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A needed vent...


Forum: Trying to Conceive after Loss

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  • 1 Post By Bartlettmomma

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  #1  
May 1st, 2014, 04:06 PM
Preemie Momma
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Keokuk, IA
Posts: 148
I had my appointment for my second opinion today. I explained to the doc that I didn't disagree with the diagnosis of PCOS, just more along the lines of the treatment plan. I had tried to get my medical records sent to them sooner, but was told I'd have to sign a release form the day I went to the new doc's office. I did all my new patient stuff, as well as mentioned that on my left side, in the ovary area, I often have some minor pain which concerned me. Because my previous doc diagnosed PCOS with just an ultrasound, for some reason, new guy seems reluctant go agree... he said he needed whatever bloodwork I've had done (which was only a thyroid check that came out clean) before he could go any further. He saw my BBT chart and saw that I did ovulate, and went on to explain that Clomid works best for those who don't ovulate, but MIGHT help shorten my cycles by triggering O sooner. He also mentioned he'd like to test for insulin resistance, and take ultrasounds near ovulation time to check out my follicles. This was about 20x more information than my last doc gave me and made me happy that he wants to be so much more aggresive when it comes to getting me pregnant.

Here comes the vent part: While I am disappointed he didn't whip out his pad and prescribe me some dang Clomid, I thought it was extremely great that he wants to be so proactive towards figuring out exactly where I am to help us have another baby. But, my husband sees today's visit as a total waste. We're on a high deductible insurance plan, and he is the sole provider of cash at the moment. We're not broke or anything, (and I'm going back to school for nursing) but my DH is not a doctor going kind of guy. He's upset that my 'lack of organization' in not having the bloodwork already ready for the doctor means this visit was an unnecessary cost seeing as I'll have to go back in a few weeks to truly begin everything else. Since nothing but basic Q&A was done, it most likely won't cost over 50 bucks but I'm irritated at my DH for making me feel like I've done something stupid and wasteful. I so rarely ever do or buy anything for myself while my DH has purchased a motorcycle AND a four wheeler both this month alone. I am very money-concious. I'll be the first to admit that I know this infertility stuff is likely to get expensive, but it's the ONLY thing I'm really asking for- and it isn't just for myself! Isn't meeting anf getting to hear from a new doc what his plans are to knock you up worth 50 bucks?!
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BFP #1: 6/11- delivered 12/25/10 @ 28 weeks, now 3
BFP #2: 1/13- miscarried at week 6
BFP #3: 2/14- miscarriage at week 7









Thanks MommaDuck's for my GORGEOUS Siggy!!!


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  #2  
May 1st, 2014, 05:37 PM
isaroo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 2,182
I'm sorry he doesn't think the meeting had any value. But it did. You already feel good about the Dr being proactive. Any time you go to a new Dr they always want to meet you and discuss why you're there and your history. Unless you are sick, I don't know any Drs that will go into the first appointment diagnose and cure your ailments all in one shot. Once the Dr sees your previous blood work, you might just be able to get the Dr to call the clomid in, if you need it. To me, $50 is worth the peace of mind that you have a Dr now standing behind you willing to do what needs to be done to get you your baby.

And if it were me, I'd turn it right back around on my husband and tell him he was foolish to choose the high deductible plan when he knew we were trying to have a baby and would have a lot of Dr appointments (even though my husband just signs up for the plan I tell him too lol)
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  #3  
May 1st, 2014, 06:30 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 855
I agree with isaroo, most doctors are not going to meet you, diagnose and fix the problem all in 1 visit. I am sorry your H doesn't seem to get that. Men just think differently than women and really don't understand everything that we go through and the pressure that we already put on ourselves. The last think that we need is for someone to tell us that we are wasting time. ((HUGS))
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BFP#1: 8/11, DS born sleeping at 19 weeks
BFP#2: 5/12, our rainbow, DS born 1/4/13
BFP#3: 11/13, missed miscarriage discovered at 10 weeks
BFP#4: 5/17, EDD 1/15/15, praying this is our second rainbow
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  #4  
May 1st, 2014, 07:44 PM
Preemie Momma
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Keokuk, IA
Posts: 148
Well, the insurance is through his work so really no choice there and also, we didn't know there was a problem until a couple of months ago.
__________________
BFP #1: 6/11- delivered 12/25/10 @ 28 weeks, now 3
BFP #2: 1/13- miscarried at week 6
BFP #3: 2/14- miscarriage at week 7









Thanks MommaDuck's for my GORGEOUS Siggy!!!


Thanks to Kerian for this wonderful blinkie!
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  #5  
May 1st, 2014, 08:01 PM
Preemie Momma
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Keokuk, IA
Posts: 148
Thanks y'all. My mom was the one who really pushed me to do a second opinion and I'm really glad she did. I feel much better thinking that the new doc has my back.
humnck likes this.
__________________
BFP #1: 6/11- delivered 12/25/10 @ 28 weeks, now 3
BFP #2: 1/13- miscarried at week 6
BFP #3: 2/14- miscarriage at week 7









Thanks MommaDuck's for my GORGEOUS Siggy!!!


Thanks to Kerian for this wonderful blinkie!
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  #6  
May 1st, 2014, 09:11 PM
isaroo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Arizona
Posts: 2,182
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartlettmomma View Post
Well, the insurance is through his work so really no choice there and also, we didn't know there was a problem until a couple of months ago.
Sorry, I was being a bit snarky with my insurance comment. That's how my husband and I are with each other, especially when I make a decision and it backfires. lol I don't want you to think I was calling either of you foolish. Just wanted to clarify that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartlettmomma View Post
Thanks y'all. My mom was the one who really pushed me to do a second opinion and I'm really glad she did. I feel much better thinking that the new doc has my back.
Then this visit was exactly what you needed.
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~Missing our Angel ~ March 8, 2014~


Next Appointment and Anatomy Scan on Sept 4th!



Last edited by isaroo; May 1st, 2014 at 10:51 PM.
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  #7  
May 5th, 2014, 09:56 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 7,152
I agree, this visit is exactly what you needed!

I would say something to DH about his buying 2 separate "toys" (high dollar at that), tell him, you know, this is something that we both want and we have to work towards it together. The doctor sounds great and is giving us options and is willing to look into things for us so that we can get the most for what we pay for. Would he rather he just sent you off for a bunch of unnecessary higher dollar tests right off the bat? Even if you had shown up with the blood work, who is to say he wouldn't have asked for new blood work?

It sounds like that visit, despite what your DH says, was great for you and exactly what you needed! I am so glad that you have someone on your side.
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