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Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  • 1 Post By Danielle80

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  #1  
October 28th, 2013, 05:19 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 646
I've been getting faint but definite positives since Saturday night. Was feeling great, lines weren't really darkening but I wasn't too incredibly worried. I was having lots and lots of symptoms...
Then today, it all fell apart.
I started bleeding...a mix of dark brown and fairly bright red. It's different from what a period would be like for some reason..it seems thinner or something. It's not super heavy like with my m/c but its definitely a lot more than just spotting. It's kind of lightened up some it seems.
..I'm completely heart broken and don't know how much more I can take. I feel like crawling in a hole and dying.
Part of me thinks "oh I've heard of girls bleeding and things being just fine! Maybe it'll be ok!" But I know that's pretty unrealistic. Maybe...MAYBE if it was just some spotting.

At this point, I guess all I can hope for is that this is in fact just my period and my body isn't going to go crazy now and be out of whack.

I don't know what the problem is...do I have a progresterone deficiency? What's wrong with me?!
I called the on call midwife and I'm waiting for a call back..

I never thought I'd be one of the unfortunate women to have to go through this. Right after getting off the pill, I had beautiful cycles. Ovulated every month, period every month, always right on time, exactly two weeks apart...

Starting to come to terms with the fact that I may just not be able to keep my babies...and it hurts.. A lot
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  #2  
October 28th, 2013, 05:32 PM
Rainbow Catcher's Avatar Bound and Determined
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,428
I'm so sorry that you're going through this When your midwife gets back in touch with you, I would ask for a beta test - to be honest, I don't see the lines on your tests (except a little bit on the one that was after 10+ mins which may be evap), but it is worth it to see if this is possibly a chemical or not so that you know for sure if it was a bad batch of tests/evap lines or if it was truly a BFP. It may give you peace of mind to know for sure either way.

I'm really sorry... I know how frustrated you are
__________________
Forever missing our angel, 6/7/13.

10/19/14 - DE IVF, Transferred two 8-cell embies (3dt)
10/28/14 - 1st Beta = 70 at 9dp3dt
10/30/14 - 2nd Beta = 163 at 11dp3dt
11/5/14 - 3rd Beta = 1300 at 17dp3dt
11/17/14 - U/S - Twins, both with flickers of heartbeats!
11/25/14 - One twin stopped growing and lost their hb. :'( The other measures perfectly, hb: 157.

Last edited by Rainbow Catcher; October 28th, 2013 at 05:35 PM.
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  #3  
October 28th, 2013, 06:26 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 646
I know for sure that I had positives I know they're super hard to see in the pics, I couldn't see them either. But in person they're pretty clear...unfortunately. And I took several different brands. I'd rather have gotten all negative tests, so I do understand what you're saying about peace of mind but unfortunately there's not really a question

Are chemicals different on your body than a further along m/c? Do they worry as much about your HCG dropping? Do you think this is most likely just my period starting?

The midwife still hasn't called me back. It is so frustrating never being able to get ahold of anyone. How long after is it too long to take my betas? At some point it will be irrelevant, wont it?

...I think in many ways this is harder than the first even though its earlier...because its making me think this is going to be a reoccuring thing everytime I get pregnant.

Thank you for your kind words and suggestions <3
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  #4  
October 28th, 2013, 06:58 PM
Rainbow Catcher's Avatar Bound and Determined
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,428
I can't really speak on how chemicals affect your body and if it is the same way on your body. I hope you hear from someone soon!! So sorry you're going through this.
__________________
Forever missing our angel, 6/7/13.

10/19/14 - DE IVF, Transferred two 8-cell embies (3dt)
10/28/14 - 1st Beta = 70 at 9dp3dt
10/30/14 - 2nd Beta = 163 at 11dp3dt
11/5/14 - 3rd Beta = 1300 at 17dp3dt
11/17/14 - U/S - Twins, both with flickers of heartbeats!
11/25/14 - One twin stopped growing and lost their hb. :'( The other measures perfectly, hb: 157.
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  #5  
October 28th, 2013, 07:00 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 646
Thank you
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  #6  
October 28th, 2013, 08:19 PM
Danielle.W's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 2,285
Hugs <3 Chemicals aren't as "big of a deal" HCG wise because your HCG never really goes very high. Hang in there <3
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Mama to Valley, Lyric
Levi 9/2009 & Mara 9/2013
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  #7  
October 29th, 2013, 05:54 AM
Danielle80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hunter Army Airfield (Richmond Hill), Ga
Posts: 3,667
My first m/c was what they considered a chemical. I had lines that were darker but not as dark as the control line. I went in for hcg the day I started bleeding and my #s were 7. They knew. I came back 2 days later and it was 0. It was like a heavy period. Clotty and crampy but pretty much a period. I then Od 2 weeks later exactly and got pregnant with the pregnancy that I just m/c'd. This time was so different. But I know that I watched my lines get way darker than the control line and my first hcg was 900 (and I think it had dropped by then). A dr and u/s tech at different times said because of how early hpt's are now people know about chemical pregnancies where as 10, 15, 20 years ago women usually didn't know before 6-8 weeks and when their periods were "late" but then showed up they didn't have google to see what had happened. They assumed it was just their body being weird.

Those are my differences in a "chemical" and an early m/c.

I pray that it is just spotting and that IS considered normal in pregnancy. It's not over and you shouldn't lose hope. I totally understand the feeling of "not me" because I felt that after this m/ c. I kept saying 1 is a fluke but 2 is a pattern and I NEVER thought I would have this issue.

You are one of the most upbeat posters on here. Whenever I read your posts you lift people up. I am not very inspriring but I want you to know how much your words meant to me. Also please know that I am praying for you. I prayed last night after I read your reply to my post and now this morning as I read this.
MrsHopeful likes this.
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  #8  
October 29th, 2013, 06:03 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,624
I would push for some testing to be done. Personally I want as much info as I can get. If they find nothing wrong with the first set of testing, get another set done. See a different doctor. With using your testing done something the second doctor sees something the first one missed. I would definitely not let it go though. I would push for answers.
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My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11

Expecting my baby boy May 9th
Emergency cerclage put in 12/24

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  #9  
November 16th, 2013, 05:50 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 646
Danielle, I am so sorry this response is so delayed. I just want to say thank you so much for your words and your heartfelt prayers. You ARE inspiring. I am so happy that I could give you a tiny bit of comfort. If nothing else, I am happy to have these experiences so that I can truly sympathize with other women that are going through the same thing and do my best to help. Your words have helped me just as much and I hope you know that. Just as you said, the second one has been so hard because it is when you start thinking this can't be me..this isn't a fluke..something is wrong...but I pray and pray that what ever the problem is, it miraculously fixes itself somehow.. For me AND for you. I keep searching for stories of women who have had two and have gone on to have healthy pregnancies..and they ARE out there...so I pray everyday that I, and women like you, will be one of those lucky ones. I hope that you are doing well and you are staying strong. Thank you again, so, so much. <3

Shortcake, all of the doctors I'm talking to seem to think testing is pointless I am at a loss right now. And I don't want to put my body through more stress if they "aren't going to find anything" like I keep hearing. I went to a doctor for the first time and she said I can do testing, but then I would be starting a series of testing that would include other very expensive and extensive tests. So I just don't know what to do or what is best for me..to push for it and go through it or not..
On the other hand, I have this really strong feeling for some reason that I might have a progesterone imbalance..so I think no matter what, this is something I am going to make sure I am addressing the next time around..whether I am demanding some supplements from my doctor or, if I hear good reviews from using the creams and adjusting my diet...maybe going that route...
still just kind of confused..
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  #10  
November 16th, 2013, 06:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: MN
Posts: 4,995


I've had two losses now. Talking to my doctor, he says he doesn't recommend testing until a woman has 3+ losses. He said he's had women who insists on doing tests and it ends up being very expensive and they ultimately find nothing. He basically told me it's bad luck and maybe bad genes, something not developing as it should. In my case though, I've also had two healthy pregnancies, which changes his outlook on the situation, I think.

It's so hard.
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  #11  
November 16th, 2013, 07:45 PM
ashleyjo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,731
I'm sorry.. I don't have much else to offer besides :hugs: and I know what you mean about mutiple losses, I'm now 50/50 on miscarriages and healthy pregnancies and for some reason that really scares the crap out of me.. prayers to you mama..
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Ashley
Wife to Ray, mama to Colin (6), Brock (4) & Aubrey (1) & expecting our final installment 10-3-2016
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  #12  
November 16th, 2013, 08:08 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 646
Tiffany, so sorry for your losses that's pretty much the reaction that I got as well. Part of me wants to push for testing but the other part doesn't want to put myself through more stress and pay a bunch of money for something that is likely to show nothing. It really is so hard. That about sums it up.

Ashley, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses as well. Why can't life just be fair, right?! it sucks that so many of us have to go through this torture. I am scared too. It truly is terrifying. One of the scariest things I've ever been through.

I just want it. So. Bad.

Hold your babies close, ladies. Good luck to both of you. <3
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  #13  
November 16th, 2013, 08:10 PM
Danielle80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hunter Army Airfield (Richmond Hill), Ga
Posts: 3,667
I am so happy to hear from you! Not to see you back here but to hear that you are doing ok. I am sorry the dr's are being butts. My Drs can't say much either. I am waiting for one test to come back and that's the antiphospholipid test. You might want to ask about that, it does play a huge role in recurrent miscarriages. Also you could try taking an 81mg aspirin everyday. If you look it up, it is a very common prescription for women with multiple m/c.
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Danielle: Mom to Caitlyn (16), Brooklynn (12), Jackson (8), Lincoln (5), & Baby Harrison


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  #14  
November 16th, 2013, 08:34 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 646
Ugh these crazy doctors!! Thank you so much the advice, I will definitely look into that test and the aspirin. I know taking a low dose aspirin everyday has a lot of great benefits besides that and i actually have a new bottle in my cupboard so maybe I'll start that now..lol. Thanks again for all of the warm wishes and kind words and support <3 I hope your test results come back with good results!! Although, at the same time, I know we kind of hope for bad results too because that would mean we have an answer at least, right?? So whatever you are hoping for, I hope that is what you are given!
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