vary hard last 18 hours

audiesmommy · #1 April 12th, 2012, 02:06 PM

my good friend was due the same day i was to have her baby she did not no that i was supposto be due but lost the baby. she is the mother of my 2 god daughters and now my newist god daughter. she asked me to be at the birth like i was with my other god daughter and of course i said yes she needed me to be there the babys dad is uselesss,he was there but sat watching tv ugh. i did everything helped her shower put her clothes on her hold her leg while she pushed and the whole time i was thinking this is supposta be me... it was so hard when she was born i cryed not because she was born but because i wanted it to be me so bad. but i was strong for her just like i was last time. ugh i just got home and i am so emotionaly drained

ps look for ovulation test pics from me later

Belita · #2 April 12th, 2012, 02:17 PM

.:Shortcake:. · #3 April 13th, 2012, 03:52 AM

I know what your going through with that. I actually just had that happen with my best friend. My Godson is now 4 months old and it's still hard. I think having that kind of a reminder daily makes it 10x harder.

audiesmommy · #4 April 13th, 2012, 06:23 AM

the werst part is is that her now 4 yr old i took care fo for the first yr i went to the doctor apt i stayed upw ith her when she was sick i say her first steps, when she was 14m old and was on life support in the icu i was there everyday and most night. when she woke up from coma she was screeming mama and was reaching for me ( she called me mom ). and now she has had 2 kids since realy like she dosint even take care of them i woke up in the its not fare stage today

once oey was born she got better about talking care of them but i still have alot of checking up on to do and alot of makeing sure they are ok and have everything they need. zoey whos 15m hates me lol she crys everytime i watch her witch 90 percent of babys dont do at my house . i hope claire likes me more since im going to be trying to cuddal her as much as i can lol.

L-SBB · #5 April 13th, 2012, 06:32 AM

you are an awesome friend...i'm sorry it dredged up all the "what ifs/should be me" stuff

Blieving4more · #6 April 13th, 2012, 12:08 PM

I am so sorry that you had to go through that. You are much stronger then I am that's for sure. I would have told my friend that I could not do it. You are a really good friend and godmother to be there no matter what. I hope that she will be that great of a friend to you in January when you have your rainbow baby