MIL venting!

MillerMom2b · #1 November 25th, 2011, 02:34 PM

I had everyone at my house this year for thanksgiving. I wanted everyone there for 2. About 215 I was wondering why my BIL and SIL. Weren't there yet. My FIL proceeded to tell me that they got into an argument a few days earlier with my MIL.

A little background....My SIL in march of 2008 lost her baby boy when he was 4days old. She has never been quite the same, and it is still hard for here around the holidays. Understandably.

Back to the story.... Apparently my MIL told my SIL that she needs to "get over it already". Are you kidding me? How insensitive could one person be. I'm really hoping that that is not want she meant and that it just came out wrong. But really? My SIL did end up coming yesterday, when she came in, I brought her to a private room and just gave her a big hug.. Of course we both ended up crying! Uuuugh! I mean do you ever get over such a thing? That's impossible!

I'm still so mad at her for saying such a thing. Sorry i had to come here and vent!

junie22 · #2 November 25th, 2011, 02:38 PM

Oh, that makes me so sad.

How wonderful that you were able to be there for her, though. And that you two can be there for each other. I'm sure your MIL didn't mean to sound so harsh. I do see the validity in her expressing the need to find closure and look to the future, but not just "get over it already." That's super insensitive.

Big hugs to you both.

MillerMom2b · #3 November 25th, 2011, 02:52 PM

You put it so well. I think part of the problem is no one talks about it. His memory should be honored in a positive way. I understand that sometimes people don't know what to say. Its hard, I think I'm the only one who considers her to be a mom, even though he is no longer living.

K.A.T · #4 November 25th, 2011, 03:00 PM

Oh man talk about poor choice of words. You can't just "get over it already." There will be good days and bad days. The holidays are going to be super hard on her. I'm glad you were able to be there for her.

ericswife11 · #5 November 26th, 2011, 01:30 PM

man, thats awful. I can timagine how your SIL is dealing with such a loss. I know having a M/C has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with I would never want to be in those shoes. Big hugs to both of you! BUt I can relate in a way. People who have not experienced a loss of a child will never understand. People say oh its for the best to me sometimes about my M/Cs in the sense that they could of suffered in life but its not what i want to hear. Losing a child is never "for the best" and you certainly never "just get over it already"