Log In Sign Up

How long will I wait for a natural miscarraige?


Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree1Likes

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Trying to Conceive after Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
February 7th, 2013, 02:41 PM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Navarre Florida
Posts: 97
I was supposed to have a D&C today but I ended up chickening out! I feel so stupid, but I was terrified! I was thinking of doing the tablets or waiting it out as long as I can. I am just so terrified of the anesthesia part! I know this is an extremely irrational fear, epsecially since I am a Last semester RN student and know it's quite safe! I just couldn't do it! I ran out in tears and I am so embarrassed right now!

This has been a terrible experience and I feel bad for anyone who had to go through this!

Has anyone had to wait for a natural miscarriage!? I am not sure when the baby stopped developing but I was officially diagnosed with a blighted ovum Monday at 7 weeks 5 days.

I am so scared right now.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
February 7th, 2013, 03:01 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
first, i'm terribly sorry for your loss It's not an irrational fear at all - i've had two D&Cs...hated both of them (first more so than the 2nd). I've also had a successful natural m/c...and my 2nd D&C was a result of a failed natural m/c when my body just refused after 3 weeks to recognize that the m/c needed to occur.

With my 2nd loss (natural m/c), it didn't take very long at all for the m/c process to start, maybe a few days after we lost the hb. But with the 4th loss (attempted natural m/c) I waited 3 weeks - longer than my OB wanted me to - trying to avoid the D&C. In the end it was good I had the D&C as it allowed for testing on the fetus, but OB also discovered my body was so confused my uterus had continued to grow and was actually measuring even larger than my date (so at that point, it had progressed an additional month beyond the baby) and I needed meds to help contract it back down.

With my first D&C i was incredibly worried about being put under - I never had been before - so I understand your fear. You can talk with your OB to see what other options you can pursue, depending on how long you've already been waiting for the m/c to begin on its own. Some OBs will give you a med that can help start the process...generally speaking they don't recommend waiting more than 2-3 weeks after loss is confirmed to complete the m/c for fear of infection.

((((HUGS))))
__________________
Lara

Savannah Stylin!





Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
Reply With Quote
  #3  
February 7th, 2013, 03:05 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Southwest, Missouri
Posts: 6,057
Oh hunny, I'm so so sorry you have to go through this I'm so heartbroken for you after reading this. Honestly, I would have the same fears as you. Anything that requires being put under scares me half to death. I was far enough along (17 weeks) that I had an induction will the pills. It really wasn't that bad... I'd way rather take that over a DnC. I was close to having a DnC if the placenta wasn't going to cooperate. After 45 minutes of the doctor "working" on me, she finally felt confident that she got it all.

As far as waiting for a natural miscarriage, I've heard women waiting up to 10-14 days. The rush for most doctor's I think depends more on how much the mom just wants it to be over. Talk with your doctor, I'm sure they will understand you fear and will work with you whatever way they can.
__________________
Christine, momma to Chloe [7.20.07], Alexis [9.8.09], and Jude [10.14.13]

Reply With Quote
  #4  
February 7th, 2013, 06:39 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 10,627
I am so so so sorry for your loss!!!! I would talk to your doctor about your different options.
__________________


Thank you so much Bokkechick for the perfect siggie!!!
12-10-10 2-6-12
Reply With Quote
  #5  
February 7th, 2013, 06:49 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,943
I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. I have been waiting for 3 weeks to miscarry naturally. Tomorrow I'm taking Cytotec to move things along.

This is my second loss. The baby passed at 6 weeks. With my first loss I had a D&C, since I was at 10 weeks. (My doc prefers to do natural or Cytotec at under 8 weeks). Honestly, there's a part of me that wishes I could have another D&C. It was helpful to me to plan it, as well as plan for specific support and recovery time. I felt very cared-for in the hospital, and knew that if anything went wrong I'd be watched and monitored. Waiting this time has been really hard. I'm also incredibly nervous about using the Cytotec.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
February 7th, 2013, 07:19 PM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Navarre Florida
Posts: 97
I read through all the responses and I am SO SO thankful that you ladies have taken the time to respond to me! It means so much!!!! I feel a lot better after reading your experiences in that I am not alone, although I would never wish this upon anyone.

MelChicago, will you please keep in touch with me and let me know what happens because I am thinking about starting the pills on Monday when I see my MD again. I would really like to know what your experience is like!

I talked to my Mom today and she made me feel a lot better because she was saying "You know back in the old days, women didn't have surgeries and they did just fine and their bodies handled it." It made me feel so much better because I honestly felt like an idiot for being so scared of the surgery.

I wish none of us ever had to go through this but maybe God chooses us strong ones so we can help others when they are in need. I don't know, just trying to see the positive I guess.

Thanks again ladies!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
February 7th, 2013, 07:25 PM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Navarre Florida
Posts: 97
Quote:
Originally Posted by MelChicago View Post
I'm really sorry to hear about what you're going through. I have been waiting for 3 weeks to miscarry naturally. Tomorrow I'm taking Cytotec to move things along.

This is my second loss. The baby passed at 6 weeks. With my first loss I had a D&C, since I was at 10 weeks. (My doc prefers to do natural or Cytotec at under 8 weeks). Honestly, there's a part of me that wishes I could have another D&C. It was helpful to me to plan it, as well as plan for specific support and recovery time. I felt very cared-for in the hospital, and knew that if anything went wrong I'd be watched and monitored. Waiting this time has been really hard. I'm also incredibly nervous about using the Cytotec.
I am sorry for your loss Mel, I will be here for you and at least you know someone will be going through this right along with you. At least we don't have to be alone in this. I am really scared about the cytotec too, but I think it will be okay! I really do
Reply With Quote
  #8  
February 7th, 2013, 08:44 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,364
With my miscarriage I ended up taking cytotec about a week after I found out I was going to miscarry. My Dr. was really great about the whole thing. I just couldn't handle the feeling of "waiting for the bomb to drop." In my personal experience, everything went fine. THe Dr. wanted me to have someone with me just in case, but it honestly didn't end up being as bad as I expected it too. I know that's not always the case with cytotec though. Just wanted to share my experience.
__________________
Aug. 21 2012
Mar. 31 2013
Reply With Quote
  #9  
February 7th, 2013, 09:42 PM
Beautiful Life!
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,612
I had a blighted ovum in December. I went to a clinic that offered to give me an ultrasound for free, as the techs need updated training all the time. I was supposed to be 7 1/2 weeks. We only seen the sac and they thought I just wasn't as far along as I thought I was. I got in to my Dr. the next day, they normally won't do ultrasounds before 8 weeks at my Dr.'s office. Again, we only seen the sac. So she had my beta's done and then redrawn two days later. She called my the following Monday, should have been 8 weeks, and said my numbers had increased nicely but hadn't doubled so she scheduled me for another ultrasound for the end of the week. The next day I started spotting and then it stopped. The day of my 2nd ultrasound, I started bleeding but not real heavy. Again we only seen a sac, larger than the previous week and she said my numbers had continued to rise still. So she diagnosed blighted ovum and said I should expect to miscarry on my own in the next week. If I had fever, bleeding through more than a pad an hour, etc., I should get to the hospital. She offered the pills, but I wanted my body to process on it's own. A few days later, when I should have been 9-9 1/2 weeks, most everything passed. I understand people naturally miscarrying now, but after experiencing it, I also understand medical assistance and D&C's. It was horrible to be at home and see everything coming out. I bled heavily for a couple more days and then the day of my check-up I had one more clot pass before the bleeding slowed and spotted for just a few more days. My numbers had dropped into the 50's when I went in the last time, from 6000's the week before, so my Dr. said to just monitor with HPT's to make sure they finished dropping. It took a couple more weeks for them to finish dropping.

Anyways, that's my story. Whatever you choose, I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope your mom and whoever else you have for support can be there to help you, whether at home or the hospital. My prayers are with you!
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #10  
February 8th, 2013, 07:28 AM
MoonAngel702's Avatar ~Staying Positive~
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Nevada
Posts: 2,571
I'm so sorry that you are going through this I completely understand being scared to have a D&C. With my 2nd loss I was getting really worried I was going to need the surgery but I didn't.

Thinking of you during this difficult time.
__________________
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Chad & Lindsey~Furbabies Bella & Oliver
4-29-13
Reply With Quote
  #11  
February 8th, 2013, 08:42 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,294
I am so sorry you are going through this!!! It can be so hard to know what to do you have nothing to be embarrassed about!! I felt like bolting several times before mine.

I don't have any experience with a natural miscarriage but I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you! Again so sorry for your loss.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for the amazing siggy!!

Expecting our first baby August 25th, 2014!!!


Reply With Quote
  #12  
February 12th, 2013, 01:31 AM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,042
I am so so so sorry for your loss
And sorry you have to go through this!
Did you go in Monday? I saw somewhere you saying that? Wondered how you were doing.
__________________
Lucy
Due with #3
10 IUIs= one confirmed /IVF= BFN / FET= / FET2= Baby!
My blog


Reply With Quote
  #13  
February 12th, 2013, 06:59 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 6,858
So sorry for your loss! The amount of time it takes to naturally miscarry can vary greatly from woman to woman. Sometimes it takes our bodies a while to "figure" it out, but they do eventually. Mine never did, at least in the amount of time that I was "pregnant" - with my first loss, I went 3 weeks with a minor spotting incident, but it turned out to be a blighted ovum. With the 2nd loss, we had seen a healthy baby at 8w3d, apparently at 8w6d the baby passed, but I didn't even spot a little until I was almost 12 weeks.

My doc does a D&E, which is similar to a D&C, but without the scraping. Anyways, I chose to have that done, because I wanted it to be over quickly and didn't want to wait. However, that was my choice, if I had wanted to wait my doctor was very willing to allow me to do so, I'm glad your doctor is being so understanding and allowing you to choose! I hope you find some sort of "peace" in what you decide.

Hugs!!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
February 12th, 2013, 10:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,844
Hi K Kelly. I'm so sorry about your loss. I didn' thave a D&C, I don't know the exact name of the procedure but the Dr. said it was very similar to a D&C. They did it right in the office the day I found out I miscarried. I was 9 weeks. I chose to have the procedure because I didn't want to be sitting around waiting for it to happen, I didn't want to be at work and it start happening, I didn't want to go through it all. I thought about taking whatever pill it was that they said they could give me but I didn't want to be at home going through it in my bathroom, I've read about woman who are in so much pain and it just really scared me. I wanted it to be over with so I could grieve and start to move on. The Dr. had told me if I decided to just wait it out, there's no way she could tell me when, it just varies woman to woman.

The procedure they did on me I was awake, I didn't have to go under, I definately understand your fears about that. I had surgery a couple summers ago and was a hysterical mess, I was scared I wouldn't wake up lol but I did and I wish I would have gone with the D&C instead of the procedure they did on me. It wasn't the most awful thing I've been through (referring to the pain) BUT it was painful enough that I wish I would have been put out for it. I'm a big baby when it comes to pain though, no tolerance at all.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
February 13th, 2013, 11:15 AM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Vermont
Posts: 1,618
I waited for about two weeks after being diagnosed with a blighted ovum and finally scheduled the D&C. The diagnosis wasn't 100% sure, and I actually went in for a D&C and they sent me home to come back in a couple days for another ultrasound. Personally, I couldn't deal with the tiny part of my brain that was hoping I wouldn't actually miscarry and the doctors were wrong (they weren't, the testing afterwards showed trisomy 16) Anesthesia was not an option for me. They just put a bit of lidocaine on my cervix before the D&C. I understand being scared of anesthesia because I've had other surgeries and it freaked me out. Just from my perspective, the D&C hurt and I am a wimp so I would opt for going under and doing it at the doctor's office rather than gut it out at home.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
February 14th, 2013, 04:06 PM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Navarre Florida
Posts: 97
Thanks everyone, I went in Monday to my MD office and did my DNC today.I couldn't take it any longer. It wasn't so bad. I did not get put to sleep, I ended up chickening out and I am kinda bummed cause I was hoping to conquer my fear. Ultimately I am glad to have it behind me. I just got an epidural and I couldn't feel anything at all except my uterus contracting back down which did hurt but wasn't so bad. The whole procedure took only 10 minutes and I am glad I was awake because it really wasn't bad and I like the fact that for such a short procedure I could be awake and alert afterwards. Afterwards when someone told me they were sorry for my miscarriage, I got a little sad but all in all I feel good and just ready to move on. I really appreciate everyone here reaching out to me and being here for me. I hate that anyone has had to go through this. It's not a fun experience at all. I am glad I didn't wait for it to happen that in itself was pure torture.

Thanks again ladies!
mommamindy likes this.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
February 14th, 2013, 05:58 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,042
I am glad it turned out as well as it could have. I am sorry you had to go through all that
__________________
Lucy
Due with #3
10 IUIs= one confirmed /IVF= BFN / FET= / FET2= Baby!
My blog


Reply With Quote
  #18  
February 14th, 2013, 08:03 PM
Regular
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Navarre Florida
Posts: 97
Thank you
Reply With Quote
  #19  
February 14th, 2013, 10:41 PM
Beautiful Life!
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,612
So glad everything went as well as can be expected! Thanks for the update!
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #20  
February 15th, 2013, 07:19 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,294
I was thinking about you - I am glad everything went alright. In my opinion you were very brave to go through with it awake or asleep. It is such a difficult time that is hard for anyone to go through.

We are here anytime you want to talk!!!
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for the amazing siggy!!

Expecting our first baby August 25th, 2014!!!



Last edited by momology; February 15th, 2013 at 07:21 AM.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:12 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0