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Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  #1  
October 9th, 2013, 05:42 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,035
How did your DH/SO/BF grieve differently than you after your loss?
Were they ready to try again right away or did they want to wait?
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  #2  
October 9th, 2013, 12:59 PM
BrandieLee's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 468
He just never wanted to talk about it. Basically in his mind he is pretending it didn't happen. However, he was willing to try again as soon as I wanted to. Which was right away.
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  #3  
October 9th, 2013, 04:26 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 918
He was sad about it but took it better than me! Eventually he was okay and I wasn't full okay with the fact...still not most of the time. We would talk about it and occasionally till do. After the third pregnancy loss, we were on the fence on trying again or waiting because it was my third loss and I was scared to become pregnant again and lose it! We decided to leave it in God's hands and decided to wait to make that my body is fully head and get testing done and etc before trying again...and Boom... "I'm pregnant again", unexpected but such a blessing lol
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<3 I have suffered 4 early M/C's since 2012. I am missing my 4 angels so much. My love for them all will never fade. <3

First M/C loss- 7/8 weeks
Second M/C loss- 4-5 weeks(Chemical)
Third M/C loss- 9 weeks and 4 days
Fourth M/C loss- 10 weeks

~No one else will never know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one that knows what my heart feels like on the inside~

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  #4  
October 9th, 2013, 07:18 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,970
After the first loss, he was supportive emotionally, wanted to try again right away, but kind of weird and pushy about our sex life. After the second loss, he got angry at my grief and said he didn't want to try again because he didn't want to deal with me being so sad. I didn't tell him about the third pregnancy until it was well underway into the loss (it was a blighted ovum, so I knew quickly- I really didn't mean to hold out, I just wanted to wait until I had good news, which never came). Then he was cautiously supportive. I was terrified to bring up trying again, after all the ups and downs. But to my surprise, he himself brought it up.

I learned a lot about both of us in this process- mainly that you can't always expect the person you need for sexy love times to be the same person to dry your tears and wipe your nose.
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  #5  
October 9th, 2013, 09:22 PM
Danielle.W's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,684
He was sad, and in complete shock. We cried together once and then he never cried again. He was just on a mission. Get me pregnant again as fast as possible. I think it was because he couldn't fix it and he knew that. So getting me pregnant again was the only way he felt like he was 'fixing' it.
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  #6  
October 10th, 2013, 01:03 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,613
How did your DH/SO/BF grieve differently than you after your loss? I don't really know what he felt because he didn't talk about it. I think he was disappointed. But I don't think he was as sad as I am about it.
Were they ready to try again right away or did they want to wait? He is game to try again right away. I had a D&C in August and I am still waiting for AF to come back, though.
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