What helps you focus?

Belita · #1 January 12th, 2012, 09:56 AM

I realize my situation is a little different because I have ADHD and a big part of my lack of focus at work is due to that, but this past week I've had a ridiculously horrible time focusing at work.

All I want to think about it TTC. I'm spending way too much time on JM. I'm doing okay on my work that involves me being away from my desk, but anything I have to do at my desk results in me staring at the work and then checking JM and questions about TTCAL that come up for me. I'm afraid that I'm spending so much time on these sites that IT is going to notice all these strange search terms!

To be honest, it's my last year here and I'm just planning to substitute teach next year if I'm not in my third trimester and I'm really not all that concerned with keeping my job. However, I do have a lot of work to do that isn't getting done and I know I need to be productive.

I'm meeting with a women's mental health clinic on February 6th to find out how to manage my ADHD while pregnant and TTC so I think I'll get more specific tips to my situation then, but any advice for the meantime?

.:Shortcake:. · #2 January 12th, 2012, 10:47 AM

My only advice is to try and find things that keep your interest other than TTC. TTCAL can become an unhealthy obsession and that's not good for any aspect of your life. I know for me my photography helps keep me focused. While I'm at work it's a whole other ball game. I usually try to do all my work first and then if I have time I make JM time. I also browse JM during my lunch.

missy123 · #3 January 12th, 2012, 03:18 PM

Hi there! I have adhd and keeping a notebook is what helps me through everything. I have to "reward myself" with computer time after I get some of the things done that are on my list of things to do.

We were TTCAL for 2.5 years with 4 losses so I understand what you are going through. And so you know, it is not just about having adhd, the desperation we feel after losing a baby can be all consuming for anyone.

Are you taking any meds at all?

Belita · #4 January 12th, 2012, 03:35 PM

Thanks!

Missy, I'll try the reward thing. I was on Ritalin for years, but went off it to TTC. For the first few weeks I was off it I felt like I was doing well with remembering the strategies for coping I learned while on it, but I think the longer more I'm reverting to how I was pre-meds.

Katie, I'll make more of an effort with that. I hyperfocus a lot and that means that it's near impossible to get me to focus on anything else. I love photography and reading but I've tried to do both lately and neither hold my interest. It feels different from a depression unable to focus, so I know it's not a depression loss of interest in activities if that makes sense.

Please keep the ideas coming!

BabyLover · #5 January 12th, 2012, 04:52 PM

I find that sometimes the best thing for me is to get away from JM. It's not easy, and it doesn't always work, but it helps me not get too crazy about things.

Belita · #6 January 12th, 2012, 05:10 PM

I think that might take care of itself if I can find just something else that will hold my interest for a little while. I stopped going to another motherhood board I'm a member on. Granted it's because it was too hard for me since it's a mixed group and there were too many happily pregnant women, but I think it's a start!

HopeTea · #7 January 12th, 2012, 05:38 PM

We have way too much in common, Robyn! I was diagnosed with ADD as a child, and never grew out of it. I really wish I could offer you some good advice, but I'm not sure I've ever found anything that really works consistently even for myself! Like you mentioned, I tend to hyperfocus on one thing at a time, and I feel like I don't have a lot of choice over the matter. With TTC being the main thing on my mind, it seems like that's the only thing I can really focus on! To be honest I just try to distract myself as much as possible, all the time.

Anyway, this is a really good topic to start. Even people without ADHD or ADD can relate to how much TTCAL can consume your life at times. I hope other ladies on the board can offer some good ideas!

Belita · #8 January 12th, 2012, 06:27 PM

Jack, are you my long-lost twin!?!

martilynne · #9 January 13th, 2012, 08:33 AM

After each one of my losses, I found it impossible to pull myself away from JM. I think it helped me heal but I guess it did get in the way of everyday life. I think no matter what you do to grieve right now will effect your life somehow...I also have ADHD and it is nowhere even close to being under control. I will have to try Missy's notebook idea.