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Jealousy in the form of sadness


Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  #1  
October 2nd, 2013, 05:40 PM
JackieV's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,420
So one of my friends from high school, were close but not BFFs or anything, has a due date 2 days before mine would have been.... She posted her 12 week ultrasound on FB. I didn't want to look at it but I couldn't look away :/

Plus, found out another girl from high school who JUST got married is already pregnant...

Don't get me wrong, I truly am happy for them. Guess I'm just sad for myself because I should be at the same point...

Ugh that just ruined my night after finally getting in a good mood tonight. This does not help my 'new me' thing I'm trying to do....

;-(
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  #2  
October 2nd, 2013, 06:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,848
that sucks. It's really tough to start seeing people pregnant knowing you should be there too. I should have had my baby in July and one of my good friends is due any day now and all she talks about is the new baby. It's hard to have to hear about it we all know how your feeling and are here for ya!
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  #3  
October 2nd, 2013, 07:28 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,968
Seeing/hearing of pregnant women was always the hardest for me, soon after a loss. Not even really new babies- it's like, once they were out, I saw that they weren't mine. But pregnant women is really hard.

Hide her posts on fb. You don't have to unfriend or block her, and if she sends you a pm or you really want to see her feed you can. But odds are she'll be posting a lot of baby stuff from now on, and you don't have to have it right in front of you.
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  #4  
October 3rd, 2013, 04:55 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,035
I still feel jealous! I think it's a normal thing. When you see someone else with something you so desperately want your going to feel sadness, anger, jealousy. Part of it is because they have what you want and part of it is because you had that too and it was ripped away from you. I hope today is a better day for you!
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  #5  
October 3rd, 2013, 05:52 AM
~*Tina*~
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,037
toooooootally understand. its not fair
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  #6  
October 3rd, 2013, 06:29 AM
JackieV's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,420
Well thanks for letting me know I'm not alone... But I will admit I felt like a horrible person as soon as I posted this yesterday it just was not what I wanted to see on the day that marks 4 weeks since my D&C. Poor DH just doesn't get that this is still affecting me. All he said last night was "oh. The next will be the one" and then went to sleep. I mean he did try. And I'm not mad about... Ugh today is going to be a rough one....
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  #7  
October 3rd, 2013, 09:19 AM
hopelessly wishing's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: California
Posts: 546
You are not alone. I had my m/c sept 17 and Monday I found out my sister was pg. I thought it didn't bother me, but when I got home and told dh I just cried.. It's not fair, but there's nothing I can do.
I just have to deal with it.
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  #8  
October 3rd, 2013, 09:20 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,035
Do not feel bad for feeling that way. To be honest it would be strange if you didn't It's a normal feeling and it's not that your wishing ill thoughts about them, it's purely jealous of what they have.
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  #9  
October 3rd, 2013, 09:27 AM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,613
You are not alone in this. I have a lot of trouble reading about pregnancies, especially ones that are due in April like my baby would have been. It's very hard. I think it's completely normal to feel jealous. Sometimes I even feel a little angry. It's really difficult to strike a balance between being happy for their good news but sad about your own loss.

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  #10  
October 3rd, 2013, 10:47 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,296
I agree with all the other ladies!! We have all felt this way I think. I am jealous of my 2 best friends who are currently pregnant and due with in a week of my second pregnancy. It is still hard to deal with but deep down I am happy for them. I hope your day is going alright and dont be so hard on yourself. I think it is pretty normal.


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  #11  
October 3rd, 2013, 12:28 PM
Danielle.W's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,684
I am right there with you. It's really really hard
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