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I know this is going to sound horrible, and selfish but here goes my writing release. I was at my daughter's swim meet yesterday and it seemed like every woman there was pregnant, except me. Instead of enjoying their round bellies, I was mad. I was thinking how great it would feel to shove them into the pool. These ladies didn't do anything to me but they were there. And I wouldn't ever do that to someone, but I could just feel my blood pressure rising and I was just mad. I still can't see a baby boy without tearing up. This just has to stop. I'm driving myself crazy. Ok, there's my therapy for the day. Ugh.
I'm sorry! Though I have to say this kind of made me laugh- the thought of shoving ppl into the pool. I laughed in the same way that I did when a friend said her (obnoxious) husband was paranoid about his plane crashing on business trips, and she just thought to herself, "Eh." I totally, totally get it. Sporadic, nearly uncontrollable fury and grief. Sending you giant hugs, sister.
Oh I totally know what you mean. I'm terrified to see my SIL for the first time since my MC, because I'm afraid I'll say something horrible. I'm SOOOO jealous she's pregnant. AND due 2 days before I was.
I think you are smart to write it down. Get it out of your system instead of keeping it bottled up.
Thanks y'all. I do appreciate coming here and knowing y'all are on the other end of the wire. I don't have many female friends and my guy friends mostly don't get it. They have been supportive, but they don't get the pain and how it still lingers. They try, bless their hearts.
After thought: my guy friends would probably buy tickets to watch me shove some gals into that pool! Dang, could have made some cash. Sorry, I am like Chandler on friends, I joke when I'm stressed.