New(er) to this board (loss mentioned)

TKbunny · #1 November 2nd, 2011, 10:34 PM

Hello, ladies! I'm newer to this board, I've posted a bit but I forgot to really introduce myself here, unless you count the Roll Call at the top. Just thought I'd say a proper hello and tell you a little about me.

Please know that this is a sad story, so please don't read on if it will cause you stress, I don't wish that on anyone. I am only sharing my path to help others know they are not alone.

I'm Tina (31), DH, Jared (soon 30). No children as of yet. Our first little one was blessed to us early June but I didn't know about it until I started having 'periods' every other week. I took a HPT and found out I was pg. But the ER told me I was having a m/c. But imagine our surprise when my beta levels kept going up instead of down when I went to the OB. Turned out it was eptopic, not a m/c. I was given the Methotrexate shot July 13, just over 5w along. I felt tortured. I didn't want to do it. But I knew I must. 2 weeks later my tube ruptured anyways, nearly killing me before they could stop the bleeding. Needless to say, I felt I deserved it for ending the pregnancy, that's how depressed I was. After going home I cried for days. I came here, looking for support, and you ladies were wonderful

But I knew I needed more help, so after speaking with a few of you, I took your advice and went to see someone to help me work through the pain. It worked very well for me. I learned it wasn't my fault, and I was not being punished, it was simply a loss I couldn't control.

I'm much better now, happy and ready to TTC #1 once more. I'm in my first cycle, TTC and excited. I wish all of you healing thoughts, prayers and lots of love as you all work through your own losses and take time to remember. I love the community here. You're all a great source of strength. Bless you all

MillerMom2b · #2 November 3rd, 2011, 03:54 AM

Hi Tina. Thank you for for sharing your story...I'm so sorry you had to go through that! My sister had an ectopic and I remember her pain. She went on to have 2 healthy twin boys. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon!

.:Shortcake:. · #3 November 3rd, 2011, 04:23 AM

Welcome back. I'm glad you got the help you needed and are ready to try again!

junie22 · #4 November 3rd, 2011, 05:50 AM

Good to see you on this board, too, Tina.

ninja_mommy · #5 November 3rd, 2011, 06:52 AM

I can't imagine how scary that would be

Glad you found the help you needed. Welcome back, I hope your stay here is short lived!

Cait&AngelAbove · #6 November 3rd, 2011, 06:53 AM

I am so sorry for your loss! I hope you get your rainbow baby soon!!!

acchickpea · #7 November 3rd, 2011, 08:41 AM

HUGS to you. Good Luck TTC!

joanna26 · #8 November 3rd, 2011, 09:41 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss sweetie

Good for you for getting help and welcome back to the board

Lindz253 · #9 November 3rd, 2011, 10:25 AM

I am so sorry for your loss and Im glad to hear you arn't blaming yourself anymore and ready to move forward for something you just couldn't control. I wish you the best of luck!!!