Been gone, started a blog (x-posted)

FL Mama · #1 November 14th, 2011, 07:57 PM

Hi, ladies. I've been gone for a couple weeks. I guess the shock and disbelief of my loss really wore off and coming here became hard. I'm still not sure that I'm totally ready to be back. I can't even bring myself to lurk right now. I know you all can understand. I really stopped by to check-in and say 'Hello' and let you know I'm okay...relatively.

Some of my FB friends have encouraged me to share my loss story in detail. I didn't want to do it on FB, so I started a blog. I posted my stillbirth story last night. If you are interested in reading it, the link is in my siggy. If you have siggies turned off, here it is: My Blog. It's not an easy read, as I have been told, but those same people appreciated being able to read it. Not all details are in there because I don't think that they all need to be included. One specific detail I have only shared with my husband and my mother and I will likely never speak of it again. But, this is the story, in its entirety as I want to share it. It's almost 4,000 words long, and if you get through it I would love it if you left a comment. Something short and simple will suffice. I still need that support, yk?

Just know that I have not abandoned all of you, and I do miss you. I hope you all are well, and having fun times in this pre-holiday season. XOXO!

ninja_mommy · #2 November 14th, 2011, 08:32 PM

I did read your story. Thank you for sharing it. It didn't feel right to leave a comment on your blog since I don't know you very well.
I do want to say that you are an incredibly strong woman. I know that you can never fully be healed from this pain but I pray that you can come to peace with everything on your own terms. We are all here for you

roziecakes · #3 November 14th, 2011, 09:50 PM

I just read your story. You are amazing. I am so in awe of your strength. I'm not sure how I would have handled something like that. I think it's amazing that after all that you were brave enough to not only see your baby, but to regard the baby with so much love. I am inspired by you, but so sorry for your loss. Many hugs. Thank you for taking the time and effort to write that and to share your story.

FL Mama · #4 November 14th, 2011, 10:52 PM

Thank you both for reading my small novel. Comments were requested, but not demanded. it's fine if you didn't leave one. You commented here, and it's all the same to me. I did, and am still doing, my best. Thanks for being here for me. I will be back on a regular basis when I am ready. I still think of you all and hope your TTC journey is going well. I'm still waiting for mine to start again.

Lindz253 · #5 November 15th, 2011, 02:40 AM

I posted a comment on your blog but just wanted to say how amazing you are. I couldn't imagine birthing my baby and especially doing it alone. I had a DandC at 16 weeks and I will admit after reading your story Im glad I was able to be detached a bit from what was happening (meaning not going through a birth). I just couldn't imagine pushing and going through that. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful angel and I wish you the best of luck in the future.

.:Shortcake:. · #6 November 15th, 2011, 03:34 AM

I replied on your blog but also wanted to tell you hear thank you for sharing your story

pepper73 · #7 November 15th, 2011, 05:53 AM

I left a comment and am still in a bit of shock. I was in tears reading your story. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that.

junie22 · #8 November 15th, 2011, 01:22 PM

I just read and commented. I wanted to read it yesterday, but I just wasn't in the right frame of mind. I'm so glad that I read it today, though. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.