[Belita]

I have a follow-up appointment with my OB tomorrow. They still wanted me to have it even though I miscarried. I was not a fan of this OB. She was really overwhelming when I was in last week and she was preparing me for the possibility of miscarriage and was offering me no comfort. She knew it was my first pregnancy, too.

I'm having DH go with me tomorrow since I"m not sure what to expect. I'm assuming it's to go over my HCG levels, discuss where we go from here, and to let me know when we can start TTC again. Anything you ladies can let me know about to prepare me?

I'm dreading going in there and seeing all of the happily pregnant women, too. Hopefully 8:30am won't be too busy.

I just wish we could get some answers as to why this happened.

[ninja_mommy]

It's rough, try to hang in there.

[junie22]

That appointment is a difficult one, especially if your doctor doesn't have the best bedside manner. It's a wonderful thing that DH is going with you. I'm sure that will bring you the comfort that your doctor won't provide.

On my post-m/c follow-up (which was exactly one week after my m/c), the doctor also did a speculum exam because she wanted to check on the position of the cervix, if it was closed/open, and if there was still residual bleeding. I don't know that your doctor will do the same, but you might just be prepared for that. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I was relieved when she told me that everything was looking fine. Hang in there, sweetie.

[.:Shortcake:.]

I honestly don't know what your doctor will do tomorrow. I know that with my doctor she just stressed to me that I didn't do anything to cause my loss. She also went over when I could try again as well as made sure all my levels were are zero. I hope your appointment goes well hun! Please update us when you can.

[JulieMc]

Mine never did internal exams, but they monitored my HCG down to 0..which took forever. It'll probably just mostly be a bunch of talking...

[Belita]

Thanks, ladies. It sounds like it really depends on the doctor. No matter how the appointment today goes, I'm going to get a different doctor when Gabriel comes back to us. I already spoke to a former colleague who has similar emotional needs to me and she really liked her OB. I just can't get past the complete lack of bedside manner at my first appointment. I'd hate this appointment anyways, but my last experience just makes me dread it that much more.

[Belita]

Well, my doctor was a little nicer today, but she didn't even give us condolences on our loss. I figure that's just basic human compassion and would have expected any doctor to at least offer that. I've known plenty of people with autism who, even though they wouldn't really be able to feel the compassion, would at least offer the words because they know it's a social rule.

Anyways, between last Wednesday morning and last Friday morning, my HCG went from 26 to 22. They had me do another blood draw today and said they will have me keep testing until it's down to 0.

I will acknowledge that she was clinically positive for us. DH even noticed that she's someone who just clearly states the facts and isn't really personable. I can see how that may have been okay for me if nothing had happened, but I need someone who is able to show compassion. He agrees that I need someone with more compassion and the softer interpersonal skills. It also stinks that we had to wait 1/2 hour and when we were in the room waiting we heard an ultrasound going on.

She told us that it's a great sign that we were able to get pregnant on our first cycle. She said that this doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either one of us, or the two of us together, that it happens in 20% of pregnancies. She also told me that once my HCG level gets down to 0 that we have to wait a full cycle before trying again. She said that if we were to conceive sooner than that I'd stand a greater chance of a repeat miscarriage. She also told us that after one miscarriage like ours, we have no higher risk of miscarriage than anyone else in the general population. She did not do an internal exam since I said I passed tissue. I was also on two Class C medications that other doctors had told me were okay to be on, but this doctor said would be best to avoid. I'm going to get off those medications. She didn't seem to think it had anything to do with my medications, but she's in the camp of wanting women to take absolutely no medications at all while pregnant, unless it impairs the mother's ability to function.

The women who drew my blood was much more compassionate. She told me that she'd had three miscarriages. She suggested I take a rose or carnation to one of my favorite spots, say some words, have a good cry, and leave the flower. She also gave me a hug. She said that she's on vacation next week, but depending on how long it takes for my HCG to come back to zero, I can just go up to the lab and she'll get my paperwork for me so I don't have to go into the office. She also suggested that for my blood draw next week I go in at 4:55 to pick up the paperwork since they close at 5.

I'm so glad DH was there. You're right, Adrienne, he was able to offer the comfort my doctor was unable to provide.

[.:Shortcake:.]

Robyn I'm glad your going to find another doctor. Sometimes it's best to switch doctors until you find one that fits your personality! I hope your numbers drop quickly and that you can try again really soon.

PS: your nurse sounded wonderful!

[L-SBB]

I think you need a new Dr too...I don't think it's asking much or wrong to expect some compassion from your OB, even knowing that they see m/c every single day with their patients so have probably become numb to it. Every single Dr i've seen recently, including an ENT (LOL) last week, expresses condolences when they find out you've suffered a m/c...I think it's just a normal, human, thing to do. Your DH is probably right that your Dr just has a less personable manner, but trust me you want a caring doctor who empathizes with you not only when you suffer a loss but when you eventually whine about your pregnancy aches and pains

Glad you were able to put some closure on the appt with your Dr....wishing you the very best when you decide to TTC again. HUGS

[junie22]

Well, I'm glad your appointment is over, and that you did feel some compassion from your nurse. I think you'll be so much better off with a new doctor. I'll be hoping for a super-sticky baby for you very soon.

[Belita]

Thanks, ladies. I'm looking forward to my first counseling appointment on the 18th. The holidays actually seemed to help keep me occupied and help keep me from thinking about it as much. Not sure quite what to do with myself for the rest of this vacation week. At least I have a friend coming over tomorrow and I got some videos for Christmas.