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I work this summer at a half-day camp for preschoolers. (Its' part of the larger arts center at which I work year-round, doing different programs). Today was our mid-summer show for parents. Seeing all the parents happily watching their kids was rough, but I completely lost it when one of the moms came to see her older DS and brought her newborn daughter. 10 days old. She was so beautiful, I couldn't even look at her. It was like looking into the sun.
Usually I am able to keep it together pretty well, but today I just couldn't. It seems so easy for everyone else. Sigh.
I'm so sorry you had to feel that way Some days are definitely worse than others. I wish I could give you a big Just try to stay positive and know that will be you one day... I definitely have feelings like that too. Like, why is it so easy for some people to get pregnant and stay pregnant and bring their baby home, then so difficult for others. It's definitely okay to have bad days, though. Trust me. Some days all I want to do is cry and let fear come over that maybe I will never have a living child. Some days, I feel much stronger and feel more positive about it.
__________________ "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." Chad & Lindsey~Furbabies Bella & Oliver 4-29-13
Yes, it really seems so easy... It's like EVERYONE is able to have a child BUT us...
I too eventually feel a kind of "shock"to look at babies... to look at happy families...
What helps me is to imagine the people I see also have a sad story.
I hope you feel a little better soon! I know it has a bitter taste to it, but still!
I wish I could give you a hug too Mel! I think we all have our good days and our bad days. I hate when it sneak attacks like that It does seem so easy for other people which makes it extra heart breaking. I hope the rest of your day goes better.
Thank you *Kiliki* for the amazing siggy!!
I get where you're coming from on this one. I can't go to friends' houses, parties, anywhere like I used to. Inevitably there will be a baby. And I agree it's like looking into the sun... I've always used the analogy it's like kryptonite to superman. Just unimaginably painful. I do not have the exact pain as others, nobody does. I do have two beautiful daughters that are my joy and my delight. But, losing my last two babies has changed me drastically.
I hope you find peace and strength to keep working toward your rainbow.
(((HUGS))) I am so relieved for you as well as the rest of us here that we have each other and JM during these hard times! When I am at my lowest, I always think, where would I be without you all as my main support. No one in my real life truly understands like you all do. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I know just how you feel and I am truly sorry None of us deserve this pain, that is for sure!!!