through. Sending you lots of hugs.