I feel messed up!

oicyur · #1 December 18th, 2011, 10:33 PM

I had a mc on Nov 21st. I was very early (about 5 weeks) so it was a little easier to bare than the one I had at 8 wks. However, I've been surprised at how subtly messed up I feel. It's not a glaringly obvious change, but overall I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions since the mc, which is now almost a month in my rearview mirror. I'll be fine one day, gloomy the next, fine the next day, and sad for no apparent reason the day after. Also physically I've felt very tired and still nauseous randomly during the day. It's awful! I just feel so messed up! Emotionally and physically! But I really can't see how a few weeks of pregnancy could do that much to me afterwards!

Did any of you have this happen after an early loss??

I feel out of control right now...

Oh, I should clarify. It's not related to me thinking about the mc when I feel gloomy or angry. For the most part I've been distracted by the loss and don't think about it to often. It's the times that I just feel these feelings without no apparent source that make me wonder if my body is still wacko from the loss even though I wasn't pregnant very long.

doremi · #2 December 18th, 2011, 10:59 PM

YES. I've had two losses at 5 weeks, and with both I had all the feelings you describe. I was insanely tired for weeks, and definitely felt like my hormones were all over the map. Even that early in pregnancy, there is a MAJOR shift in your hormonal levels when you miscarry, so it can and does have a major impact on you. I read in one article that some pregnancy hormones can stay in your system for up to two months after a miscarriage, so of COURSE that is going to have an impact on how you feel. I hope you start feeling more yourself soon... for me, it was around the 6 week mark after both m/c's that I felt like I was physically 100% again. My first two AF's were extremely heavy, but other than that I felt physically normal and pretty emotionally stable by the 6 week mark.

.:Shortcake:. · #3 December 19th, 2011, 03:27 AM

I have also felt that way. Pregnancy takes a toll on your body no matter how long you are pregnant for. And like Sarah said your hormones change and are a big factor in it. It can take some time for your body to feel "normal" again after a loss. And sometimes you never go back to the way before. I have been permanently altered from my losses and I now have a new normal. We are here for you hun. I hope your body goes back soon.

seri0uslyc0nfused · #4 December 19th, 2011, 07:01 AM

Well once again, we are on the same page. Its been really hard because I think its starting to get to my DH. He kinda snapped at me yesterday, but I'm sure it was my fault since I have been so up and down lately!

I hope things get back to normal soon!!

Erin84 · #5 December 19th, 2011, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:.

:I have been permanently altered from my losses and I now have a new normal. We are here for you hun. I hope your body goes back soon.

I understand so well what you mean about being irritable and it having nothing to do with thinking about the mc. It's like you're this different person for no apparent reason... That was the hardest part for me. I was much more okay with sobbing over loss than sobbing or snapping for no reason... I feel much better now, but I'm definitely not the same person. Eventually my mood stability returned, although some days are harder than others, but even if you don't get back to yourself, you'll come to terms with the person you are now

Things will change, don't get down. You may just come out different on the other side. One positive is I'm much more loving of people in general than I ever was before!

BeckyBozeman · #6 December 19th, 2011, 11:46 AM

My second loss was a little earlier than my first but it was much harder on me physically. It took me a lot longer to recover and I still don't feel 100%. I agree with Katie, being pregnant permanently changed what my normal is...

ninja_mommy · #7 December 19th, 2011, 11:55 AM

I still struggle with emotions. Mine my loss at 6 1/2 weeks was in early October. I still have random hormonal outbursts. Just the other day I was ranting about how DH doesn't care about anyone but himself. And this was all over a pair of $10 mittens

Granted there were other stressers that factored in. I just still feel all over the place. I still feel tired occasionally and have had all of my levels checked and they are fine. I also had nausea about a week or two (randomly) after m/c'ing.

and hang in there.

oicyur · #8 December 19th, 2011, 11:25 PM

Thanks so much for all the responses!

They were all very comforting to read! It's so nice to have a place to come to talk where there are people who have been through similar things! I feel much better knowing that this is normal to feel even after an early loss! I was seriously starting to wonder if my body was broken or if there was something else wrong that was causing all these side effects! It sucks that this happens, but at least I know now that it's the aftermath of the miscarriage and that time will make me less crazy... until I get pg and screw it all up again!

.:Shortcake:. · #9 December 20th, 2011, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oicyur

Thanks so much for all the responses!

They were all very comforting to read! It's so nice to have a place to come to talk where there are people who have been through similar things! I feel much better knowing that this is normal to feel even after an early loss! I was seriously starting to wonder if my body was broken or if there was something else wrong that was causing all these side effects! It sucks that this happens, but at least I know now that it's the aftermath of the miscarriage and that time will make me less crazy... until I get pg and screw it all up again!

that's what we are here for hun. We understand each other and as much as it sucks to be here knowing we are surrounded but others who understand what we are going through just helps so much.

joanna26 · #10 December 20th, 2011, 05:59 AM

Ditto to what the other ladies said. It has been months since my m/c and frankly I am still all over the place emotionally. Which is very abnormal for me. I have shed more tears since my m/c than the rest of my life combined, seriously. I am beginning to come to the conclusion that like Katie and Erin said, this is my new normal. I don't think I will ever be the same again.

missy123 · #11 December 20th, 2011, 01:15 PM

[quote=.:Shortcake:.;2535136. It can take some time for your body to feel "normal" again after a loss. And sometimes you never go back to the way before. I have been permanently altered from my losses and I now have a new normal. We are here for you hun. I hope your body goes back soon.[/quote]

I had 4 miscarriages before having my rainbow baby. I agree with what Katie said "It ends up being a new normal for you". The pain of loss never fully goes away and even if you find yourself feeling better there may be triggers that set off the pain again.

Today I was talking to a lady in the hallway where I live. She had 2 miscarriages and told me about them and I found myself being brought back to a very dark place. I just hugged her and cried. I cried for her babies as well as my own. I cried for all the pain and hurt and depression. It shocked me as it came out of nowhere. I went into a depression for a long time and ended up taking anti-depressents to get through some of my ttc time. (((hugs)))

Vent away here. This is a good place to release your feelings. I spent many a day howling away in here. Scream.real.loud - it helps. I am so sorry... I know what you are going through.