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Postpartum appointment


Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  • 1 Post By anothermother
  • 1 Post By mommamindy

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  #1  
January 18th, 2013, 05:37 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Southwest, Missouri
Posts: 6,057
So I had my postpartum appointment today. Its been 6 weeks exactly since the induction. I would have been 23 weeks today. It went ok I guess. It was a little hard to sit in the waiting room for an hour while pregnant women walked in and out. One especially had just found out the baby's sex.

Everything is back to normal internally, so that's good. She requested that she not see me again for awhile, then she saw the tears well up and was like "well not like 6 months, but like 2. Ok, at least one more cycle. You aren't gonna wait at all are you?" to which I said "this month waiting was hard" and I couldn't finish my thought before I choked up. Ugh. She left it where she really wanted me to wait one more cycle. Because the "risk of miscarriage is higher". Which I don't know if that's true.... I just can't wait another month to try. Not saying we will get pregnant for sure next month, but I just can't go another month of literally sitting and waiting. If it was something my body did, I'd be more apprehensive, but I've always carried pregnancy well-- too well apparently. So I don't see the point of waiting if my body is back to normal.

The results for the chromosome testing came back inconclusive. Sigh. We think it was Turner's, but we'll never know for sure. She said there is absolutely no heighten reccurance though.

She also asked me to never go to an outside ultrasound place again.... Which I was expecting because they (the doctors in the office) really like to have control over patients care. Which I can understand... But I still would have never changed what we did or the way we did it. Had we not gone to the outside scan we never would have gotten to see out baby girl alive and moving. I would have ended up losing her suddenly not knowing anything was wrong. Had I been in a better frame of mind I would have said that, but I just wanted the appointment over.

The positive: since I'm labeled high risk now, we have already have a plan of action in place for next time. Which means getting to the doctor sooner- it took us 10 weeks to get approved for insurance, but she said to let her know next time and she'll personally write a letter to speed things up. We will also have an NT scan at 11/12 weeks along with blood work then a follow up scan at 16 weeks to make sure everything is ok. This will be done through the high risk obgyn... So yeah, it'll be totally different next time around. They don't anticipate anything being wrong again, since it's literally a 1 in a thousand chance of happening the first time.

Overall it was ok. Emotionally it's been a rough week with a couple new pregnancy announcements and being at odds with DH (which is going to be difficult if we are ttc). Just trying to keep busy and hope the time passes quickly.
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  #2  
January 19th, 2013, 06:00 AM
Ame C's Avatar Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,704
I am so sorry you are having to go through this, my heart hurts for you I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better but just know I feel your pain. I hope you never have to experience such agony and suffering ever again. Sending you lots of love, your in my T&P.
DH and I are waiting 1 more cycle, but that's all we can emotionally and mentally stand to wait anymore. If you can hold out 1 more cycle maybe we will end up in the same DDC together Do whatever you feel is right. I'm here if you ever just want some one to talk to or to listen.
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  #3  
January 19th, 2013, 06:44 AM
MoonAngel702's Avatar ~Staying Positive~
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Nevada
Posts: 2,575
I'm so sorry ... I so clearly remember that 1st post partum appt after I lost Cade I know exactly how you feel. It really sounds like you know what is best for you and if trying this cycle will make you feel better (which I know I felt better when we were able to start trying again) then I say go for it! It must also be reassuring that you will be monitored closely during your next pregnancy. That's a great thing! I'm sure everything will be just fine.

Thinking of you and sending lots of your way! Keep us posted on what you decide to do!
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  #4  
January 21st, 2013, 04:15 PM
WorkerBeeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Southern California
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I'm glad that overall it was okay.

I say if it makes you happier to try this cycle, then try.

I am not waiting since the chemical and I only waited one month after my miscarriage because I had to do hormone testing. Other than that, I would have started right away as well.

Since you were further along and everything looks back to normal, I don't see why it would hurt to try especially since you had your two daughters with no issue.

Waiting was very hard for me. It made the miscarriage more painful. Knowing that I could try again asap somehow made me feel more at peace or something.

I say do what you think is best for you. You have been thru a lot emotionally, so whatever you choose will be fine. Hugs!
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  #5  
January 21st, 2013, 05:25 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks girls. The biggest stresser for me was being upset that we were advised to wait, but then really wanting to try regardless. By just making that decision to go for it has already taken away so much anxiety and stress.

And the thing was that at the end of the appointment we were talking about how my pregnancy tests were picking up my hcg at 8 and 9. She said that it's becoming a problem because 60% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, but it happens before your period so if the tests weren't picking it up so well most women would never know. So between that and "statistically" we never should have lost Everleigh because of my age and health, I'm just over all the statistics. I'm done letting my life be run in fear because of them.

I really do feel at peace going for it this month, even if we don't end up pregnancy. Much more at peace than I when we were TTC with Everleigh. Thanks for the support girls
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  #6  
January 22nd, 2013, 12:17 PM
WorkerBeeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Glad you are feeling better FX for you this cycle!!
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  #7  
January 22nd, 2013, 12:45 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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(((((HUGS))))) i hated every one of my post loss follow up appts for exactly the reason of sitting in waiting room with all the happy moms to be, it's a certain type of torture for those who have just suffered a m/c.

Doctors are all over the place on wait...my OB is similar to yours, feels strongly that some studies show a linkage to a slightly (so it is small, but so too was our chance of loss to begin with...) higher chance of m/c w/in a couple cycles of a loss...but that said, there's also studies that say no higher chance. So for me at least it came down to whether I could emotionally handle trying sooner & potentially losing...so I waited, but I totally understand why people make the opposite decision. In the end you should do what you feel most comfortable with.

I'm glad she'll send you to a perinatologist...I also see one once pregnant, and their equip is so much better than OB's it's a really different experience getting a level II u/s with one. Hopefully the heightened monitoring will help you feel more secure with your next pregnancy & give you periodic reassurance everything is ok.
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  #8  
January 22nd, 2013, 01:42 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L-SBB View Post
Doctors are all over the place on wait...my OB is similar to yours, feels strongly that some studies show a linkage to a slightly (so it is small, but so too was our chance of loss to begin with...) higher chance of m/c w/in a couple cycles of a loss...but that said, there's also studies that say no higher chance. So for me at least it came down to whether I could emotionally handle trying sooner & potentially losing...so I waited, but I totally understand why people make the opposite decision. In the end you should do what you feel most comfortable with.
Exactly. And who's to say even if we waited one more month that we wouldn't miscarry anyway. I never stopped taking my prenatals and if she said my body wasn't even completely back to normal I would definitely wait longer. And like you said, I've seen so many different opinions on the length of wait time. I already ovulated once and then had my period so I feel like I have a nice clean slate to work with.
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  #9  
January 22nd, 2013, 11:21 PM
Beautiful Life!
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I just had a loss last month and the sitting in the waiting room, actually for the u/s to see if that's what it was or not, was absolutely horrible. I only seen the nurse practitioner since it was an early loss and she assumed since the pregnancy had been unplanned we were going to go back on birth control right away. I was actually supposed to schedule an appt. for a month after the loss, so we could discuss b/c options, but I've chosen not to make the appt because we want to ttc right away. Everything I've read has said the only reason to wait would be for emotional reasons. So if you're ready, I'd go for it! I can't imagine waiting, as our decision to ttc right away is probably the only thing that's given me hope and something to look forward too. I'm on first cycle since the loss, and while I was bummed that it started and we didn't get pg right away, I'm also kind of glad because like you said, I feel like I have a clean slate now and everything is ready to go. Good Luck to you!
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