[LoverlyJules]

Hello ladies.

Well, I guess it was not meant to be ... I believe I am starting AF today. January 30th would have been the due date for my previous (first) pregnancy. Like so many of us, I SO wanted to be pregnant by that time. Doesn't look like that will happen.

I just feel like such a failure. My DH and I tried for 2 1/2 years before getting pregnant last April and then I lost the baby at the end of June. I just can't fathom trying for another 2 years and then worrying about another loss.

I'm just at a loss ... I feel so sad and empty. I know that in 2 weeks I was supposed to be giving birth to a beautiful baby. Instead ... nothing.

I also have SO many close friends who are pregnant ... all of my ex-roommates from college and the teacher across the hall from me as well as probably 5 other women at school. It's so hard to see them and see other people fawn over them when I'm jealous and hurt.

I know that there are people out there who have been through so much more than me, so I also feel guilty about that ...

Sorry, I just needed to vent ... it's been a really tough few weeks.

[Babybun]

I'm sorry your goin through this and I know how you feel....it seems like everybody i work with is expecting and they're so happy...u see them getting bigger every week and it makes u jealous...that's how I feel...what's worse is that there was a girl who I see alot who got pregnant the same time I did...I hate seeing her causenit reminds me of my loss and it shows me where I could have been...when I tell these things to my dh he tells me that i can't look at it that way...but he dont understand, it wasn't his body, and he doesn't hang out with pregnant people...in my opinion, a m/c hurts worse as time goes on...everything starts to sink in...when it all happened I didn't let myself worry about it and get all tore up cuz I'm not an emotional person, but now, when I see things that remind me of it...I jst wanna cry

I'm sorry that I just went into all my problems..but I really understand what your saying....I don't know how to make things better...so I try to focus on the future...
I hope u feel better soon

[Micksbabe]

I am coming up to thenone year anniversary of my third loss and I feel the same way, why am I not pregnant yet!!! I have always been able to get pregnant easy and it has been over a year now and nothing

Big

[doremi]

I totally get how you are feeling. The EDD for my first loss was 1/6/12, and like you, I was sure I would be pregnant again before that date came and went I also have several close friends who have either had babies, or are pregnant. The longer we wait for our healthy baby to come along, the harder it gets to handle. I'm still SO filled with joy for my friends who are giving birth, and preparing for new babies, but it makes me sad to think of what might have been for our little family had we not been through these two losses. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.

[Belita]

I can't even talk to my best friend right now because she was 2.5 weeks ahead of me and complains about her pregnancy not being perfect. I think "at least you're still pregnant and everything is okay even though you're having scares." I don't say that to her, but it's so hard not to feel that way. Right now I can't imagine passing my due date without being pregnant with my rainbow baby. My heart goes out to you ladies.

[ninja_mommy]

I'm sorry for your loss. I also find it very hard to see the million pregnant women I know, especially the ones who are due around when I was and those who complain irk me.

[martilynne]

I hope you get your sticky BFP soon. I went by my first EDD twice before I got pregnant with my rainbow baby, it sucked

[LoverlyJules]

Thanks everyone. Had a heart to heart with the DH yesterday. He said he doesn't care about a baby right now. He wants a healthy and happy wife. I'm going to try my best, but it's hard when I've got such tunnel vision. I know stress doesn't help with TTC, but there isn't really an "off" button.

[Belita]

[.:Shortcake:.]

EDD's are always so hard. Especially knowing that your not pregnant again and you feel like a failure. You are NOT a failure. It's not your fault. I hope and pray that you get your rainbow baby very soon.