[L-SBB]

So it's been a week since I found out baby's hb was gone...and because growth had stopped around 9 1/2 weeks (and i was almost 10 1/2 weeks when we discovered hb was gone) OB is only willing to give me 2 additional weeks to wait for the m/c to happen naturally...she's concerned about infection setting in if I go beyond 3 weeks.

As of today I have 1 week left before D&C becomes mandatory...and really nothing is happening. I feel like crap (m/s is still in full swing) i've had a tiny bit of cramping & spotting this morning, which is the first sign of body maybe finally starting to clue in that m/c needs to happen, but I'm starting to rethink the whole D&C decision for about the 100th time.

Because of a bad/severe reaction I had to cytotec when I had Savannah, i'm not willing to do any of the meds to try to induce this m/c (i know that seems weird, since i'm trying to avoid D&C, but you'll just have to trust me on this).

I'm worrying that i'm just adding a couple of weeks of misery by trying to go natural, which is ok if it happens but if it doesn't then i've wasted 2 weeks and still ended up with D&C anyway Maybe I should just get it over with....

[miniRazz]

It is such a hard decision to make but I am happy you decided not to use the drug to induce it as I have heard so many bad things about it from my aunt who is a nurse and from various doctors (who gave me honest feedback from other patients). And the fact that it may not work in the end makes it worse.

Do whatever you feel is right for you(natural or D&C), but you could always wait a few days to see if the spotting leads to something else.

I am so so sorry for your loss
Take care ((HUGS))

[Krisnina]

I know this is such a hard decision. I will tell you that I am comfortable with my decision to have the D&C. It was over quickly (a horrible and painful experience), but it was over within 15 minutes or so and I felt like I could start to move on. My doctor also advised against it - since I was about 10 weeks but really 8w1day. She said it would be quite painful and there would be a good chance I would end up going to the emergency room or ending back there for a D&C anyway.

Good luck with your choice, and you know we are all here for you.

[Lindz253]

I don't ever remember getting the option to have things happen naturally. Im not sure if its different at 16 weeks or not but after having gone through a D&C I would personally want to go ahead and do it.

To me, and this is just my opinion and Im sure others feel differently, it would be hard to walk around knowing what was inside of me. I think I would want to have that closure and grieve and try to get to the next step, whether you want to start trying again or focus on the testing to see why this keeps happening to you.

Have you had a D&C before with your other losses?

[LittleMomma09]

I MC naturally the night before I went in for my D&C. They went a head with the D&C to make sure for left over tissue. I was devastated when it all happened naturally. I had to have my husband come home from work. I didn't want to MC at home. I was scared to see anything. After words I was relieved that I had.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know what you are going through is no where near easy. Big hugs!

[L-SBB]

Originally Posted by Lindz253

Have you had a D&C before with your other losses?

Yes, i had D&C with my first loss...it's one of the reasons i'd like to avoid having another it wasn't a great experience (although from pain/recovery perspective it was excellent) and I did my 2nd loss naturally, which was tougher from a pain perspective (although not anywhere as bad as i feared it would be...but maybe having in between labored with Savannah has altered my perspective on acceptable pain levels LOL) but much faster from a cycle recovery perspective.

It wasn't that my D&C was awful...but I hate being put under GA (and i have asthma so it comes with enhanced risks when i do so)...I didn't like my nurse (who insisted on calling the procedure an "abortion" repeatedly, which who knows might be medically correct terminology, but at the time really upset me) and i hated having so many people in the OR - i was totally unprepared for so many people being present (i swear it was like 10) and then being put under, i don't know it just sort of freaked me out. If I do this D&C again, it'll be at same hospital as my first one was.

The more D&Cs you have, the greater the risk of scarring that could cause further issues conceiving/carrying a baby, which is the other reason why I try to avoid where I can...this one may turn out to be unavoidable though.

[mama3o]

You have to stick with what you believe in and feel comfortable with. I wanted to be completely natural, however I wound up having it because emotionally, I wanted to move on and felt like I wasn't there for my family at home because I was so depressed and worried analyzing every ping I felt in my body. I did have the d nc and I do not regret it, because they told me it would likely end up needing to be done anyway. I hope that you find peace with whatever decision you come to!

[Krisnina]

For my D&C I wasn't ever put under. I was just doped up on pain meds. My OB did it in her office.

[L-SBB]

Originally Posted by Krisnina

For my D&C I wasn't ever put under. I was just doped up on pain meds. My OB did it in her office.

that is so much better - if my OB did it that way i'd probably opt for it, i thought everyone did it under GA, didn't realize some will do it with just local. Having the procedure in hospital OR is also really expensive, which (weirdly) for us this year is not a big deal b/c i withheld so much in my medical flex spend (thinking back last Oct when we had to allocate $ that i was going to have a baby in 2012...wrong) so i have $ to spend, but if i recall it was like maybe $500 out of pocket and insurance covered the rest (i though it was a few thousand total though) - it's expensive once you add an anethesiologist into the mix + hospital OR time, etc.

[ashj_1218]

I was in your same place with my first loss. About the same dates and everything. My doc gave me three weeks total (one week to the second sonogram to see if things were starting (they werent) and two weeks after that for me to miscarry naturally). And it sounds like my body was a lot like your body, although I never had any spotting or bleeding at all. I was still sick and felt very pregnant. I really wanted to miscarry naturally....but it never happened. After those three weeks I had a D&C, which I had a very good experience with (I did cry when they took me in the OR because of all the people present, but everyone was wonderful and I felt pretty good afterward).

I understand your desire to do it naturally, especially given that you had a less-than-stellar experience before. Has your doctor talked about a D&E? I dunno if that lessens the scar tissue or not, but I was given the option. I think some docs do them and some don't. I see your concern with the scarring aspect.

Sending you hugs for this to work out how you want it too. The in-the-middle is awful. Especially when you feel awful and want to start moving on. I wish there was an easier way. But if you do opt for the D&C, I hope your experience is better this time around.

[ninja_mommy]

I'm really sorry you have to make this choice. With my last m/c I felt I didn't really have a choice of getting a d&c or not. My levels were going up, spotting for well over a week, but again levels still going up. But my uterus was empty, they couldn't see anything. My body didn't get it
How long did you have to wait for your other natural m/c? If that makes sense. And like you said, the other reason I opted for D&C was to avoid m/c'ing naturally but still having to get one anyways. But, as you said I wouldn't continue to opt for D&C since they have that risk.
And I totally get the fear of going under GA. I am potentially allergic to some of them (sister is and it's hereditary but test is super expensive/elective) so I could literally die if they don't do something right.

[JulieMc]

If it were me in your situation, I would wait it out. I'd probably take it a step further and refuse a d&c until it was completely obvious that nothing was going to happen, even if that meant waiting a little bit beyond their deadline. I obviously wouldn't be delusional and think that 8 weeks is safe. It is not "mandatory", no matter what they tell you. 3 weeks would probably be what I'd feel alright with waiting. I think the spotting and cramping is a good sign that things might finally start happening soon.

My reasoning behind trying to avoid the d&c is the risk of scarring and adhesions which could further impact one's fertility.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. It's a tough spot to be in. I hope this resolves in the best possible way for you, as soon as possible..so you can start to move on.

Someone mentioned earlier that they did the D&C procedure in office without being put under, but I have to question if that is even an option at how far along you were. At 5 or 6 weeks, it is so small.....but at 10+ weeks, they're still small, but they're not something you can just suction out without doing other things first....they have to remove it in pieces. I just don't think they'd do that without putting one under....

[Krisnina]

Originally Posted by JulieMc

Someone mentioned earlier that they did the D&C procedure in office without being put under, but I have to question if that is even an option at how far along you were. At 5 or 6 weeks, it is so small.....but at 10+ weeks, they're still small, but they're not something you can just suction out without doing other things first....they have to remove it in pieces. I just don't think they'd do that without putting one under....

It was me that had the D&C without being put under. I should have been 10wk2d when they did the D&C but the baby was the size of 8w1d. She said she could do it within the first trimester similar to an abortion- she said it is actually the same thing except, of course I didn't want it to happen. Maybe different states have different laws.

It cost way less than doing in the hospital-I think less than 500 before insurance paid into it or something close. I will say it was an awful experience being awake for it, and it is horrible because you kind of feel every painful scrape- which I guess would be similar to an abortion, but if you don't want to be put asleep it's an option.

[Lindz253]

I would have b+itch slapped the nurse calling it an abortion. It is an upsetting situation and Im sorry you had such a bad experience with your D&C. I also didn't realize it could cause scar tissue or other things.

Do what you feel comfortable with. Its seems like waiting may be the better option for you?? I dont know. I sure hope it starts naturally for you. Strange how peoples body can't recognize the baby has passed. I wonder what would happen if someone had a miscarriage who never knew they were pregnant to begin with. Could they go years with having a baby inside them and not know??

[.:Shortcake:.]

Lara! I completely understand not wanting to have to have another D&C especially because your first one didn't go well and because of scarring. If I was in your situation I would opt for it though. The waiting game for me is always the hardest and when my body wasn't realizing what was going on the D&C was the best choice for me. The waiting was agonizing as well as my doctor telling me that the further along you are the harder a natural m/c is on you physically & emotionally.

Only you can decide what is best for you. Either way we are going to be here supporting you all the way. I wish I could be there with you helping you through this. I hate that your even having to make this choice.

[JulieMc]

Originally Posted by Lindz253

I would have b+itch slapped the nurse calling it an abortion.

The official medical term for a miscarriage is a spontaneous abortion. The official wording on my referral papers my midwife filled out for the RE is "habitual abortion." I suppose a real abortion (in the way that us non-medical people think of it) would be considered an elective termination or abortion. It's crappy of them though to use those words with us patients, even though its what they use when discussing it amongst themselves. Some of them just don't think and are just so numb to dealing with patients having losses and whatnot that they don't think twice about what they are saying. I don't think they intend to cause pain when they say it..they just aren't thinking.

[captivate]

My baby was 8.5 weeks and they advise d&c due to me being nearly 11 weeks and full blown m/s and sore boobs. Just brown spotting, they said it could take another 4 weeks.

I'm happy with my decision for the d&c.
Xxxx

[Mrs_lynn.c]

The last D&C I had done the doctor advised me that bacause I had had 3 done that if I ever got pregnant again and had a loss to try to avoid another one because of scaring. All of my experiences was bad because I had my D&Cs on the labor and delievery floor and when I came out of surgery I seen the other ladies in recovery with their babies and I walked away without my baby. If I ever have to make that decission again I will try my best to go natural.Im so sorry your going thru this,i hope your body starts to get the message soon so you dont have to go thru the D&C. Sending up prayers for you.

[TaraJo29]

I just went through this exact same issue.

I've never had a d & c but I've heard how "easy" it usually is, and I was tempted for that reason. I waited 2 weeks after I saw that my baby had no heartbeat (and the baby had died 3-5 days before that). It was a long 2 weeks. I still had indigestion and food aversions and all, so I still felt pregnant and feeling crappy was a constant reminder that I was pregnant and that I was waiting for the miscarriage. I felt like nothing was going to happen at all and even checked my cervix at times and it was slammed shut like nothing was going anywhere. I had an extra HPT so I took that and it was super positive. But 2 weeks after I got my u/s I was in the grocery store and felt some little "twinges" down there and for a couple days before that I had some tiny achy period like cramps. But it was so slight I almost wasn't sure I was imagining it because I knew I was paying close attention to "signs." But anyway, I got some mild cramps the night I got the twinges in the grocery store and when I got home I had some peachy mucus and I knew it was my cervix effacing and dilating. I had more period cramps and twinges and started spotting a little. The next day it started in full force.

All that to say, just because you feel *nothing* happening one day, and even still have morning sickness and all, doesn't mean it won't start the next.

Going natural is no picnic, that's for sure, BUT I personally think it's easier on your body (even if it doesn't feel like it). That's what your body is made to do when things don't go well with the pregnancy, and it allows your hormones to drop naturally instead of when you have the D & C done. I think it's forcing something to happen that your body wasn't necessarily ready for. If you have to, I totally understand. Or if some people just want to, ya know what, I know it's really hard to wait, and I understand that, too. But in terms of what's *ideal* I think it is to do it naturally. But it's scary. It's hard. It takes patience. And it's usually more painful and sometimes a lot more drawn out. I was bleeding pretty heavily and passing major clots for about 4 days. I had a lot of intense aching and cramps, and 1 entire day of contractions. I could sit and talk to my husband, but I couldn't go out (nor did I feel like it, of course). I went from chair to computer to chair to bed, etc. I took tylenol, etc. It stunk during the worst day of all the cramps and stuff but I'm glad I did it and avoided surgery and drugs.

One other positive of going natural is if you would like to have a chance to bury the baby. A lot of people say (and even my doctor told me) that there would be nothing recognizable, so don't worry about it. Well, not true. I think they want to make it easier on you, but ladies deserve to know the truth. You may see the baby. It will be real small, but for me it was obvious because it was white and everything else was very red. It was the shape you'd expect and I could see his/her little eyes clearly. I sat on a chair and bled into a bucket until the baby came out so I made she it didn't go into the toilet.

The biggest thing for me about the D & C is I didn't like the idea of how they probably "dispose" of everything including the baby. I couldn't handle that. Of course, if you have to because of infection or something, you have to. But that issue is what gave me the will to get through it on my own.

*hugs* I know it's very hard to wait and worry. If you are spotting, maybe it won't be long until it's all behind you.

If you want any more details, you can PM me or look up my story on the pregnancy loss board.

[EverydayJoy]

I would have done natural if I could have. I did want to see the baby and say goodbye. I wasn't sure what I was going to do after that because we live in an apartment complex, so I don't have anywhere I could have buried it. But it would have been nice to feel like I got that chance.
That option was taken away from me, I was fully dilated but part of the placenta was blocking the cervix so the uterus kept bleeding and bleeding because the placenta couldn't pass and the uterus couldn't contract down to stop the bleeding. I ended up with an emergency D&C. I don't feel bad about it, because it was the only option I had, it saved my life. But I do think it would be sweet to see your little one. I know not everyone feels that way.