Do you have any keepsakes from your loss/losses?

Lindz253 · #1 October 31st, 2011, 05:55 AM

One thing I beat myself up about is not asking for an US pic of the baby. I was lucky that while the baby was alive at my 8 week appt I had an US and saw him moving away in there. I didn't ask for a pic then because it wasn't a real US, the doc was just being nice and letting me have a sneak peak. Then at my 16 week appt when they did the US to confirm he had no heartbeat I thought for a minute to ask for a picture but felt dumb for some reason. Eventhough I know he wasn't alive at that time it still would have been nice to have something to look at. It breaks my heart I didn't just ask for a stupid picture. The only thing I have to actual hold and look at is my hospital bracelet.

Is there anything you have done to remember the baby, a keepsake or something? Id love an idea of something I could do. One thing I am going to do is once we figure out a name for him I want to get the first letter with angel wings stamped on to a circle for my necklace. I have a letter for my girls and one for my and DH that I wear on a necklace so I for sure want to add him to that.

cheeky_monkey · #2 October 31st, 2011, 06:08 AM

The only keepsake I have is my 9 week 1 day u/s pic when we found out that his little heart had stopped beating. (I'm refering to him as a boy as my gut feeling has always leaned towards boy). Also, when I close my eyes I can still see his little heart beating during the 7 weeks 1 day u/s. The OB's printer was in for repairs so he couldn't give us a pic. Don't know if the latter is a keepsake though coz I can also remember what the sac looked like when it came out

mummy4 · #3 October 31st, 2011, 06:29 AM

Yes i have lots of keepsakes of my dd, i have photos, hand and foot prints and a lock of her hair, i keep them altogether so i dont lose them

My oh has her foot print tatooed on his chest very close to his heart which is really nice too

I planted a sweet dreams rose bush at my mums house and she takes care of it as i am not green fingered at all and whenever im there i like to look at it and remember my baby

FL Mama · #4 October 31st, 2011, 06:34 AM

With my first loss, the only u/s I had was the one at 12wks that determined the baby had no HB. It was done at an independent place (doc's office had no u/s machine due to Hurricane Charley) so the tech couldn't tell me anything. I didn't find out what was going on for about another hour. It does seem morbid to have a picture of a baby that has passed on, but I still wish I had one. The only thing I have is a little pair of baby slippers that a friend had bought me when she found out I was pregnant. They are pink and very girly. I have no idea if the baby actually was a girl, but I have always held on to them. My only tangible item from that pregnancy.

With my most recent loss I had had an u/s at 10wks to date my pregnancy and my doc gave me 2 pics. I did have the stillbirth, but I did not take a picture of the baby. There are reasons for that choice, but I won't get into that. Anyway, the only other thing I have is an Honorary Birth Certificate that the hospital gave me. We could not tell the sex of the baby, so it just says 'Baby Johnson', but it's something. Anyway, on Friday I took my 2 u/s pics and the Honorary Birth Cert. to a custom framing shop to be matted and framed. I've been really paranoid about leaving my stuff with them, but I'm also excited to see how it turns out.

Sorry if I rambled.

missy123 · #5 October 31st, 2011, 06:39 AM

Yes, I have each of my babies registered at the Shrine of the Holy Innocents. It is a church in NY, NY that has a book of life. You can register your baby and they will send you a certificate as well as place your baby in the book. The first Monday of each month they hold a special candle ceremony and pray over our babies.

The Church of the Holy Innocents

I have taken the certificates along with any ultrasound pictures and made scrapbook pages that I hold dear to my heart.

pepper73 · #6 October 31st, 2011, 07:10 AM

I never got far enough to have an U/S. The only thing I have is a pic of my +HPT. I can't look at it though. It makes me too sad. At some point, I think I'll have some kind of memorial tattoo done.

Missy, that Shrine of the Holy Innocents is wonderful!! I am definitely going to register my little angel baby! Thank you for sharing that!

missy123 · #7 October 31st, 2011, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pepper73

I never got far enough to have an U/S. The only thing I have is a pic of my +HPT. I can't look at it though. It makes me too sad. At some point, I think I'll have some kind of memorial tattoo done.

Missy, that Shrine of the Holy Innocents is wonderful!! I am definitely going to register my little angel baby! Thank you for sharing that!

I hope it helps you sweetie. The certificates I have received along with knowing that my babies are being remembered has helped me heal a little.

ninja_mommy · #8 October 31st, 2011, 07:35 AM

My loss was so early that I really didn't have any keepsakes besides my FRER's. We will be planting a tree of some sort on my original DD, it's too cold right now to plant something

L-SBB · #9 October 31st, 2011, 07:38 AM

HUGS

I beat myself up similarly with my first loss because (we thought) the u/s went great and we saw the beautiful little hb...what the u/s tech didn't tell us was that it was already measuring slow, so Dr delivered the bad news minutes after we'd been so thrilled and I also didn't think to ask for a picture at the time I was so upset.

DH & I ended up choosing an ornament (a handblown star) to remember our LO, and we hang it on the tree together each year...I've seen some other great ideas (little necklaces, statues) but since our loss was closer to the holidays the ornament just fit at the time.

I hope you find something that brings you comfort. KUP on what you choose...

pepper73 · #10 October 31st, 2011, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy123

I hope it helps you sweetie. The certificates I have received along with knowing that my babies are being remembered has helped me heal a little.

Yes, I think it's a wonderful way to help remember and heal. I just need to figure out a name. Since I lost my baby at 6 weeks, I don't know the sex. I guess I can just name it Angel Baby or something like that.

missy123 · #11 October 31st, 2011, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pepper73

Yes, I think it's a wonderful way to help remember and heal. I just need to figure out a name. Since I lost my baby at 6 weeks, I don't know the sex. I guess I can just name it Angel Baby or something like that.

I named one of mine Angel baby (my last name)

3Sapphires · #12 October 31st, 2011, 09:10 AM

I don't have anything other than the angel snow globe I purchased. My baby was gone at my 8wk u/s. I didn't think to ask for one and even if I had I was so enraged I probably would have thrown it out. I deleted all my BFP pics as soon as I started bleeding.

I still don't know if I would want a picture, I still can't even bring myself to look at the big brother t-shirts I made for the boys. Luckily I loved them when I discovered them while un packing and I am not sure where I put them.

I did name my angel baby, I didn't know the sex either, but I chose the name Azra, it is Hebrew and from my understanding means pure.

roziecakes · #13 October 31st, 2011, 09:24 AM

I have a picture of my U/S. It's really hard to look at, but I am glad I have it. Also, I am going to get a tattoo around my ankle in honor of my baby. I found this quote that I love that says "An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birt,. Then whispered as she closed the book,. "Too beautiful for Earth."

I'm getting the words "Too beautiful for Earth" around my ankle.

Lindz253 · #14 October 31st, 2011, 09:54 AM

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts/ideas/stories with me. It means a lot. I love the Shrine of the Holy Innocents idea, Im definitely going to do that.

cheeky_monkey · #15 October 31st, 2011, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy123

Yes, I have each of my babies registered at the Shrine of the Holy Innocents. It is a church in NY, NY that has a book of life. You can register your baby and they will send you a certificate as well as place your baby in the book. The first Monday of each month they hold a special candle ceremony and pray over our babies.

The Church of the Holy Innocents

I have taken the certificates along with any ultrasound pictures and made scrapbook pages that I hold dear to my heart.

I wish we had something similar over here. All we get is a place in the cemetry for those baby who are born stillborn and for those babies who are miscarried but there are still pieces of them. Mine spent too much time inside for anything to survive enough to be given a chance of burial. It still makes me feel restless to know that the tiny fragments that were left were 'disposed of in a humane way' = burnt I guess

ladysakura721 · #16 October 31st, 2011, 11:40 AM

with my last loss i have a u/s pictur it was a baby girl i found out through keriotyping not sure if i spelled that right the hospital also gave me the option of burial or registering the loss with the state i declinde both i was so upset i couldnt even think of planing a funeral for my daughter and we both agreed it wasnt fair to be able to do that for one child when we were never given the option with our other daughters that we lost and they were all at the same point in pregnancy

SkyBaby · #17 October 31st, 2011, 01:07 PM

I have one of those little silver kid necklaces with the birthstone of the month we lost our baby on (July). I found out I was pregnant and was completely overjoyed and DH was too when the shock wore off. 12 days after finding out, I miscarried. I was only around 6 weeks. I also still have my positive tests from that pregnancy. I can't bring myself to throw those away, even though I'm close to delivering our healthy little girl over 2 years later.

Our baby's remains are sitting in my septic tank right now. I still beat myself up sometimes for not burying him (gut feeling he was a boy). I was not in my right mind.

My cousin buried her early loss with our grandmother during her funeral. She brought along a small box with her baby's remains and slipped the box in grandma's hands after seeking permission from the rest of our family. She, like me, lost her first baby very early on.

.:Shortcake:. · #18 October 31st, 2011, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missy123

Yes, I have each of my babies registered at the Shrine of the Holy Innocents. It is a church in NY, NY that has a book of life. You can register your baby and they will send you a certificate as well as place your baby in the book. The first Monday of each month they hold a special candle ceremony and pray over our babies.

The Church of the Holy Innocents

I have taken the certificates along with any ultrasound pictures and made scrapbook pages that I hold dear to my heart.

I also did this and I have the certificates. With our first loss our baby boy Noah Allen, we named him and I have his ultrasound pictures in frames now. I also have 2 tattoos for my babies. I have some jewelry from this place

*GIFT IDEAS* | Remembrance Jewelry-Memorial Keepsakes

I also have ornaments for our Christmas tree from here:

Pregnancy And Infant Loss Ornament | Pregnancy And Infant Loss Christmas & Holiday Ornaments | Unique - CafePress

vrock · #19 October 31st, 2011, 01:54 PM

My mom found this perfect angel statue. I like having it because everytime I look at it I can remember him. I also named him. I was so upset after the miscarriage I threw away all of the positive HPTs that I had.

BeckyBozeman · #20 October 31st, 2011, 03:39 PM

I didn't get pictures of either of the u/s we had with my loss. But the weekend after our loss we went camping and said our own goodbye. I have a flower from the camping spot that I pressed and put into a frame that I had engraved. It lives on my dresser in our room. I still have the two HPT's from that pregnancy too and plan to do something with them eventually...