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Anyone ever ask for a second opinion? - UPDATE


Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  #1  
March 4th, 2013, 05:34 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,863
We had a healthy, strong HB at 8 Wks. We went in for our 12 wk u/s this past Friday and was told no HB, no growth in a week. I could see on the U/S that there was no movement or HB. But I want them to check again before the D&C.

Has anyone asked for a second opinion after their loss?

This is my 2nd MC in a row. I'm 40 this year and running out of time.
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Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

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Last edited by lelila; March 5th, 2013 at 06:43 AM.
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  #2  
March 4th, 2013, 06:44 AM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,933
I'm so sorry for your loss.

After my doctors appt showing no growth, I did ask to wait about 4 days (till the end of the week) and have another ultrasound, just to be sure. It wasn't a problem getting the additional ultrasound.
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  #3  
March 4th, 2013, 07:02 AM
Redneck_Mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: SE Texas
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I am sorry you are going through this.
I asked for a second opinion with both of mine. Although it didn't make it easier, it eliminated the "what if" that I know I would have experienced. I did not have a D&C with either though. My first one I was able to pass naturally. The second one was induced with Cytotec. I just couldn't bare the D&C without exhausting all other options first. Not that having one is wrong, it just wasn't my first choice.
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  #4  
March 4th, 2013, 07:19 AM
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I had two different ultrasounds done before I had my D&C. I just needed to be 100% certain that I had miscarried before having the surgery. My doctor was more than happy to schedule me for a second ultrasound the following day. I'm very sorry that you have to go through this.
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  #5  
March 4th, 2013, 08:59 AM
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My OBGYN did an ultrasound at their office showing no HB at my 16 week appt and then they sent me to a different place to see an ultrasound tech specialist to confirm. I never asked for this, they just did it. I would think they would have no problem doing another one or getting a second opinion if that is what you want.

Sorry for your loss.
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  #6  
March 4th, 2013, 09:22 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Houston, Texas
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I am so very sorry for your loss.

I saw a strong HB at 9 weeks and when we went in for my 12 week scan there was no HB. My doctor sent me to a different doctor who had a better machine for a second opinion with out me asking - so I did have a second opinion before my D&C.

I can really understand wanting a second opinion and I think it is completely reasonable to ask for another U/S before a D&C. Again I am so sorry you are going through this.
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  #7  
March 4th, 2013, 10:13 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you ladies for all your support. I should add the following to my story:

The doc had two different techs on the U/S. One did an abdominal and a transvaginal and the other observed from a different room and wrote a report. The tech and the doc said they are 100% certain. I know in my heart they're right, I saw the baby laying still, not moving and no heartbeat, even when the put on the doppler on the US.

The doc said since I'm older and have never had a vaginal birth my cervix may not open big enough to miscarry on my own. She scheduled the D&C and I'm terrified it's the wrong decision.
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Leia 40 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 39
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

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  #8  
March 4th, 2013, 12:18 PM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It is a hard thing to accept no matter how many opinions you get. I know I second guessed myself the whole way through but now looking back I know the D&C was the right choice for me and my situation.

It will be a hard decision no matter what, you just have to make the choice that is right for you. When did she schedule the D&C for?
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  #9  
March 4th, 2013, 12:30 PM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I spoke to my OB office and they were extremely obliging. They didn't have any time today or tomorrow so they set me up with an imaging place near the office. I go first thing in the morning. Although I'm terrified of seeing the unhappy news on the screen I'm relieved to have made this request, knowing I have a chance to be sure.

My D&C is scheduled for Wednesday at 6:15 AM.

Thanks again ladies, for everything.
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Leia 40 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 39
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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  #10  
March 4th, 2013, 12:33 PM
WorkerBeeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I had it with my first miscarriage and my second. They were very nice about accommodating my request. I needed to know for sure that there wasn't a mistake and just needed it confirmed before I did anything.
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  #11  
March 4th, 2013, 12:35 PM
Just keep breathing.
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I had to have a D&C for my first miscarriage, which happened at about 10 weeks. It was okay. In fact, I felt very cared for in the hospital, and knew that there were multiple people around to help me through it. I'm sure different OBs have different recommendations, but as I understood it, it's recommended to have a D&C if growth stopped after 8 weeks, since there's more risk of retained tissue.

Even with my second loss, which happened at 6 weeks, I used Cytotec and it took more than a week to pass everything. Had there been more/larger tissue and clots, it would have been that much harder and more worrisome.

It's so, so difficult. But in my situation, I knew it was over and the D&C was the right choice.
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  #12  
March 5th, 2013, 06:45 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Just got back from our second opinion and U/S. Results have not been changed. I cried through the whole thing, but I feel at peace now with our decision to have a D&C tomorrow and so does DH. I know this will bring closure to some degree, and is healthier for me. Thanks again for all your support.
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Wife to Big Bull 39
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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  #13  
March 5th, 2013, 07:54 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry that you had to go through it all again but I glad that it is giving you some peace of mind with your decision. I wish you the best of luck with your surgery tomorrow. Please feel free to ask any questions you may have before and come back after and let us know how it went. We are here for you any time you need to talk things out or just vent. I am so very sorry for your loss.
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  #14  
March 6th, 2013, 01:00 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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I am so sorry Leia...I'm glad you went back to get the peace of mind that the D&C was ok to pursue. (((Hugs))))
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  #15  
March 6th, 2013, 03:49 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so so so sorry that you are having to go through this!!!
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  #16  
March 6th, 2013, 04:55 PM
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So sorry, hoping today went as smoothly as possible.
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  #17  
March 6th, 2013, 05:24 PM
MoonAngel702's Avatar ~Staying Positive~
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I am so deeply sorry to hear you are going through this. Praying for you.
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  #18  
March 7th, 2013, 05:31 AM
lelila's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Had the D&C yesterday. Everything went smoothly. I cried until the anesthesia kicked in. When I woke up, I had no pain, no cramps but I felt like part of me was gone forever.

The most heartbreaking part of all of it is my 7 yr old son, who hugged me and put his ear to my chest (he's still confused where the baby goes) and says "I don't hear the baby's heartbeat". I explained that the baby wasn't there anymore and I could see the pain and loss on his face. I promised him we would look for another baby to put in there but that I had to get better in my tummy first.

Every 5 min I have another emotion. I feel so empty and angry right now. Bear with me while I struggle...
__________________
Leia 40 yrs young

Wife to Big Bull 39
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014

Never Forgetting our Angels 2012, 2013
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  #19  
March 7th, 2013, 07:22 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
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I am glad everything went smoothly yesterday. I am so sorry for everything you are going through. That is such a hard thing to explain to your son but I think you did an amazing job. Feel free to come on here anytime and vent it out - I have found that to be so helpful. We are always here for you. I wish you quick healing from your surgery - I am keeping you in my thoughts.
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Expecting our first baby August 25th, 2014!!!


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  #20  
March 7th, 2013, 07:35 AM
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Posts: 75
Leia, I'm sending big hugs your way. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. The sadness, the emptiness, and even the anger. That was the hardest emotion for me to grapple with. I was so angry but didn't have anyone to be angry AT.

I hope now that the D&C is over you can start the healing process.
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