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Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  #1  
February 16th, 2014, 06:31 AM
HazelMom's Avatar Emily
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 541
Hi! I was in the October DDC until I had a miscarriage on Valentine's Day last week. I knew this pregnancy had been pretty different for me (many fewer symptoms than with my son) so part of me wasn't surprised. It was still scary the day it happened, and of course really sad.

I had a few questions, since I'm new to this:

- This likely wasn't my fault, right? I was super stressed out on Tuesday last week and took a cross country flight on Weds, so I'm worried that I caused it to happen.

- My OB wants to check my hCG on Mon to make sure it's gone down (it was 47 on Friday). What will happen if it hasn't gone down enough?

- When is it okay to TTC after miscarriage? The ER doctor last week told me, "You can just get pregnant next month." I might wait until June anyway but I'm not sure.

Any help/advice you can give me would be great! Thanks.
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  #2  
February 16th, 2014, 07:22 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 993
I am very sorry for your loss. What happened is most definitely NOT your fault. As a matter of fact, between 25 and 50 percent of pregnancies end in a miscarriage (depending on what studies and facts they use).

Your OB should follow your HCG levels down to be sure that you have passed all of the tissue. Usually retained tissue will be indicated by HCG levels that do not return to zero. It takes a different amount of time for everyone and can happen in a matter of days to weeks.

Your OB will also tell you when they feel it is safe for you to TTC again. Everyone is different because we all have different situations. Some people are cleared right away, while others are asked to wait 1-3 (or more) months. Even if you are cleared right away, only you know when you are really ready to TTC again. It can be a very emotional decision.

Again, I am very sorry for your loss. This is a wonderful place, filled with wonderful and supportive women. I hope your stay here is short and sweet.
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BFP#2: 5/12, our rainbow, DS born 1/4/13
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BFP#4: 5/17, EDD 1/15/15, praying this is our second rainbow
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  #3  
February 16th, 2014, 08:19 AM
rusticbythesea01's Avatar Steph
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Virginia Bch
Posts: 3,475
I am so sorry for your loss. I was part of the oct ddc too. I have never been through this either and had the same symptoms you did. I didn't even have a dr yet so I'm going to buy some hpt's today to make sure they are negative, then I plan on ttc again right away. It is entirely up to how you are feeling if you want to start trying again right away. ((HUGS))
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  #4  
February 16th, 2014, 09:11 AM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,613
I am so sorry for your loss. It is not your fault. I worried about that a lot after my miscarriage in August, too. But it is most definitely NOT your fault.



I agree with the other ladies that your OB will be able to tell you when it is safe to TTC again. Mine told us to wait about 2 months, but I had to have a D&C.
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  #5  
February 16th, 2014, 07:04 PM
HazelMom's Avatar Emily
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 541
Thanks very much for the support -- it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in this and it wasn't my fault. I appreciate your help! Now I'm just hoping my hCG looks okay tomorrow.
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Expecting a little girl on Jan 23rd, 2015!

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  #6  
February 17th, 2014, 05:04 AM
rusticbythesea01's Avatar Steph
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Virginia Bch
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Good luck today! Let us know how your appt went!
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  #7  
February 17th, 2014, 01:56 PM
HazelMom's Avatar Emily
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 541
I just had a blood draw to check my hCG, and it was down to 8 today! Phew.
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2/14/14 - 6 weeks





Expecting a little girl on Jan 23rd, 2015!

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  #8  
February 17th, 2014, 02:37 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 993
That is wonderful!
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BFP#2: 5/12, our rainbow, DS born 1/4/13
BFP#3: 11/13, missed miscarriage discovered at 10 weeks
BFP#4: 5/17, EDD 1/15/15, praying this is our second rainbow
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  #9  
February 17th, 2014, 06:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,549
I am so sorry for your loss I would have been a part of the Oct DDC, too, except for I miscarried before I could join I am glad your HCG is back down to normal. I went for blood work on Valentine's Day and it was 22.6 (was 30 on Feb 11th) so I have to go back this Friday to get it checked again. My temp has finally dropped so at least my body realizes it isn't pregnant any more.

My OB wants my HCG to be 5 or below before we start ttc again so I am hoping it is down to that when I go Friday! I am anxious to get started ttc again and I am just hoping that I don't O before this Friday. Since this is my first miscarriage I don't know when to expect to O. I am also still spotting some even though I actually started miscarrying on Feb 5th.

I hope that once you start ttc again that you get your BFP quickly!!
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  #10  
February 17th, 2014, 06:32 PM
Rainbow Catcher's Avatar Bound and Determined
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,371
SOrry for your loss - I hope you heal quickly.

I agree w/ the ladies - it's not your fault.

Technically, you can try right away. If you had a natural m/c, and your HCG is that low - the only reason they ask you to wait is #1 to date a new pregnancy if you get pregnant right now and #2 to ensure you're emotionally ready. It's really your decision.

Take time for yourself to grieve and take care of yourself while you're healing.
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  #11  
February 18th, 2014, 05:26 AM
HazelMom's Avatar Emily
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 541
I'm going back and forth on the TTC thing -- I think I want to wait one cycle and try again but DH is freaked out and wants to wait a long time ("until summer or fall"). Sigh. I think he might be taking it harder than me and I want to give him his time/space to grieve.

Hopefully he'll feel better about things soon...we'll take a month to relax and then reassess where we are.
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2/14/14 - 6 weeks





Expecting a little girl on Jan 23rd, 2015!

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  #12  
February 18th, 2014, 10:43 AM
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I know the other ladies answered your questions but I wanted to tell you that you DID NOT cause your miscarriage. I know it's hard to take in but that is something you must tell yourself over and over. Praying you get your rainbow baby soon. Please jump right into posting, the ladies here are wonderful!
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  #13  
February 18th, 2014, 05:01 PM
HazelMom's Avatar Emily
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 541
Thank you so much!
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2/14/14 - 6 weeks





Expecting a little girl on Jan 23rd, 2015!

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