[missy123]

I know it must be hard for some of you to see my rainbow baby and I try not to talk about her in here. I know how hard it hurts to see others pregnant or with newborns when that is all you want in life is what they have.

I remember after my 3rd loss (the cervical ectopic) I had to go to Walmart for some maxi-pads. I remember seeing an older (40+) woman with a huge pregnant belly and me just feeling so much emotional pain that I almost physically passed out right in the store. I wanted her belly, I wanted to be her, I wanted what she had. My belly was empty - cleaned out by a D&C and she had this gift inside her.

Everyone thinks that once you get pregnant that all of the pain and jealousy goes away. That is not necessarily the case. I have learned to deal with the emotions that come from missing what should have been but there are times I still cry out in pain. My oldest angel baby would have been born this week. I am so very grateful for Scarlett but at the same time morn her sibling who never made it to earth and would be 2.

Megan (meganmomof5) posted a really cool article today on facebook and it hit home for me. I hope it will give some comfort to at least one of you to know the jealousy and pain you feel for others is something most of us go through after a loss.

Dealing with pregnant friends & babies | Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope

Much love to all of you.

[junie22]

[.:Shortcake:.]

Missy thank you so much for posting this. While in public I do find it especially hard seeing others having what I want so desperately. Here it's different. The ladies of Pregnancy & Motherhood After Loss know my pain, they know what it's like and they deserve their rainbow babies.

[BeckyBozeman]

Ditto ^^^^

I generally do okay with seeing pregnant ladies and babies, although I do get a twinge of jealousy. I'm nothing but excited for the ladies of this board though, and love the fact that so many of the ladies that were here when I started posting have graduated and will have their rainbow babies.

I do get incredibly sad and angry though when I see people who don't appreciate or treat their children well, or people getting pregnant that don't have the means or maturity to be good parents.

When I'm here and I hear about ladies getting pregnant and having their rainbow babies, it gives me hope and makes me look forward to the day when I'm in that spot. We'll all get there...

[Lindz253]

THanks for sharing!

[BabyLover]

I'll have to check out the article. I have four pregnant friends and my sister just had her baby today. I'm overjoyed for my new niece, of course, but it makes me sad at the same time. DH and I went to Ikea over the weekend and I swear there were like 50 pregnant ladies there.

[doremi]

I totally agree... when one of the long timers from TTCAL gets their rainbow baby, I feel nothing but joy. I'm so happy for you Missy! That being said, I've been having a hard time lately dealing with pregnancy news from close friends. One of them is due on the exact same day I was due with my most recent loss. The other is pregnant with baby #2 and "couldn't believe it, we only had sex one time and we got pregnant". Ouch... that one always stings. Not that I'm struggling with infertility... we have a fairly easy time getting pregnant, but we're having trouble staying pregnant. Thanks for the link... I'm off to read it now!

[SillyKitty]

What a great article, Missy. I remember walking around Downtown Disney right after my second loss, and it seemed like every woman there was pregnant. I could barely bring myself to stay there with my family.

I would like to add that once, many years ago, I was one of those teenage moms who got pregnant. We were using double birth control and still got pregnant. Our second daughter was also conceived easily, the second month of trying. We used to joke that all my husband had to do was look at me to get me pregnant. Who knew that we would go on to experience difficulty getting and staying pregnant? I never thought I would feel that type of heartbreak, but I did. I would never wish pregnancy loss on anyone, but any of those ladies that are currently easily pregnant may go on in the future to know your pain, at least to a small degree.

[RootBudSkyTree]

Thanks for posting! I have been struggling with this!

[luvmykids623]

This is a great article! Dealing with the emotions that come with losses and infertility is so hard especially when you constantly feel like you're surrounded by pregnant people and babies. Even after you get a bfp or have your rainbow baby it doesn't go away. I wish no one had to know what it's like, especially the amazing ladies here and in P&MAL.

[TKbunny]

I totally agree. When you've been through something like losing a baby, it does make it hard out in the world to see others with what we want. But here, I find it's easier to feel very happy for those of us who have also struggled, suffered and then been blessed. We know how much we all want a baby and I think it gives us hope to see someone who's known our pain personally be given the blessing they so deserve. I'm so thankful you got your rainbow baby I know we'll all get ours some day. Thank you for sharing your joy and the article with us

[LittleMomma09]

I agree with everyone! It is very hard sometimes to hear close friends talk about there pregnancies and what not. With me I get a rage feeling everything I see one of my friends post how happy she is on facebook and I would normally be very happy for her, but she won't get off of pills!

On the other hand it is a different feeling that happens when someone on this board wishes come true. I can't not be overly happy for them!

Thanks for sharing your story and the article!

[cdukes2010]

Thank you for posting this! Like some of the other ladies have said it absolutely is a blessing when someone here gets their rainbow baby but I've been having trouble with those that don't understand what a loss is like.

Right now the hard part for me is seeing pregnant women and hearing them complain about such silly things. What I really want to do is say "enjoy every moment of what you are experiencing, some of us would kill to have the ignorant bliss of being pregnant for the first time with no complications and not knowing just what can go wrong."

I wish you luck on your journey, as you said I'm sure that being pregnant again doesn't just make all of those feelings disappear.

[dreamer10]

Your awesome Missy...always have thought it, always will. Your heart is the size of three others put together! Love you!

[Erin84]

Wow, Missy. The "It's not their baby I'm missing" really hit home for me. Thank you for sharing this, it's a huge help <3