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Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  • 1 Post By Rainbow Catcher

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  #1  
December 6th, 2013, 07:49 PM
AngelMommy413's Avatar Selah's Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 32
Hi Ladies,

My DH and I are recovering from the loss of our first baby.. I was 10 weeks along and had a d&c in November.
We have decided to wait a few months before TTC again so that my body can heal and make a good, thick lining when we TTC our rainbow baby.

In a few weeks, we will be going to visit DH's parents overseas. We hadn't told them about the baby yet (we had hoped to announce on Thanksgiving), and I don't want to tell people now.. Honestly, I feel like a failure that we lost the baby, and I don't want to have to deal with their pity or my MIL's advice.
I don't think she would notice anything, except that I gained a lot of weight in my stomach that just won't seem to go away. My MIL always comments about my weight (gain/loss) and it annoys the heck out of me, but I just don't think I could handle it now. It's quite obvious that my tummy is bigger.

Does anyone have suggestions to be able to slim down a little? How long would it take to lose the baby weight?

Last edited by AngelMommy413; December 9th, 2013 at 08:33 PM.
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  #2  
December 7th, 2013, 08:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,624
I'm sorry for your loss. I gained 17 lbs with my last loss at 10w6d. Getting moving again, eating right and drinking a lot of water helped me to lose the weight. It took 5 months.

I hope you conceive your Rainbow Baby soon.

Leia
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  #3  
December 7th, 2013, 12:46 PM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Stacey
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 9,980
I gained 40lbs in my last pg. I still have 15lbs to drop and I'm 7w PP after a full 39w pg. I'm hoping to have it gone before getting pg again. I eat paleo and finally started working out again. Go check out the paleo diet, it's awesome!
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  #4  
December 7th, 2013, 01:07 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,608
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Would it be possible for your DH to ask his mother ahead of time not to comment on your weight? I completely understand not wanting to tell her about the miscarriage, but if she continually comments on your weight and you don't want her to, maybe it would be best to just nip it in the bud.

As for weight loss, walking briskly on the treadmill on a steep incline has helped me lose a lot of weight.
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  #5  
December 7th, 2013, 04:46 PM
AngelMommy413's Avatar Selah's Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 32
Thank you for all of your kind words. Besides DH, only one close friend knows about our miscarriage, so the support and well wishes from you truly mean so much.


I gained about 12 pounds by the 16th. I never was nauseous enough that I lost any weight, which is probably why it's still here. My weight has stayed constant since then, even with watching what I eat and exercising. I'm finishing my final exams now, so there isn't too much time to exercise between now and visiting the in-laws, unfortunately. I'll definitely try the paleo diet and drink more water from now.

Quote:
Would it be possible for your DH to ask his mother ahead of time not to comment on your weight? I completely understand not wanting to tell her about the miscarriage, but if she continually comments on your weight and you don't want her to, maybe it would be best to just nip it in the bud.
It's a bit difficult to explain her personality, but DH and I are a young couple, and his mother thinks her opinion is unquestionable. They live in another country, so at least we don't have to see her often, but when we do visit, it's for an extended period of time. She comments on everyone's weight, not just mine, and part of it has to do with the culture. I think if DH said anything to her, she would suspect, and that would be worse than dealing with the comments.. I love her as my MIL for his sake, but she's just something else..
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  #6  
December 8th, 2013, 10:06 AM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,608
I'm sorry. I guess maybe it would kind of tip her off. I wouldn't be able to stand the weight comments because I have some problems with an eating disorder. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with something so stressful.

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  #7  
December 9th, 2013, 09:59 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
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I wish I had advice on the weight loss.. it's something I struggle with myself. As for your MIL.. I would DH beforehand that he needs to speak with her. There is no reason for her to treat you that way. After a loss the pain/emotions are so raw that we truly have no control over our emotions. So I think he should warn her. Please jump right into posting with us hun. We are here for you!
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  #8  
December 9th, 2013, 12:32 PM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so very sorry for your loss

I had the same issues after my first loss and had some people comment on my stomach in a "joking" manner. It really really upset me so I can understand not being able to handle that. The only thing that helped me was healthy eating and just getting back out for my daily walks and jogs. It took me a couple months but my old pants fit again.

I agree with Katie - you may want DH to tell her before hand. There are just so many things she could say that may set you off it would be very hard to deal with. You just have to choose what is best for you. My DH told my inlaws and also asked them to please not mention it to me and they were (mostly) respectful of that. So maybe try that?

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  #9  
December 9th, 2013, 04:37 PM
Rainbow Catcher's Avatar Bound and Determined
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hi!! I would have DH speak with her as well and he can explain to her about YOUR culture and that it is rude and offensive. You shouldn't have to bear these things that are hurtful - and if he explains that it is hurtful, then perhaps she will understand that you are sensitive to it (culture or not, I don't think anyone likes to hear about their weight from ANYONE).

Cut the carbs... that's the best thing anyone can do to lose weight.
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  #10  
December 9th, 2013, 08:23 PM
AngelMommy413's Avatar Selah's Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
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Maybe I will ask DH to speak to his mom... I'd almost rather deal with the weight comments now, but considering we'll be visiting for a few weeks, it might be best for her to know and understand that comments are not appreciated.. lol

I did have a little weight loss this week! I cut out carbs and started eating oatmeal for breakfast and a little smaller portions. I hope it's working~
Thank you for all the suggestions!
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Selah, November 2013

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  #11  
December 10th, 2013, 04:52 AM
Rainbow Catcher's Avatar Bound and Determined
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Congrats!!! Oatmeal has lots of carbs, though FYI Keep it up! I need to get on that wagon too... Its just SO hard with the holidays and parties and all!!
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  #12  
December 10th, 2013, 08:06 AM
AngelMommy413's Avatar Selah's Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow Catcher View Post
Congrats!!! Oatmeal has lots of carbs, though FYI Keep it up! I need to get on that wagon too... Its just SO hard with the holidays and parties and all!!
Whoops! I meant sugar! I cut out sugar, haha

It is tough around the holidays! But someone told me once that it's not during the holidays, but the rest of the year that counts. Sounds like a pretty good excuse to me
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Selah, November 2013

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