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Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  • 1 Post By MrsHopeful

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  #1  
October 16th, 2013, 07:46 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 643
Hi everyone,

I just recently experienced my first miscarriage with my first pregnancy late last month. It has been very difficult for my husband and I to cope with our loss. for me, the worst part seems to be that there are reminders EVERYWHERE. it got even worse when a coworker announced she was pregnant a couple weeks ago and her due date is two weeks after mine was. ive now noticed her slight little baby bump and it is so incredibly hard to hear about her journey through her own pregnancy, and see the physical changes that i should be experiencing along with her everyday.

I miscarried at 7w2d. It started as bleeding, cramps, etc. and I ended up passing what looked like just a long, narrow, maybe 2-2.5 inch long clot. My husband and I went to the ER, where I was told my HCG was at only 28. They could not see anything at all on the U/S. 3 days later, my HCG had dropped to 5. I did not need a D/C. Within a few days, the bleeding had significantly slowed and turned brown. Within a week, the bleeding had completely stopped.
After the bleeding stopped, I began doing OPKs. Originally, it was just to keep an eye on what my body was doing and to get a heads up on when I could expect my first period. However, when I finally got that positive this past Saturday my husband and I could not pass it up and decided to start TTC right away. SO I am now at day 5 in the dreaded 2 week wait! It makes me nervous that we started so soon again but we want nothing more than to just be pregnant again.

I could really use some encouragement and maybe if any of you have any stories to share about past pregnancies, family members, or friends who got pregnant right after a miscarriage and had healthy pregnancies, I'd love to hear them! Also, if I could get some well wishes and prayers for a healthy baby myself, I'd greatly appreciate it!

I am looking forward to hopefully using this as a place where I can get support from women who know what I am going through, and hopefully helping some of you and providing support anyway I can!!

Thank you in advance
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  #2  
October 16th, 2013, 10:36 PM
Danielle.W's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,684
So many hugs mama <3

I had a loss right around where yours was right before we got pregnant with my son. I did not have a cycle in between and got pregnant right away with twins. We lost one of them, but we have him <3

It's so hard to lose a baby and then be pregnant again. But for me I found that with each of my losses I felt like something was 'off'. And when I got pregnant with Lyric it just felt different. That that was the baby I was going to have.

I know that this time I'm going to be more than freaked out but I'm going to try to remember that I don't have to be afraid. And I'm going to celebrate that baby for as long as I have him/her. Love and cherish and let go of the control (since I don't have it anyway)

Hugs! Looking forward to joining you on your journey.
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Levi 9/2009 & Mara 9/2013



My Ovulation Chart

Cycle 12 (of 16) after 2nd tri miscarriage: Soy Iso take 5

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  #3  
October 16th, 2013, 10:45 PM
Danielle.W's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,684
Oh and I forgot to comment on the co workers pregnant thing.

My sister is pregnant, we were pregnant together. She was due 5 weeks after me. It's really hard watching her pass the place where my baby died. I would NEVER wish that one her or anyone, but just realizing that she's actually going to have a baby. It feels hard because it feels like it's my turn. Like it should be me. I try to think of it in terms of: it isn't her fault my baby is dead and hers isn't. So I try to celebrate with her and cry at home. Celebrate the life she's growing, and grieve the life I lost. It's a messy and complicated road but we're stronger than we think.
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Mama to Valley, Lyric
Levi 9/2009 & Mara 9/2013



My Ovulation Chart

Cycle 12 (of 16) after 2nd tri miscarriage: Soy Iso take 5

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  #4  
October 17th, 2013, 05:42 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 643
Thank you so, so much. <3
So much of what you say makes so much sense and it's really inspiring.
I cannot imagine my coworker being my sister instead. You are very strong. My sister just had a baby in August and it has been hard just seeing him and pictures of him at times. Your sister is lucky to have you, someone who is trying so hard to be happy for her when you've been put in such an unfair position.
I think the overwhelming thoughts of "it's not fair" is one of the hardest parts. I just want to scream it sometimes, lol.
I felt like something was 'off' during my pregnancy too, I think. I wasn't having many symptoms and I was worried something was going to go wrong from the beginning.
I just started a new job at the beginning of September. It is my first job ever in my career, teaching. It's very stressful, and was extra stressful in the beginning, as I was hired not even a week before school started. I found out I was pregnant on my first day with students. After the miscarriage, I worried that maybe it was somewhat my fault because maybe it was the stress that did it..but I try not to think that way and know that it probably would've happened either way..I hope.

It definitely is a messy and complicated road..you are right! To have to go down this road after experiencing so much joy is hard. There's LOTS of ups and downs.

I've seen a couple of your posts about your early tests and I am SOO hoping for you that this is it for you!! I can totally see the lines and I agree with you that I think they would've faded more!

Last edited by MrsHopeful; October 17th, 2013 at 05:44 AM.
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  #5  
October 17th, 2013, 06:11 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,035
I am so very sorry for your loss. The ladies here are wonderful! You will find the support and love you need here. It's always scary to start trying again but I can assure you I have seen many women pass through here who have gotten BFP's right away and went on to have a healthy & happy pregnancy! As for having to see your co-worker, it's going to be tough. I always think it's 100% worse when you have to watch someone else going through where you would be and watching them have what you so desperately want. We are here for you! Sending lots of positive vibes your way! I hope your 2ww ends in a beautiful BFP!
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  #6  
October 17th, 2013, 06:21 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 643
Thank you, thank you!! You've helped to put my mind at ease a little bit. You ladies are so sweet and so strong and I already can tell I'm in the right place.

Thank you for the positive vibes!
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  #7  
October 17th, 2013, 09:11 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,296
I am so very sorry for your loss. Watching someone go through pregnancy where you "should have been" was one of the hardest things for me. With my second loss my 2 best friends are both due with in weeks of when I was due. It is hard but you will get through it We are here any time you need to vent about it!! I so hope you get your sticky BFP right away.
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  #8  
October 17th, 2013, 12:46 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 643
It really has made everything a million times harder, on a whole different level. But at the same time, I don't ever want someone to feel bad for being blessed with their baby. :/

It really helps to have a place to go and to have you ladies to share the ups and downs with.
Thank you so much <3
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  #9  
October 17th, 2013, 06:21 PM
Rainbow Catcher's Avatar Bound and Determined
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,366
Great to "meet" you, and hope your stay here is short because you get a BFP soon. So sorry for your loss... and totally understand your situation.
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  #10  
October 17th, 2013, 07:35 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 643
Thank you so much!
I never realized how helpful it would be to have a group of women that I don't even know to talk to and to sympathize with me.
Even though all of you ladies truly are amazing, I too hope my stay is short! This 2ww is the longest I've ever experienced I think. Either way, whether its a positive or negative, I have some scary things to deal with ahead of me and I'm happy I found this place to give me all the encouragement and advice I need!
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  #11  
October 18th, 2013, 11:52 AM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,613


I am so sorry for your loss. This is a great board for support. Everyone is really friendly, and I know you will love it here. I look forward to getting to know you.

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  #12  
October 18th, 2013, 02:11 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 643
Thank you so much <3
I look forward to getting to know all of you, too!
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