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Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  • 1 Post By .:Shortcake:.
  • 2 Post By smsturner
  • 2 Post By Danielle80
  • 1 Post By rabbitranch

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  #1  
December 12th, 2013, 12:21 PM
Danielle80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hunter Army Airfield (Richmond Hill), Ga
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Ok, since the last m/c I have had one cycle where we had to wait and then this is our first cycle officially trying. I am on cd 19 and I don't know if I have Od yet because I didn't use opks and I haven't had any EWCM. I am frustrated because I said to myself that we were trying but I didn't want to push it. I wanted to let things happen. Well things have not happened. My DH has been stressed at work and he hasn't felt well and we have only dtd 2 times since AF. TWO TIMES! I don't want to be all up in his face about dtd because I thought we would go back to normal (every couple days) but it hasn't and now I feel like crap about it. I am sad about the wasted cycle. I am worried that I am not Oing. On my u/s a few weeks ago they found (for the first time ever) a lot of small cysts on both ovaries. I have never had that ever. They said it looks like pcos but I didn't think you could just develop it. I don't know. I am confused. Just thought I would vent here. I hope you all are having a better day than I am
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  #2  
December 12th, 2013, 12:28 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
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I'm so sorry. You can vent to us any time.
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  #3  
December 12th, 2013, 12:57 PM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Stacey
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 10,038
I feel you, girl!! Just jump his bones. Don't tell him you're doing it to get pg. On that note, just get back into the groove with DH and stop trying to time it. It will happen! I know how you feel about wanting to try again. I'm right there. Sometimes, connecting with our DH's (who also are mourning the loss), is what you need to do first. He may be afraid. Didn't you say you were + for mthfr?
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~Anastasia (14) C/S, 8lbs 7oz, 20.5"~
Noah (11) C/S, 8lbs 12oz, 19"~
Oliver (5) VBA2C, 7lbs 3oz, 19.5" ~ Grayson (10/16/13) 2VBA2C, 9lbs 12oz, 22"
born sleeping at 39w pg; Protein C def, FVL, PAI-1 , & MTHFR
Lavender Kate (5/20/14) 2.5oz, 6" Lost at 16w


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  #4  
December 13th, 2013, 05:21 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
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Sometimes our men just need that extra push... put on something sexy and seduce him I really think it's important to find the enjoyment with our men again. A loss can really take it's toll on your relationship and sometimes you just need that extra TLC to get back to where you need to be. I know for me we DTD more now than when we were timing it. It becomes so much of a chore more than an loving thing.
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  #5  
December 13th, 2013, 05:48 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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There is nothing terribly fun about ttc sex. It's especially hard for men I think. It takes real effort to make it fun and have them be interested. Especially if he is feeling sick, and sad about the miscarriage too. And if you're pushing him or arguing with him, it might make him feel pressured and that's hard for men too.

As far as the wasted cycle, every wasted cycle sucks, but it's only setting you back one month! That's a very short amount of time. Don't worry so much about it! The BEST way at home to be sure of ovulation, is to start charting with temps. The only way to be absolutely positive is to have ultrasounds that can see that the egg left the follie, but it doesn't sound like that is really an issue you've had before? Your ticker says it's been a month and three weeks since your loss, and you had one not long before that, so it's that's really not crazy for your cycle to not be normal yet. Some people need a few months for your body to be right again.

As far as PCOS goes, you don't develop it later on, but it is possible to not get symptoms until later on. If you were on the pill for awhile, that totally masks the symptoms and you could never have known. Have you had your ovaries looked at before this? Have you been on any meds? Some cause cysts to form.

I'm very very VERY sorry about your losses. But by your tickers, you've ovulated at least twice in the last few months, if you DO have pcos, it doesn't seem to be interfering with your cycle much and that is a GREAT thing.

Waiting sucks more than anything on the whole earth. But honestly, I think it's going to be what you'll need to do to get your cycle back and get hubby back on track. Good luck hun.
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I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #6  
December 13th, 2013, 09:10 AM
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I am praying for you. I know you must be frustrated. smsturner is right, it's good signs that the potential pcos is not interfering with your cycle. I know women who have the pcos condition, and in order to even have a cycle must take meds.

I'll pray that's not what it is. I just miscarreid my first pregnancy a couple months ago. It's not easy. Glad we all have eachother.
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  #7  
December 13th, 2013, 09:23 AM
Rainbow Catcher's Avatar Bound and Determined
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Virginia
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Hey Danielle, I'm sorry We all feel this way sometimes - you are not alone. I would really suggest that you start temping to know for sure if you ovulate. You get so used to it, it's really not that difficult... and it's empowering to know what's going on - to feel like you're involved... at least, that's how I feel.

Hang in there!! Plan a date with your DH when he's feeling better perhaps? Buy a new piece of lingerie? Try to have a night that's just about the two of you!
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  #8  
December 13th, 2013, 09:56 AM
Danielle80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. You all are so wonderful. I really appreciate all of your opinions and suggestions. To answer the ones that I remember:

Yes I have had many u/s of my ovaries only once seeing a cyst (that they told me about ) I had an u/a last year and no cysts were seen.

I have not been on bc since my TIA in 2006. My periods have been wonky since I weaned by last child when he was 2.5.

Ok now I have a q for you all. I am on cd20 and have been having some menstrual like cramps. I caved and bought a pack of opks yesterday and took my first one last night. It was not pos. I took one today at around 1130am and it looks pos to me. I don't temp so I don't know what this is but tell me what you guys think could be going on? I'm attaching a pic

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  #9  
December 13th, 2013, 09:58 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Your pic didn't work hun.
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I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #10  
December 13th, 2013, 10:08 AM
Rainbow Catcher's Avatar Bound and Determined
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Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,366
looks positive to me
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  #11  
December 13th, 2013, 10:10 AM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Looks great to me!
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Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (14), ds Marcus (12), Our new baby Dean





I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26
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  #12  
December 13th, 2013, 10:22 AM
Danielle80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you Jesus. This might not be a wasted cycle. Now I just pray that we have time to catch that egg and get a BFP!
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Last edited by Danielle80; December 13th, 2013 at 10:31 AM.
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  #13  
December 13th, 2013, 12:06 PM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Stacey
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 10,038
Woohhoo!! GL!!
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Stacey, wife to Allan & Mom to:
~Anastasia (14) C/S, 8lbs 7oz, 20.5"~
Noah (11) C/S, 8lbs 12oz, 19"~
Oliver (5) VBA2C, 7lbs 3oz, 19.5" ~ Grayson (10/16/13) 2VBA2C, 9lbs 12oz, 22"
born sleeping at 39w pg; Protein C def, FVL, PAI-1 , & MTHFR
Lavender Kate (5/20/14) 2.5oz, 6" Lost at 16w


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  #14  
December 13th, 2013, 12:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Go make a baby!!
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  #15  
December 13th, 2013, 02:00 PM
rabbitranch's Avatar est. 2000
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: central FL
Posts: 13,564
I'm sorry you're feeling so much anxiety, I keep cycling in and out of the same feelings. Talked to DH last night and he was initially saying we should wait til summer (summer??!! ugh!) to TTC again. I don't think (for the most part) that men feel that sense of urgency and emptiness that we feel and although they may really want a baby, it's not that biological hunger that we have.
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  #16  
December 14th, 2013, 09:49 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 643
Danielle, I am going through almost EXACTLY what you were/are right now!! This is our first cycle trying again and I started OPKs on CD11 and it's now CD15 and my OPKs are super faint. I thought maybe I missed it or won't ovulate at all this month but you're giving me some hope. Last month, my temp spiked on CD24!!! And I had no positive tests but they weren't as faint either..

We are a mess, girl! :/ but I do truly thin you ovulated yesterday. Those lines look GREAT!!! I am praying for you that it wasn't a wasted cycle for you and you were able to at least get one good try in there in time!

It is so frustrating but hopefully all of our frustration and same as will pay off one day soon.<3<3
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