Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss
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January 6th, 2012, 10:46 AM
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POAS Queen
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 3,947
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Had my follie scan this morning and there was ONE that will PROBABLY be okay. The rest sucked. Doc said I would likely get a + OPK on my own by Monday, but if I don't, I'm going in for another u/s to see if that one is ready to be triggered. So I have to take off work for a "maybe" appointment. And I only have one egg (MAYBE), which is what I have every other miserable cycle of my life, except I'm not paying $250 and on all kinds of stupid meds those cycles. So glad I have acne all over my face just for fun... I can NOT get pregnant just fine all on my own. I don't need to pay to have the same ****** results. Last cycle we had two good follies and two maybe's and here I am not pregnant, so needless to say MY HOPES ARE IN THE GUTTER. Rotten ******* wasteland inside my body. Sewage running through my veins instead of blood. I will never be a mom.
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With us on earth for five short days, with us in our hearts forever.
(Thank you Natasha for this beautiful graphic of Andrew, and to the ladies of the Nov 10 PR who help me in carrying on his memory.)
Jan. 2009: Came off years of BCP and started TTC
March 2010: BFP -- finally!
Oct. 22, 2010: Drew is born, but has to stay in the NICU because of cord complications resulting in oxygen deprivation and brain problems =(
Oct. 27, 2010: I held him in my arms while Daddy, Grandma, Great-Uncle and I sang him to sleep =( Hardest thing I've ever done...
June 14, 2011: Drew's baby brother or sister waved hi to us with a BFP!
June 25, 2011: Natural miscarriage... Can we please catch a break here?
Nov. 2011: 100mg Clomid followed by 2mg Estrogen, Ovidrel trigger, and 200mg progesterone suppositories 2x/day 14 days. BFN.
Dec. 2011: 2nd medicated cycle. BFN.
Jan. 2012: Took a month off to breathe...
Feb. 2012: Same regimen of Clomid and other meds, add IUI. 2 eggs and 8.5 million swimmers. BFN.
March 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-11, follie scan CD 8 showed 6 follies likely to mature. Triggered, IUI on CD 14, 4 million swimmers. BFN.
April 2012: 75 IU Follistim CD 3-10. Scan showed 2 mature follies, 2 almost certain to mature, and two not likely but possible. (All 6 evenly and perfectly spaced out between the left and the right.) Triggered, IUI CD 13 with 5 million swimmers. BFN.
May 2012: 75 IU Follistim starting CD 3. Waiting to O. Timed intercourse. Likely 5 follies to mature.
^^ Click graphic for chart ^^
 
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January 6th, 2012, 12:29 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: MN
Posts: 3,115
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I'm so sorry. I know you don't really know me, and it's kind of like, "Who is this lady!?" but I believe you're already a mother and that someday you will be a mother to a baby you get to keep. Hang in there.
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January 6th, 2012, 01:16 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 14,553
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Ugh Erin that sucks!! I wish I could give you a huge hug. At this moment i feel like i could have wrote this same post. But tonight im going out with the guys and we are getting plastered!!! Take time for you and do something fun. Love you Erin!!
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January 6th, 2012, 01:17 PM
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***Staying Positive***
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Coushatta, La
Posts: 7,147
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Oh geeze I am so sorry. I am not sure there is anything I can say to make you feel better but know we are all here for you. I hope you have better results soon. Hang in there. Big hugs to you.
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January 6th, 2012, 01:35 PM
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~Praying4Girl&LoveMyBoys~
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Washington State
Posts: 256
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I am so very sorry. Like another said I wish I had something to say to make you feel even the slightest bit better. Maybe some time off and focusing on yourself, taking some me time and relaxing, will help. I don't understand the exact feelings your feeling so i won't pretend i do but i do know how it feels to want something so bad it physically hurts. Wish I could give you a hug.
Last edited by Zoey1981; January 6th, 2012 at 01:40 PM.
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January 6th, 2012, 01:47 PM
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Waiting for our Miracle.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Clarence, Pa
Posts: 4,828
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Erin, I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could to take the pain away or help you get your rainbow baby. Sending you lots of hugs.
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January 6th, 2012, 01:50 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: IL
Posts: 5,019
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 I hope that you can find some decent answers and find your happy place. I'm really sorry you're feeling this way.
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January 6th, 2012, 01:53 PM
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Super Mommy
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 586
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I'm so sorry Erin. That is just so unfair! I do not know why some of us are put through so much. You take some time to feel all the emotions and heal...I'll pray that your head and heart find peace tranquility. You are an incredible, stong, and amazing person. Sending you hugs and peace and prayers.
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Thank you tasha_mae for the beautiful siggy!!
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January 6th, 2012, 02:20 PM
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Expecting #1
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 6,261
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I'm so sorry, Erin. I don't know you, but my heart is breaking for you right now. I'll be thinking of you.
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January 6th, 2012, 02:30 PM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 3,800
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I'm so sorry Erin  Sending big HUGS your way!
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January 6th, 2012, 06:01 PM
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Veteran
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 210
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You dont know me, but I want you to know that you'll b n my prayers and I hope u feel better soon....relax for a while an take time for yourself.....
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January 6th, 2012, 07:33 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 7,934
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I am so very sorry Erin!!! I wish I could take all your pain away!
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January 6th, 2012, 08:01 PM
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formerly La_Sirena
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 317
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I'm so sorry life is sucking so much right now. It's not fair. I've got my fingers crossed for some better results and lots of hugs coming your way.
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Jen + Matt
Parents to Sophie, the Wondergirl
 Asperger's Syndrome
Joint Hypermobility
GERD & Constipation
Anxiety
Angels Autum & Isla (2007)
+ 7 others (2002 - 2011)
Mama with arthritis & connective tissue disorder called TRaPS
I've been charting since Jan 16, 2001 and TTA since April 2007.
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January 6th, 2012, 11:14 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Washington State
Posts: 13,404
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyLover
I'm so sorry. I know you don't really know me, and it's kind of like, "Who is this lady!?" but I believe you're already a mother and that someday you will be a mother to a baby you get to keep. Hang in there.
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I couldn't have said it better myself! I'm so sorry this cycle has sucked, especially when you are dealing with all the meds and dr's bills for no apparent reason. 
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January 7th, 2012, 05:27 AM
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Mega Super Mommy
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,189
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Erin, I'm so sorry you got such bad news!! You have been through so much already and definitely don't deserve this s**t. I agree with the others though...you are a mother and you will get pregnant again and have your rainbow baby! It will happen!!!
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January 7th, 2012, 06:42 AM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,400
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Oh Erin, I am so sorry. I wish this cycle had turned out better. You deserve it more than anyone And no matter what you think you are a mother to beautiful Drew and you will get pregnant again and bring home your baby.
I am going to be that disgustingly positive a hole and say...it only takes one! I am still holding out hope that this is your cycle!
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January 8th, 2012, 11:19 AM
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Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oneida, TN
Posts: 7,313
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I am sorry you got such ****** news at the Dr.....especially when you were expecting to hear MUCH better news than that. I know you were probably excited about the appointment so getting shot down like that was quite a blow.
I hate it for you I hope your next appt is better and you still get your rainbow baby this cycle.
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January 8th, 2012, 04:04 PM
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Platinum Supermommy
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 14,553
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I miss you and I'm thinking of you!
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» Trying to Conceive and Family Planning
» Trying to Conceive after Loss
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Not sure, might disappear for a couple weeks, mind is in a terrible place. (x-posted)
Jakob (May 12th 2004- Feb. 24th 2009 Had Joubert Syndrome RIP) 
Ava Sept 14th, 2007* Tubal reversal December 17th 2010
