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Afraid of babies?


Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  #1  
March 26th, 2014, 10:18 PM
seekingrainbow's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Rome, NY
Posts: 874
I have a major anxiety attack any time I am near a baby. Does this seem normal? Has anyone dealt with this before and if so how did you overcome it? I assume it will get easier once I am pg with a rainbow but in the mean time...
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Wife to Brenton and mom to Matthew (6) and Ryan (5)

and my little Jedi, Lucas Gary
Born Sleeping, 1.3.2014

Held close to my heart for 239 days

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  #2  
March 27th, 2014, 12:01 AM
momRT's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 343
We went out to dinner a few weeks ago and while we were waiting for our table there was a very pregnant woman there and a couple with a baby. I held it together long enough for us to get to our table and then lost it. Anytime I go to my OBs office I have to give myself a second in the car to get myself back together before I drive home. I work in a NICU and the thought of returning to work makes me cry some days. I'll be asking to work in another unit for a while when I do return, but if they don't have enough NICU trained staff I'll have to go. I'm really worried I'll have a breakdown in the unit if I have to go back there too soon. I don't have any advice on how to get over this, but you're not alone. I think time will be the only thing to really help. I also feel like getting pregnant will be the only thing to really help me move forward, but the thought of getting pregnant and all the fears that'll come with it now also make me hurt.
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Jackson 01/27/2014
Born at 19 weeks and 2 days


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  #3  
March 27th, 2014, 07:52 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,201
I have been there. Looking back now, I understand that it was all part of the grieving process and it would bring on a flood of emotions. Even after this last loss (at 10 weeks) I have some issues being around young babies. I skipped a party last weekend because there were 3 brand new babies there. I continued to struggle with this while pregnant with our rainbow, but it did get better after he was born. ((HUGS)) Be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time you need to grieve. Unfortunately the pain never goes away, but in time, you will learn to LIVE with the pain.

((HUGS)) to you too @momRT (I had to leave a restraunt once, it was awful!)
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BFP#1: 8/11, DS born sleeping at 19 weeks
BFP#2: 5/12, our rainbow, DS born 1/4/13
BFP#3: 11/13, missed miscarriage discovered at 10 weeks
BFP#4: 5/17, EDD 1/15/15, praying this is our second rainbow
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  #4  
March 27th, 2014, 08:18 AM
seekingrainbow's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Rome, NY
Posts: 874
Just hard. My BFF had a new baby a month before my son was born. I can't even be around her. And while my friend understands completely, how long can a friendship truly last when you're avoiding her child. Our oldest children are 3 weeks apart and want to see each other. I feel like I need to get over it and move forward for the kids to see their friend and so she doesn't have to hide her new daughter.
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Wife to Brenton and mom to Matthew (6) and Ryan (5)

and my little Jedi, Lucas Gary
Born Sleeping, 1.3.2014

Held close to my heart for 239 days

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  #5  
March 27th, 2014, 08:31 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 206
I'm sorry for your loss. It must have been very difficult. I agree with PPs, time will heal you. There is a process and you are just going through one phase at the moment. If you think avoiding will help, then do so. But remember you cannot do this forever. One day you will have to face whatever it is that you cannot accept within you. In the meantime, you can talk to somebody about what you feel. Or maybe write a journal. You will be okay. In time...
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  #6  
March 27th, 2014, 08:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,201
Quote:
Originally Posted by seekingrainbow View Post
Just hard. My BFF had a new baby a month before my son was born. I can't even be around her. And while my friend understands completely, how long can a friendship truly last when you're avoiding her child. Our oldest children are 3 weeks apart and want to see each other. I feel like I need to get over it and move forward for the kids to see their friend and so she doesn't have to hide her new daughter.

In my opinion you NEVER need to just get over it and move on. If you do not allow yourself the time to grieve the pain will manifest itself in other ways. Give yourself some time. I find that it is really just the really new babies and very pregnant bellies that bother me. As the babies get bigger (sittin, crawling) it does not bother me as much. Hang in there. In many cultures there is a set greiving period of one year. I am not saying that is how much time you need, but it has only been a few months. You will know when you are ready. Even when you are ready it will still be hard. But each time you do expose yourself to a little bit more, it will get a little bit easier.
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BFP#1: 8/11, DS born sleeping at 19 weeks
BFP#2: 5/12, our rainbow, DS born 1/4/13
BFP#3: 11/13, missed miscarriage discovered at 10 weeks
BFP#4: 5/17, EDD 1/15/15, praying this is our second rainbow
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  #7  
March 27th, 2014, 09:15 AM
AmyGail's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,191
I am the opposite. My neice was born a few months after my first loss and I cling to her. As soon as I am around her I am ready to pick her up and cuddle. It makes me a little emotional inside when I hold her, but she always puts a smile on my face and OH that smell!!! Heavenly!
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Baby Stonehawk Warrior due January 12th!!!


My name is Amy ~ Mommy to 3
Treston, 20 ~ Tanner, 15 ~ Lali, 4
My little angel babies~ lost 10/2013 @ 7w1d (June DDC) & 3/2014 @ 8w2d (Oct DDC)
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