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I know this is an odd question but I found myself on my old duedate club board last nite. I hadn't gone back since I announced my loss but found myself there last night when I couldn't sleep. I just sat there (sobbing) reading what they were going through and wishing that I could be relating to it. I am sure that this is all part of my hormones dropping and being overly emotional but I feel alone and out of the norm.
Have any of you returned and found yourself jealous and even annoyed abit when they are complaining about insomnia, indigestion, and other things that we would kill for right now? PLEASE dont think I am a bad person.
You are so not a bad person. I can't do it personally because it would hurt too much. If you find there are therapeutic benefits of keeping up in there, then great.. but if it ends up being more painful than anything then maybe it isn't the best idea.
My due date would have been in April of next year. I haven't even been on the board because I know it would hurt too much. I didn't announce my pregnancy on there because we didn't tell anyone except for a few close friends.
First: YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON! It is completely normal to lurk there after a loss. It's like a train wreck... you can't look away no matter how hard you try. I used to lurk after my losses but eventually I made myself stop. I was essentially torturing myself.
Second: We are here for you! Please don't ever feel like you can't post about something. We understand, we get it. That is one thing that I love about this board. We are the most supportive women out there!!
My due date would have been in 10 days. I never go back to the Sept. DDC. My SIL who is due in 8 days, and who I see every few days, talks constantly about cribs, bibs and breastfeeding. That's all the painful reminder I need.
__________________ Leia 40 yrs young
Wife to Big Bull 40
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014
My due date would have been may 17 2010. I never forget that day just like I don't forget August 17 when I had my ectopic pregnancy. I would like to say that it gets easier but it's still really hard. Ivhavent been ttc for the last 3 years. I'm always to that it will happen but sometimes I don't think that
I will admit that I am curious to lurk in mine even though I never officially joined. Like I said in my earlier post, we didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy except a few close friends. But I think I am going to try to avoid lurking there because I know it will just make me really, really sad. I don't begrudge other ladies expecting their babies in April their happiness, but I'm just not emotionally at a point where I can read any of the posts. It makes me too sad about the baby I lost.
I peeked in on the July DDC (now playroom) when they were having their babies just to see how everything went for them. Every now and then I peek in on the April one especially since I have some friends in there but I really really try not to because the pain catches up with me every time.
You are not alone.
Thank you *Kiliki* for the amazing siggy!!