[sandiegomom]

Obviously, I am just putting my thoughts out here, because only I can make the decision.....but just feel like talking about it:
I am considering stopping TTC. Well, we aren't actively trying right now anyways. We were supposed to start again in April, but now I am having second thoughts. I know that may sound horrible, but all of the sudden, I just started becoming really terrified of trying again! Is that weird? My husband is really worried that I am going to change my mind. I feel horrible because I know how important it is to him. I want to be able to give that to him. I don't know why I have these feelings all of the sudden. I just keep thinking about why did I MC in the first place...what if something is wrong (even though the OB said it was doubtful) I will be 36 when we would have the baby...I worry about that. And, I am starting a new job on Monday. I think that is bringing on some of the anxiety too. Starting a new job then immediately getting pregnant. I worry about that too. I can't afford to quit working and I just got a really great job in outpatient surgery! (my dream job...no more night shift for this girl!) Anyways, I am just so confused about where I am in my life right now. That is why I have been so quiet over the past month or so on here. (sorry...I still follow everyone on here!! Especially Erin (glad she's back!)and Katie ) I know only I can make decisions, not really looking for advice. just putting my confusion out there I guess. I do want to have a child with my husband, but I am just not sure it is ever gonna happen sigh.....sorry for the long rant.

[.:Shortcake:.]

There have been many, MANY times I have thought about no longer TTC. Out of fear, financial issues, just to name a few reasons. But when I sit down and think about it I can't imagine my life without children in it. I know that some day some how I will be a mother. And even though it might not be my time right now I'm not giving up hope. Maybe it's something you and your DH should sit down and consider together but in the end just follow your heart. The fear of another loss is always going to be there. And only you can decide if it's a risk your willing to take to have your rainbow baby. For me it is because I know that I don't have any other options. We will be here for you no matter what you decide hun. But what you are feeling is normal.

[sandiegomom]

Thank you so much Katie for your thoughtful reply It does make me feel better to think others second guess themselves at times. I know there will probably never be a "perfect" time because that isn't the way life works. I think I feel better even saying I have those fears. I guess I almost felt guilty putting it out there because I have only had 2 losses and so many of you have had so many more, that I feel like I shouldn't be that afraid yet. I think it is just a combination of things in my life right now and talking them over with my husband is probably a good idea...I just hate having him feeling fearful I am giving up. I don't think I will throw in the towel yet, just having lots of mixed emotions. Thanks for reading my post

[humnck]

I am so glad that Katie was able to say what she did! It is hard when starting a new job, perhaps talk to your husband about waiting until you have been at your new job for a few months? Do you get benefits from being there for a certain time? Congrats on the dream job by the way!! Anyways, whatever your decision, I hope that you make it with a happy heart!

[ninja_mommy]

[BeckyBozeman]

Hugs Heather...

I totally understand. I know without a doubt that I will keep trying, but there are still times when the fear of another loss makes me question my commitment to getting my rainbow baby. It's terrifying. And you're right, only you can make this decision.

I think that every woman here would tell you that you and your DH have to figure out what is going to work for you and that we'll be here to listen and support you, no matter what you decide!

[doremi]

Originally Posted by BeckyBozeman

Hugs Heather...

I totally understand. I know without a doubt that I will keep trying, but there are still times when the fear of another loss makes me question my commitment to getting my rainbow baby. It's terrifying. And you're right, only you can make this decision.

I think that every woman here would tell you that you and your DH have to figure out what is going to work for you and that we'll be here to listen and support you, no matter what you decide!

This is exactly how I feel too. I'm terrified of a 3rd m/c, but I also know deep down that I am not done having children yet. Follow your heart, and keep the communication lines open with your husband. You have already decided to wait until April... try not to stress about it before then. Once the stress of the new job wears off, you could be in an entirely different place emotionally about all of this. You'll know if and when it is time to try again.

[StaceygirlPa]

When we lost pumpkin in March (this was our third loss) we thought about stopping. We talked it over and over for about a month. We both deceided that we didn't want to stop trying for a baby. I wanted to make Dh a daddy so bad and I wanted a mom so bad. I am so glad we did take a little break and took time to talk things out. We did try again and we are pregnant with our miracle baby. I will be 42 years old when this baby is born in May. My age does scare me some. I don't want to be a old mom. I wouldn't change a thing though. I can't wait to hold our baby in my arms. I agree with sitting down and talking with your Dh and telling him how you feel.

[sandiegomom]

Thank you ladies for all your kind comments. I am actually glad that we are waiting until April anyways, since that will give us plenty of time to think things through (waiting until April was because of his upcoming deployment) I know that I can't let fear get in the way. I normally never do. I think it is just that compiled with all of the other stresses in my life right now making me feel extra overwhelmed. I am feeling better today. Maybe I just needed to get it out a bit. Thank you for all of your support! It means a lot to me

[Moldovandish]

Hugs! I know how hard it is. I am scared of a third loss too. We've talked about looking into the adoption route if nothing happens within the next few months. Then DH wants to stop trying altogether. I am torn. I just hope we can all get our miracle babies soon!